A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Facebook etiquette question:Me and my ex decided to stay friends after the relationship ended. We didn't have contact for a few months, then started hanging out again, and it works ok. I'm not in love with him any more, yet... It's still bothersome to see his facebook updates when there's some girls he flirts with. He claims they're just "friends", but I've been going over it so many times already I'm sick of trying to convince myself they're just friends. Maybe he's gullible, I don't know, but whatever friendship he has with these girls it appears as flirting in my eyes. And it annoys me and yes, even if I am over him to the stage where I've started dating again, it still hurts a bit. So I though I'd just delete him from my friendslist on facebook. I know if I just hid his posts I wouldn't have to see it all, but I know I'd get curious and eventually check his facebook anyway. When we just hang out I don't have to see his conversations with these girls, so hanging out works ok.. it's just the facebook part that gets to me.Now, does this make sense? Do I have to explain to him why I deleted him, do you think it is over-reacting to delete him from facebook? If he wants to hang out we still can, I just don't want to be updated on his intimate friendship with other girls, if you know what I mean. And, I'm also friends with one of these girls he's "closest" with, and they always comment on each others statuses with cute things, liking pictures, and last time they even talked about moving to another city together! Because she was moving and he wanted to follow after her... friends.. right. Anyway. Should I delete her too, or will that only cause drama (like her calling and asking why)?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (24 September 2011):
 When you delete people off your friend's list, you don't have to tell them about it. FB isn't to be taken personally.
If your ex asks why you deleted him, just say that you were cleaning up your FB to only close friends and family. Maybe throw in the excuse, you don't want to cause problems with the guy you're dating because he's jealous you two are still in contact. You don't have to tell him the real reason he got deleted.
Then delete your friend as well, even block them as to where they can't send you another friend request.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Delete him & her, it's causing you upset in your life - this is something that is an easy fix.
If they ask, just tell them you want a drama free life.
If they get mad.. *shrug* they will get over it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): You know, the truth is that when you break up with someone there are different parts to the break up. First the relationship ends. Then you have to start letting go piece by piece. And you may very well get over things quickly. But then... they meet someone new nad you find yourself jealous or hurt all over again. And you sort of start over. It could be months or years, it doesn't matter, it can still sneak up on you. I think it is best to delete him and perhaps even over time let the gap widen. By keeping him in places where he is visible to you it is causing drama and preventing healing. If you need to delete her too, then I would. And just be honest, say "I'm still healing and I didn't want to cause drama." If she doesn't get that, then she's not a friend.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Just delete him, don't tell him you deleted him. Who wants to deal with that kind of drama because they're worried about being rude?
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