A
female
age
41-50,
*owerhouse
writes:Ok I used to date this guy like 2 years ago and he lived on the same street that I did and the Chemistry was there and everything so I wound up getting pregnant and I did the un thnkable thing and got a abortion I regret it everyday but I wound up telling him and he was so hurt because I didn't tell him didn't let him be there for me or help me make the decision so we stop speaking and it got reall ugly but I still love him and he tell me he love me we get together for lunch every now then and it like when we see each oher we are over each other but it never goes far as sex and it's like we have a open chapter that just won't close I try to tell him do he want a relTionship or he don't and he will never answer it and I'm starting to become very confused he is still made at me for getting rid of his Child and he has had counseling for it but in the beginning we didn't make it because it was too close and there wastoo many neighbors in our business now he moved like 45 minutes away from me so what do I do he still like going to lunch but I really want him to shit or get off the pot pls help me in figuring out how to get this man to open up with me and tell me his true feelings
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): It's time to move on from him.
You made a decision that was right for you at the time. There's nothing you can do to change that and you should never let anyone make you feel guilty for taking responsibility and doing what you felt was the right thing to do.
At the stage an abortion would be done it is an embryo not a child. There are some ignorant people out there, take no notice.It's a controversial topic for some so there will be those who say things that'll hurt. But what's done is done. Regrets are a waste of energy and from what you've said I think this man is too.
Draw a line under your realationship with him. Get on with your life and give yourself some room to grieve for your loss. Good luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): For god's sake you dated him two years ago, there wasn't enough of a relationship there when you fell pregnant that you felt you could even count on the man to be there for you and you made a decision that was best for you.
By the way, you did not kill a child, you got rid of some cells in your uterus that had some DNA that was shared with him with the potential to be a child. Having that child may have killed your potential for a happy life and you have the right as a woman to make that decision for yourself.
But why are you still wasting your time picking around in these left over remains of a sexual fling? If it is because you think you did a dispicable thing and somehow that bonds you to this man you are wrong on both counts.
Move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): I think trust issue.Whose to say it won't happen again.By thirty or thirty five we usually figure out how to prevent getting pregnent.For the guy he may not feel it's worth it.I think he's off the pot and your in friend zone.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 December 2009):
 He's obviously not on the same page as you. You should NOT feel guilty about getting an abortion. It's horrible that he would make you feel guilty. It's your body, your decision. I bet if you had told him he would have tried to force you to have it. I'd move on, even if he forgives you he'll probably hold it over your head for the rest of your life.
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A
female
reader, tired of dating  +, writes (14 December 2009):
It sounds like you have created a trust issue. If he was really hurt by your actions then he probably feels that he can never trust you. Give him some time and don't pressure him into anything. Remember, trust is earned and you have alot of work to do to gain his trust back. How would you feel if you found out you had a child coming and before you got to meet him or her, they were killed by the person you loved? I hate to seem so volgar, but Im just trying to get you to put yourself in his position. If he truly loves you he will show you in his own way on his time, not yours, he has feelings too and men show their emotions in weird and confusing ways!!! Give him some time, if he loves you, you would feel it and you won't have to ask. GIVE HIM TIME. ALLOW HIM TO OPEN UP. PLEASE REMEMBER, YOU DID IT, NOT HIM.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): If you've asked him already and he hasn't given you an answer then I think it's pretty clear already. You want him to open up but maybe there's nothing for him to open up about? Either way you should move on with your life, chasing him isn't a good idea.
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