A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was w/ my boyfriend in a serious relationship for 2 1/2 yrs and i recently broke up w/ him b/c i didnt see a future w/ him. he started dating someone new in only two weeks and when i found this out i was really hurt. does this mean that our relationship meant less to him than it did to me? and is it unreasonable for me to be hurt over this?
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 September 2011):
 What I meant was the relationship was meaningful at one time, when you two were still together sharing love and laughs. Now that you two are broke up it's now a fond memory. It still means something but not as much as it did when you two were still together.
I'm married now, and my previous serious relationships don't mean as much to me as they did then. Make sense?
Maybe I just move on faster.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 September 2011):
 Yes, it is unreasonable for you to be hurt over what the guy you dumped is doing with his life. You didn't see a future with him, so he found someone who might.
Time for you to move on.
Some people cope with a break up by dating someone else. And some people are just not good at being single.
When I was younger and broke up with my first BF, I didn't date for a year, that is how long it took me to "get over" him. He on the other hand dated at least 5-6 girls in the same 12 months. Different coping mechanisms & skills.
Let him go, and stop worrying about what he is doing in his life. Time to focus on your own life.
And no, I don't think it means that your relationship didn't mean anything to him. Maybe he just doesn't like to dwell on it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 September 2011):
 There is a wide spectrum of times for people to grieve following a breakup.... His, evidently, is measured in HOURS; your's is more like days/weeks or months....
You needn't give it a thought if he "moved on" more quickly than you did.....
Good luck...
...............................
A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (24 September 2011):
 No, I don't think he has moved on that quickly. But you broke up, that's his way of coping up. It is more likely that your ex has put himself in a rebound relationship.
Anyhow, as you are not anymore together with some valid reasons, just let him be. Look after yourself and find ways to move on. See your friends, spend time with your family, take up a hobby, focus on your work or studies. Whatever he is doing now is not anymore your business. And though it is undeniably painful, it is one phase of breaking up. This too shall pass.
...............................
A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (24 September 2011):
 I think you have to give more details on the breakup. If it was a relationship that was waning for a long time, with you two drifting apart gradually, then, no, I do not think it is unreasonable for him to move on so fast.
However, if it was a break-up that came out of a big fight or was very emotional, then, yes, moving on so fast is strange.
I do not agree with tennisstar88. If a relationship was real, and there were memories and experiences shared, then breaking up is kind of a death, and it has its own period of mourning. It is right that this should be expected. But if it was dying slowly over a long period of time, then the mourning will necessarily be shortened.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 September 2011):
 I can see why that would hurt. However, once you break up with someone, you have to just let them go. I assume you broke with him for a reason, because he wasn't that committed. You can think of this positively, that at least you were right in breaking up with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 September 2011):
You broke up with him..of course he's going to move on. Do you expect him to sit around and pine for you??
He's not going to sit around and reminisce about the times you two HAD together. Instead, he's going to move onto the next woman. The relationship meant something at one time, when it was still going on. But now it's done and over, so it's time to move on.
If anything I don't understand why you're not moving on, seeing as you did dump him and you don't see a future with him. Why waste anymore time dwelling on what you had? Sorry OP, but it's unreasonable to be upset that he's already moved on.
...............................
|
