A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im a 14 year old girl. I met my boyfriend a year ago and have been going out with him since but we have broken up 3 times but got back together. It may sound like a childish relationship but i no that its not. Iv had silly little boyfriends in my past but this boy is just different. I love everything about him but none of my friends seem 2 like him especially my best friend , i have 2 meet him on days when i dont see her becos they dont get along, everytime iv broken up with him its been because they have argued and my mum thinks hes 2 quiet. I dont meen 2 sound 'bitchy' but my bestfriend has always got involed in my life 2 much, i always have 2 do things with her and she gets anoied if i plan 2 meet my bf ant not invite her .I know he can be quiet and maybe a bit rude towards other people buh when its just me and him hes amazing. Hes so nice 2 me and makes me feel so special. Anyway i go 2 an all girls school and they dont really loose there virginity until there in year 10 ( im at the end of year nine but the oldest in my year ) and even if they do they dont mention it but my boyfriends in year 10 goes 2 a mixed school and all the girls there have already lost there virginity. But dont get me rong my boyfriend respects me when i have said that i dont want 2 loose my virginity yet and he has said that he wil wait for me, but now i think im ready because i feel strongley that hes the one i want 2 loose it with but im worried about a few things... 1) my bestfriend always says things like 'argh ur not doin anything with him'.'ur not marrying him'(not that im saying i will becos im young) ect.. so if i do loose it with him she will say things like that but i feel like i have 2 tell her because if i dont she wil find out some how and say im out of order for not telling her, and 2) im scared of getting pregnant! ofcourse id use a condom and my boyfriend would be ok with that but what if it split? my mum would go mad at me. I also have no idea about the pill and would be too embaresed 2 ask 2 have the pill. Sorry 2 blaab on but please help if you can :)
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best friend, condom, got back together, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Elydiese +, writes (19 June 2010):
The fact that you're asking shows that you know you're too young
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): uhu, you'll regret it and it's clear you're already having doubts!!
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Ahhhhhh.... does anybody else here long for the days of a 14 year old girl's biggest problem being gum stuck in their hair???
This is crazy. 14 years old is too young for sex. I've said this before, and I'll say this again - sexual intercourse is meant for reproduction. At 14 years old, a female's body hasn't gone through the changes yet needed for sex, and child reproduction. You need to finish developing first. Sex now will be uncomfortable, painful, and well... not enjoyable.
The legal ages setup by law are there for your protection.... not to be an annoyance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): You are 14 years old! if you two are really meant to be then you can wait a year or two till your at a more decent age.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (15 June 2010):
 I lost my virginity when i was 14 :/ broke up with him a few times before it happened and got back together. he then dumped me 4 months later. no matter how much they say their never gonna leave you. at this age. he will and you will be heartbroken. Please dont make the same mistake i made. im nearly 16 now and really regret it.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (15 June 2010):
 You are probably not going to like this, but yes, you are far too young.
Ok, as you are in the UK, the LAW states that it is ILLEGAL for anyone under the age of 16 to have sex.
That includes, fingering, handjobs, oral sex, blow jobs, or vaginal or anal penetration. Basically ANYTHING sexual is ILLEGAL.
At 14, you are unable to give consent to any of these acts, and it would be classed as RAPE. Regardless of if you say yes and want it to happen. It will still be RAPE.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/sex_relationships/sex/age_of_consent/
http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2003/ukpga_20030042_en_2#pt1-pb5-l1g9
These laws are put in place to protect children - there are many adults out there who would easily take advantage of a girl your age. So dont rebel against them. The are there for a purpose.
If your boyfriend truly loves you, then he will wait until you are 16, and legal. Once you reach that age, NO ONE can stop you pursuing a sexual relationship, and neither of you will get into trouble.
Now, I know you think that all the girls in yr 10 have lost their virginities and are having rampant sex. They are all telling porkie pies. Teenagers will tell you anything if they think it will make them cool, and look like they are doing something daring and exciting.
Just because you think they have all had sex, and they are bragging they have, really doesnt mean they are. In fact,t he more they brag about it, the less inclined I would be to believe them. Dont be fooled by peer pressure. In 5 years time do you want to be a single mum with a toddler? Its up to you.
You say you are too embarassed to ask about the pill. This tells me you are not ready for sex. If you cant ask about something as important as contraception, then you are not mature enough for the consequences of sex. Are you prepared to get pregnant? Accidents happen. Sex is what makes babies. If you cant ask about the pill or about condoms, how would you cope telling your parents that you were pregnant?
My suggestion, is wait until you are 16. Learn about all the contraceptive methods, pill, condom, patch, injection, IUD, coil, implant. Then learn about all the infections and diseases you could get. Then work out how you would cope if you got pregnant.
You say you love him and are grown up - now is your chance to prove it. Do the mature and grown up thing, and WAIT until you are legal. Dont do something rash, rush into this, and do something which in a years time you will regret.
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A
female
reader, Volleyball6 +, writes (15 June 2010):
You have to make sure ur in a stable relationship and he likes you for who you are cause boys are hornballs and any guy can say they love you after you let them have sex. Be smart about your
choice.
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A
female
reader, leo3 +, writes (15 June 2010):
 you shouldn't worry about what your "best friend" will think. your sex life is none of her buisness and unless you are sleeping with her boyfriend you should not feel guilty. as for 14 being too young that is up to you. if you feel you are ready then go for it if you still have doubts about it then wait. i dont believe that one has to be inlove with the person they lose their virginity to, i wasn't, but sex is different for everyone. so take some time to really think about what you want and if you think you are ready.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 June 2010):
 I can barely understand your question, but yes 14 is too young. When your friends don't like your boyfriend it's generally for a good reason. Also, don't let your friend pressure you into it. He said he'll wait for you, so wait until you're older and more mature. You sound like you don't really want to either, but like I said with all the 2's and typos I could barely understand your question.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (15 June 2010):
 You are to young to be thinking about having sex. I urge you to wait till your older and when You know what you want to do. There is nothing worst than giving your virginity away to someone and find yourself regret it in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): yes, you are too young.
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