A
female
age
30-35,
*abygirl021
writes:Is it just me or when men don't get something to do with sex they go in a mood and blame their partner. My boyfriends likes bum fun, we tried it but it really hurt me. but he doesn't seem too realise that cause of the pain i dont want it. and he always texts me asking me for it, then says there is no point i never get it. then goes in a mood and falls out with me. is it just me?thanks. x
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, babygirl021 +, writes (15 June 2010):
babygirl021 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your comments they have really helped. =) now lets just see if he is a kid.x
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Why is that women even bother to be with these kind of guys?
Your question has a very simple answer:
because you let him get away with it.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 He's caring about two people. Him and his penis, not him and you. He's being very immature. I'm not sure where the anal sex craze came from, but it's very popular in porn so I maybe there? Either way guys don't seem to realize how much it can hurt, they only think of what it can do for them. He sounds like a pretty selfish lover to me. Stand up for yourself. He has no right to be picking fights because you won't do something that hurts.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): Your body.. You decide what is going in it!.. Don't do it or feel pressured as he will only want more. Nip it I. The bud,,, if it's something he wants he may have a sexual addiction and it could get worse. You stick to your guns and repect your body... If he is sad and having a issue then it's his issue. I'd he loves you... He has to repect you also.. That means he has to be able to listen to your side and relise that you are not willing.. Even if it caused you no pain.. You were just disgusted.. Then you should not put your feelings down and walk on you. If he won't listen to you about this,, then maybe you should move on before bigger problems emerge. If he has a sexual addiction to this... He might end up feeding it on the Internet and will create a resentment towards you. He is being selfish and you both have to sit down and talk about this now before it creates a wedge. Some men will feel a gap missing when they can't fulfill this need. But it's in thier head.. They should relise that they must control there thoughts before it controls them. If affriad if this is not sorted out now.. Then he will eventually go eles where to fulfill this need.. Speak with him and see if he is willing to work on him self. If he says if you love me you will do this for me.. Them simply reply that in order to love someone eles to the fullest I have to love my self first.. That means respe t your body and mentality.. Stay strong... If you see he is not listening to you the. Save your self years of being with him before you realise he won't change. He has some growing up to to.. Just make sure you keep repecting your self and hopefully he will also in time. Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (8 June 2010):
Like the others have said, it's to do with his age and inexperience in relationships and sex. As well as going off in a mood, he has made the mistake of making the whole sex something you should be giving to him. Generally when guys are more experienced they have learnt to not make sex seem it is something they "have" off women. Women tend to be much more receptive to sex when they don't feel like it is some form of act they are having to give to their boyfriend.
Tell your boyfriend you aren't going to put up with his moods. Tell him getting moody is really unattractive and it turns you off sex. That should help him realise that he's being a little boy about it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Hippieman182 +, writes (8 June 2010):
 You need to put him in his place and make it known that he can't always get what he wants especially if its hurting you. He's being really selfish and needs to grow up. ask to do him anally and see if he likes it aye? :P
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 June 2010):
 I think next time you should say "Yeah, let's do anal!" and then ram a huge dildo up his ass. :P
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 I think what you mean is boys rather than men.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 Sorry Hun, but your bf is just thinking with his 'little' head! All that matters to him is having anal sex and is not considering your feelings at all.
Remember it is YOUR body, if you dont want to do something, well then, dont do it - and if he cannot respect that... well then STOP sharing your body with him!
Honeygirl
...............................
A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (8 June 2010):
 I wouldn't generalise it as being something all or even most men do. It is part of growing up to realise that we don't always get what we want or that to get what we want, we may need to try other tactics that aren't quite so whiny and childish.
It is also part of growing up to realise that showing your partner respect is more important than throwing a hissy fit. I would be very concerned if my partner were so intent on having his way sexually that he was willing to disrespect my wishes, ignore my discomfort, and put our relationship happiness in danger.
There are all sorts of ways to make anal more enjoyable for both of you, but I would be less inclined--as I rather think you would be--to consider these options considering how little your partner is taking into account your feelings. I would suggest talking to him rationally and calmly about your feelings; if he is unable to understand after that how his actions make you feel, it may be time for you to have a real ponder over the way he engages with this relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, tonydsd +, writes (8 June 2010):
NO! Its not you, its him. if he cant respect what you dont like, then theres an issue. you should tell him to respect u more, and should stop asking because there is no point.
Its not something to fall out on, because its so minute an issue in a relationship. You should really take control of this situation and stand up for yourself. I mean he woudnt like it if u asked him for somethin he doesnt like.
...............................
|
