A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i was in a relationship with a girl that ended about 3 years ago, it was my longest relationship and most serious, we dated for about 2 1/2yrs. I didnt think i was happy with her, i thought i could find someone better, someone with which i was more physically attracted to. My ex isnt horrible ugly but i just wasnt attracted to her.We split and we both dated other people and im just realizing now that she was so perfect for me, she knew me, she was always there for me, she would never hurt me and we shared the same humor, favorite movies, foods, hobbies, etc..., we were basically the same person and i miss that.we are both single now and i do have a chance to get her back but i still dont find her physically attractive, how do i get over that? because besides that shes a wonderful girl!!
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female
reader, torngirl  +, writes (14 December 2009):
It sounds like you two get on great, why not make the most of it and carry on as friends, rather than risking losing it all? I'm sure she'd be really hurt to find out you're not attracted to her...i know i wouldnt want to be with someone who wasnt attracted to me, even if i was really into him. She deserves someone who fancies her as well as gets on well with her, and you deserve someone who you fancy! It sounds like you have the basis for a fab friendship, focus on that and maybe even getting dates for each other if you're both comfortable with that!
A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (12 December 2009):
 My friend... that is such a classic story, it happened to me numerous times. No matter how perfect she is for you, chemistry is absolutely a must for a healthy relationship. Of course as you get older and pass 30, some people would rather be in a relationship with a person with whom feel no attraction at all, rather than be alone and having to deal with the fear of ending up all alone in life. But I see you are not close to 30 so, there is still hope for you, don't compromise yet and try to find someone who combines the package great personality and attractive to you. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, D0LLFaCe +, writes (12 December 2009):
U can find a Gorgeous Girl that yu jus think is perfect and when yu get with there's nothin there.. Its better to be with someone that's okay and treats yu like a king or be with a hot girl that doesn't give a damn about you .. looks r only skin deep
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 December 2009):
 I may get yelled at a lot for what I'm about to say, it may sound shallow or horrible, but you can be perfect for each other on paper. If you don't have that spark, you will never work. It's not about how pretty they are or whatever, there are just certain people you have chemistry with. You want their body and crave them like a drug and it has nothing to do with personality (or even looks sometimes). I once dated a guy who was STUNNINGLY good looking, every girl on the street would check him out. We got along really well and had all the same interests, but there was no chemistry whatsoever so the relationship never went anywhere. Personality is a lot easier to change, but if that spark isn't there, you probably shouldn't pursue it. It may be comfortable, but you'll never have that "thing" that keeps people together and makes something last.
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A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (12 December 2009):
 wow, this is hard to answer. If you can bare to look at her, you know, find something that you DO find good looking about her, go with that, focus on that all the time. I mean if you love her, then her looks shouldnt matter
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A
female
reader, griffingirl +, writes (12 December 2009):
beauty is on the inside. u dont have to love her body to love her.
look at all the good things about her: her hair, nose, face, little things that come together to form a physically attractive girl
hope this helps
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