| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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What are the best and worst condoms?
Q. what is the best protection condom for not getting my girlfriend pregnant,and what is the worst protection condom?...
A. 14 December 2009: If you can find it in a drugstore, it's safe. All latex and latex substitutes are equally effective. I recommend Lifestyles ultra thins (and yes ultra-thins are just as effective as normal thickness) if you're not ordering online. To help prevent ... (read in full...)
I struggle to trust, and I "found" a text he sent another woman
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. I am struggling to trust him. It is probably my own trust issues but I keep finding reasons not to trust him. He swears he is loyal and loves me. But I found a text message he sent to another ...
A. 14 December 2009: I agree. You have no idea who this woman is, she could be a relative or childhood friend! You need to just trust him. I know that if you have trouble trusting him everything seems suspicious, but you really do have to give him a chance. Do NOT ... (read in full...)
Why am I so attracted to black guys?
Q. I'm 17, white. Okay so I've always been attracted to guys of all races, but recently I've been really attracted to black guys. What's with my sudden interest?...
A. 14 December 2009: I don't see where pregnant comes into this at all...?
Anyways, go with what you're attracted to. I have always been really attracted to black guys too and I'm white. Doesn't really matter, does it?... (read in full...)
How can I save this doomed friendship/relationship?
Q. Hi, two saturdays ago I met a guy I'll call him Marty. He was very forward, kissing on the dance floor, I thought I could trust him. Hmmmm... Two days later I told him I was in his area and he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place. ...
A. 14 December 2009: Once you call someone once and they don't respond right away, the ball is in their court. They know you called and have a choice to call back or not. He obviously likes you enough to tell you to slow down, so I don't think it's doomed yet. But you ... (read in full...)
Can I regain the trust of an ex-cheater?
Q. My girlfriend "befriended" another man when her and I were serious. I caught her sleeping at his place multiple times, but she would never admit to cheating. As soon as I broke up with her (for cheating) she immediately entered a relationship with ...
A. 14 December 2009: I agree, if she doesn't admit to it and you know for sure she was cheating, she obviously sees nothing wrong with cheating and will most likely do it again. It will be hard, but you've probably got to move on to someone more honest. Good luck.... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't show me any attention... he prefers porn!
Q. Well I've been married for 1 year and a couple months ago my husband has started watching porn on his i phone and he was so caught up with it that he wouldn't even go to bed up until 4 am in the morning. He wouldn't even pay attention to me even ...
A. 14 December 2009: Cheating won't solve anything, you need to talk to him about this. You know cheating is wrong, and I hate to say it, worse than looking at porn. You should sit him down and tell him about how it's hurting you. First you need to understand it's not ... (read in full...)
Major problem, that won't go out of my mind
Q. Hi, I have a major problem. I work for a major national service, at a major location, I don't really want to say more than that though. Recently we took on some college students on work placement, they are there one day a week. Last week was th...
A. 14 December 2009: I agree, you should wait. It would be really awkward to have to work with her if she does reject you. You'll get your chance to tell her if you feel it's best, but you should definitely wait.... (read in full...)
I can't help but feel like he is lying to me...
Q. Hi, about a month ago I accidently came across some opened e-mails from dating sites in my boyfriends e-mail account (he always forgets to signout so hotmail opened up to his, and I didn't realize it was his right away). Anyways, he denied opening ...
A. 14 December 2009: I agree about testing it, it seems "bad" to do or whatever, but it's bad for him to lie about this. Yes, it sounds like he's lying. It's possible his friend's set it up as a joke, but that's not what he said. I'd guess that yeah, he lied. If that's ... (read in full...)
Does he want me yes or no? I need an answer so that I can deal with issues and move on with my life!
Q. Ok I used to date this guy like 2 years ago and he lived on the same street that I did and the Chemistry was there and everything so I wound up getting pregnant and I did the un thnkable thing and got a abortion I regret it everyday but I wound up ...
A. 14 December 2009: He's obviously not on the same page as you. You should NOT feel guilty about getting an abortion. It's horrible that he would make you feel guilty. It's your body, your decision. I bet if you had told him he would have tried to force you to have it. ... (read in full...)
Why am I attracted to older men?
Q. Hi. I am seventeen and a senior in high school. I have a little bit of a problem. I'm only attracted to older men. My friends try to set me up with people in my grade, but I always say no. They ask me why not and I have to lie to them, because I'm ...
A. 14 December 2009: Nothing wrong with that at all! Why do you think everyone likes Johnny Depp? I wasn't attracted to people my own age until college. Even now I still find older men more attractive sometimes...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is talking to his ex behind my back!
Q. Okay this girl messaged me on myspace saying she was a friend of my bf's ex. She was telling me how he was calling her and messaging her on myspace saying how he missed her but he wants to keep it from me till he is ready to tell me. I didn't want ...
A. 14 December 2009: I agree. If when you confront him he either gets angry at you for not trusting him, he launches into an enormous and extravagant story, or does the guy sort of grunting and refusing to answer (basically if he does anything but reassure you that ... (read in full...)
Sex advice needed please!
Q. Well im 15:) I have a bf of barely 2 weeks he is 15 too we have known each other for a long time.. We have liked each other since we met. We went out once it didn't work out but we still like each other we have had foreplay like fingering sucking ...
A. 12 December 2009: First off, if you are in the United States, it's illegal to have sex at your age and I can't advise you to do something illegal. That said, yes it's fairly young to have sex, but if you trust him a lot and feel you are TOTALLY ready, I'd say j... (read in full...)
How can I make him hate her and love me instead???
Q. i am sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend that he cannot sleep with because of her religion. Anyways i am confused. people have told me that he is playing me and i think he is. he has said some really hurtful things to me like he loves her but ...
A. 12 December 2009: He clearly does not love you. If he did, he would be with you, not her. It doesn't really matter what the circumstances are here, if he loved you he would have broken up with her in heartbeat to be with you. He obviously just wanted to get laid. ... (read in full...)
Help for chapped lips???
Q. Why is it every time I think about a guys strong and lean body(and other parts) I get really horny? Another question is does anyone know of a really good chapstick for REALLY chapped lips? I put chapstick on like 4 times a day and it does not help...
A. 12 December 2009: You get horny because you're attracted to hot men. haha. That's why people buy porn, because it's hot and makes them horny.
Chapped lips make sure you're drinking a lot of water. If you aren't getting enough water, no amount of chapstick will hel... (read in full...)
She's so perfect for me... I just don't find her physically attractive...
Q. i was in a relationship with a girl that ended about 3 years ago, it was my longest relationship and most serious, we dated for about 2 1/2yrs. I didnt think i was happy with her, i thought i could find someone better, someone with which i was more ...
A. 12 December 2009: I may get yelled at a lot for what I'm about to say, it may sound shallow or horrible, but you can be perfect for each other on paper. If you don't have that spark, you will never work. It's not about how pretty they are or whatever, there are just ... (read in full...)
My usually outgoing, goofy b/f has come home very quiet
Q. We've been together, and living together for almost 4 months now. He went to his moms for thanksgiving and just came back Tues dec.8 A lot of stuff came up that he had to help his mom with. Now he's finally home. But I can't help but notice ...
A. 11 December 2009: No, this is not normal. Sounds like something happened while home that upset him. You should probably talk to him about it.... (read in full...)
Married sex issues! He says I take too long to orgasm.
Q. I've been married for two years been with him total 10.5 yrs. I enjoy giving oral...he does not..he says I take too long...and has "sighed" in the middle of it once. I seem to only get oral when he's been away with work...like it's a welcome home ...
A. 11 December 2009: I don't know if this is too "spiteful" or not, but maybe when he's about to finish, tell him he's taking too long and go masturbate in front of him. Give him a taste of his own medicine! Maybe. Though that could possibly cause more problems. If it's ... (read in full...)
Facebook ruins relationships?
Q. I have decided that things like facebook and myspace are definate relationship problems... I was just on fb, and I decided to send a comment to my boyfriend, because we've not really spoken today, and I saw that he'd commented on a girl's photo. ...
A. 11 December 2009: It's really easy to misread things on Facebook and blow things out of proportion. There was a girl on facebook constantly posting on my boyfriend's wall and commenting on his pictures about how adorable he was and things and even commented on ... (read in full...)
What could this be?
Q. i think i shouldve started my period already, but i dont keep track of them so they might be irregular. I usually get acne and cramps like a day or 2 before my period comes. But ive had cramps on and off for about a week and ive got a REALLY B...
A. 11 December 2009: You're still young, this is totally normal. Sometimes periods come on with more severe symptoms than normal, it's all just part of being a teenager. Just make sure to wash your face a bit more and take some ibuprofen.... (read in full...)
Men's opinions on this please!
Q. I would like a male opinion on how the vagina looks with the inside labia bigger than the outside.... Women's opinions are welcome also! PLEASE BE TRUTHFUL!!...
A. 11 December 2009: Mine are definitely like that. I just asked my boyfriend what he thinks, his answer "I don't even know what the hell an outer labia is, but I like your inner labia being big because they're fun to play with with my mouth. Wouldn't be as much fun if ... (read in full...)
Should I bring this very dodgy subject up with my boyfriend?
Q. I was hanging out with my boyfriend the other day and he was all going through my phone (of course i didnt have anything to hide) but anyways, then he kept trying to take pictures of me and i was being dumb and like shy so then he had to get the ...
A. 11 December 2009: I agree it could be seen as a breach of trust. You could always bring her up without bringing up the phone and flat out ask him if he's spoken with her recently. Do it subtly, like don't just slap him with it out of the blue, make him comfortable ... (read in full...)
Why are orgasms on my period better?
Q. Why was the orgasms I had today on my period better than they ever were when I am not on it?...
A. 11 December 2009: Don't worry about it, you have more bloodflow down there during your period so you're easier to arouse. Personally I find that I have an easier time getting turned on and a much harder time orgasming and that mine aren't all that great during, but ... (read in full...)
I enjoy sex much more while I have my period, does anyone else agree?
Q. hi all. i enjoy sex much more when im on my period. it feels so good "down there". does enybody else agree? and why is this? ...
A. 11 December 2009: You're so not alone. 1. It's constantly lubed so it feels better for BOTH parties. 2. You have more bloodflow down there, so you're much easier to arouse! Don't worry about it, just enjoy it. It's totally normal.... (read in full...)
Why does she sign her emails this way?
Q. There's a girl I like who I've been exchanging emails with. She always responds the same day I send an email and sometimes it takes me a week to write back because these are long emails and I am busy. At the bottoms of her emails she started ...
A. 11 December 2009: I agree with both posters. She's getting the vibe that you aren't interested in her. Generally for a girl it's thought that if a guy is interested, he will respond ASAP! If a guy is just too busy to get around to it, I'd assume he just doesn't like ... (read in full...)
He doesn't care for sex...could it be the porn?
Q. I am 21 and so is my fiance'. We have been together on and off for the past 3 years. In the beginning we were very intimate with each other. Now we have a 3 month old little girl and I have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship. I know I was ...
A. 11 December 2009: First off, that's REALLY rude and inconsiderate of him to say those things to you and to comment on how hot those other women are. That's just horrible and no guy who's worthwhile would do that and it's extremely disrespectful. Secondly, yes about ... (read in full...)
Should I have a chlymidia test?
Q. I am too minds about having a chlymidia test... i haven't slept with the guy i was last with but i did do oral sex...and he is known for being a player. As we all no chlymidia has NO symptoms...and college are giving tests out for free. ...
A. 11 December 2009: If it's free just do it! It's just a little swab like a pap smear. Totally painless.... (read in full...)
Will he be turned off when he sees me naked?
Q. im scared to let my boyfriend see me without my shit or pants off because im self conscience about my body and the fact that i have "smaller breasts" he went from being with a skinny chick with a D cup to me which im not fat im athletic with a okay ...
A. 11 December 2009: Men love breasts in all shapes and sizes, believe it or not many prefer smaller ones. I'm a B cup and every guy I have ever been with says mine are the nicest or some of the nicest they have ever seen. I love my chest, even though they aren't ... (read in full...)
Why does sex with me make him sick?
Q. Hello, I have been with my bf for 10 months and for the last 3 he has been complaining about my vagina being loose and says that it was not like that before. because of this he believes that i have been cheating. I have one child, 7 years o...
A. 11 December 2009: Having a baby would slacken it, though I doubt there's really been a change. He's obviously just trying to lower your self-esteem so you will stay with him. I recommend you ditch this guy! Having more sex does NOT make your vagina looser, with him ... (read in full...)
Like a virgin, not!
Q. My last relationship ended badly more then 4 years ago. I recently began dating again and I am very anxious about sex and intimacy. My ex and I enjoyed an incredible sexual connection and I do masturbate so I doubt that its physical. I am/was very ...
A. 9 December 2009: I had regular sex for awhile then went though a phase of not having any sex for a year and a half. Everything was still in good working order when I tried again though. I was pretty nervous but it wasn't a big deal to start again. Don't worry too ... (read in full...)
He didn't say the right things when I asked how I would know he would never cheat on me!
Q. My boyfriend and I just got back together after a year of being broken up. The difference this time is that i moved to my mom's house on april so we live an hour and a half away now. We used to live together at his parents when we were toegther by ...
A. 9 December 2009: I agree, that's a pretty bad answer. If he has nothing to hide, he should have no problems reassuring you. The thing that worries me is that he said you won't know if he's cheating. That almost sounds like he's trying to convince himself! For now, ... (read in full...)
What are more sure signs a guy likes you?
Q. What are the signs a guy likes you? Since this can be slightly vague at times, what are more sure signs a guy likes you?...
A. 9 December 2009: Well some common ones: -Is fairly physical with you, like playful shoves and such. -Notices small changes in your appearance, like a new haircut. -Compliments you a lot. -Goes out of his way to spend time with you. Also jumps at opportunities... (read in full...)
My sex drive has died, could it be the pill?
Q. Hi, i lost my virginty to my boyfriend this year, it was both our first time. I went on birth control Microgn 30 two months later to help improve my periods. On these i got quite ill and moody, but i did have a good sex life with him. After 3 months ...
A. 8 December 2009: Believe it or not this is a really common problem with birth control pills. I had this too until I switched brands. It's just about finding the right one for you. One pill may work great for one woman but have terrible side effects for another. Just ... (read in full...)
What can I do for cramps besides pain meds and heating pads?
Q. What do I do for cramps besides taking pain medications and using a heat pad? My period comes tomorrow and I can already tell the cramps will be bad. Also I dont have time in between classes to change my tampon and most of my teachers dont let...
A. 8 December 2009: I agree about the orgasm. That should take care of those cramps! If you're just in too much pain to have one, try doing pilates/yoga. I agree though with the other poster, if you're bleeding as much as you say you are and in so much pain it ... (read in full...)
Is there a secret to the first kiss?
Q. how can i get her in for the first kiss? is there a secret to it?...
A. 1 December 2009: Nah. It's also pretty much a right of passage to have an awkward first kiss. Enjoy it! Don't worry. No one will judge you for it. Mine was super awkward and I was a terrible kisser, but the guy just thought it was endearing.... (read in full...)
Where can we go, where we don't have to spend money? Any suggestions?
Q. To simplify -this is a conversation I have ALOT with my girlfriend: ME: I don't feel like staying in the apartment tonight, let's go out someplace and do something. GF: I don't have any money. ME: We don't have to spend money - we can just...
A. 2 October 2009: Go for a walk. Go for a bike ride. Go people watching. Go for a drive. Watch the sunset together.... (read in full...)
Ladies: What is the 'decent size penis?
Q. One for the ladies, i know most of you will say size doesn't really matter it's the way you rock the boat, but what do ladies think is "the decent size penis" ...
A. 22 September 2009: Honestly length does not matter. Seriously, I promise as long as you're not super tiny length makes no difference. Width does though... Most women can only get off from clitoral stimulation anyways, so it really is the way you move your hips or ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to think I'm a virgin even though I am not
Q. Hi, i need some help. When i was 20 years old i had sex with a guy....that was my first time. Since that was my first time so i bleed. Now im 25 years of age. And for the last 5 years i didn't had sex. I just wanted to know if now il have sex with ...
A. 14 September 2009: You can't prove something that isn't true. That's just lying. You should come clean sooner rather than later. Lying is just always a bad choice.... (read in full...)
Are we too clingy?
Q. It seems like we're perfect together. Both of us have mellow personalities and neither of us have tempers so when something bad happens we end up laughing. We never fight, we never get tired of talking or things to talk about, we disagree but never ...
A. 14 September 2009: That's not clingy, that's love. It's not clingy unless it's a one-sided thing. You're lucky you've found someone so perfect for you. Don't worry about what's "normal" or not normal. I assure you, it is. I'd be more concerned if you two were talking ... (read in full...)
Am I being insane, or is he comparing me to an ideal that I will never be?
Q. So, I recently got engaged to a man that I love so dearly, and I know that he loves me too..Here's the background: it took us around 7 or 8 months before he actually committed, once he did, we were very serious and he has "never looked back"...but ...
A. 14 September 2009: It sounds like you're feeling insecure because he likes you exactly as you are, without having to try. I know it's a strange concept, but it means your man loves you for you, and not for your hours and hours spent on hair and makeup. You know how I ... (read in full...)
Are guys really addicted to checking out other women even if they are with someone?
Q. are all guys adicted to really checking girls out when they are with someone else or is that just natural...
A. 14 September 2009: Yes, but don't immediately assume that in checking out every girl he's also lusting after her. It's just plain rude if he does it obviously though. It's not so much an ingrained habit as just something everyone, especially every guy, does. I assume ... (read in full...)
Pill? Or no pill?
Q. ive put on a little weight over the last couple of years, and my boyfriend has suggested i come off the pill. its always been a good choice to go on it, the sex feels better for both of us and its safer than using condoms. altho ive tried a few ...
A. 14 September 2009: Why not try a copper IUD? First off, there are no hormones so there can't be weight gain or mood swings. Secondly, it is effective for 10 years so it's by far the cheapest. It's also more effective than the pill because it's constant, and you can't ... (read in full...)
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