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age
41-50,
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writes: i am sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend that he cannot sleep with because of her religion. Anyways i am confused. people have told me that he is playing me and i think he is. he has said some really hurtful things to me like he loves her but he doesn't love me and it is totally devastating. i dont plan to sleep with him again but i can't stop calling him because i love him. i dream of ways to let his gf know that he is cheating on her. i am totally obssesed is there a way i can break them up. i have thought of telling her and then denying it is me. HELP!!!how can i make him love me and leave her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): oh dear, you are his mere f*ck buddy. that is all. the sooner yoyu realise this the better. have no illusions. he is using you FOR SEX, nothing else.
HE LOVES HIS GF, what don't you understand. be realistic. he is not allowed to have sex with his gf for religious reasons, instead of paying a prostitute he is using you. so you say him money and he gets off. wow, he has it made. then he goes off to the real woman he has feelings for. if you allow yourself to be used then don't expect any sympathy. learn to love yourself and value yourself, and please start closing those legs. you need to have some self respect first before someone else does.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): It is women like you that "cheating" exists. If you "really" want to make him hate her and love you, he won't. And in less than 10 years, you will taste many times over the devastation when "Karma" comes to collect from you for the hurt and pain you have inflicted on the innocent.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): I hate to break it to you but you are the "other women" in this love triangle.Lose lose situation .My advice would be to find a guy that isn't married or has a girlfriend already.You are providing a service for free here.Seems pretty obvious.
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (12 December 2009):
 ahhhaaaa! Yeah just do it and you will see what goes around comes around ... I can see this totally backfiring on you. or if you tear them apart oneday it'll totaly happen to you or something that you wont like.
He loves her, not you, and your just his sexual interest untill their time comes. this is a time bomb ticking away for you.
id move on, save your heart and find someone who'll love you and you alone.
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (12 December 2009):
Watch the movie Fatal Attraction--it sounds like you have the potential to be Glenn Close's character. Think about it, you don't want to be her, do you? Move on, he doesn't love you, he's using you. Get over it, obsessing over him is a little psycho, you can't make someone love you.
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (12 December 2009):
 Are you serious? If you are indeed 26-29 age and not 15 years old, you can only be just a little excused by such attitude because, as you say, you are obsessively in love with this man and love can blur your mind. This man apparently is using you just for sex. He has a relationship with this girl, despite she won't sleep with him. This translates to my mind that he cares for her and loves her (although disrespectful to her religion beliefs by sleeping with you, but that's another story). If you really want this man, I would say let him go and definitely don't sleep with him again. If he developed some feelings for you, time will show how much he missed you. Otherwise, there's not such thing in real world as MAKE him to love you. Best of luck!
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (12 December 2009):
If you were younger I'd be more sympathetic; but in this case, there is no other way but to tell you straight: he is using you as nothing more than his dustbin; a stepping stone to build his ego. A slag basically. He will never like you romantically. Guys are able to compartmentalise their feelings; they can have sex with someone and not even care. That's just the way it is. If you had any sense you would just cut communication by no longer being available to him suddenly and quietly move on with your life. If you do a big theatrical, break-up speech all you will do is serve as entertainment which he is bound to re-enact for his friends later for a huge laugh. So just cut comms and get on.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 December 2009):
 He clearly does not love you. If he did, he would be with you, not her. It doesn't really matter what the circumstances are here, if he loved you he would have broken up with her in heartbeat to be with you. He obviously just wanted to get laid. Also, do you really want to be with someone who cheats? He cheated on his gf with you, and if you were his gf, he'd probably cheat on you too. If you tell his gf, you'll just hurt her and make both their lives miserable. Do you really think that if you made them break up he'd want to be with you? No. As hard as it might be, you NEED to move on to someone better.
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (12 December 2009):
 Why people sometimes never learn?Why dont you try to let him go instead?NO BODY" as in no body can control anybody's feeling.You know the situation that he had a girlfriend thenand he is not lying to you about that.Youre just hurting yourself and making yourself down.Forget that question. the right question is'How can you learn to let go? Good luck anyway.
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female
reader, secret me  +, writes (12 December 2009):
Sorry but like all your friends i have to tell you i think he's using you and you know what it's the hardest thing in the world to except that someone you love soooo much doesn't feel the same way about you. i should know. but really from experience most (sorry guys) lads have a total different logic and way of thinking to us and it sucks because we'd do everything for them but you need to leave him alone if i was in your position i'd probably tell his gf aswel. it sounds like your doing what most girls do and blame the female in he situation but from you've said she more the victim then you and you should really tell her not to be spiteful but because it's the right thing to do. he should respect her religion and if he really cared about you he wouldn't being doing this. and if he does care about you if you leave him alone he might realise his feelings and get in contact not that i think you should respond. don't loose your self respect and pride keep your self busy and you'll pull through it :) xx
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male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (12 December 2009):
You can't be serious. How can you break them up so he'll date you? Do you really think this a the best foundation to start a relationship? Do you honestly think that he won't cheat on you? I'm a guy and I have never cheated on a gf and never will, but I have had my share of ladies who have made it apparent they don't care if I have a gf and just want to hook up. Move past this guy and find someone who cares for YOU more than just your vagina. And don't bother trying to let his gf know, it's his job as a man to fess up to his gf and tell her. Karma has a way of coming back around so get out now and let him deal with his mistakes. I obviously don't know you but I can guarantee that you are much better than this. And I know you deserve better.
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female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (12 December 2009):
 He does not love you, you can't MAKE a person love you, and right now you are not displaying loveable qualities that would endear anyone to you anayway, so I fancy your chances to be about, oh, ZERO!This guy was pretty clear that he loved another and your role was simply to fill in the gaps and be his sex toy. You consented to that, but if you no longer accept it then save some dignity and get out quietly. I guarantee you, that if you hurt his girlfriend by letting her know, he will be paid out in return and will be so angry and resentful towards you that he will wipe you off completely! Definately not the way to win his heart! I know you might be hurting, but the answer is not in hurting others. Suck it up and move on!
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