A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have this friend who I've known for a few years now and I'm pretty sure that when we first met we both had crushes on each other. Nothing ended up happening and by this point we're good friends. We both just graduated college and she is now deciding which grad school to attend. She has a boyfriend but from the way she has been talking lately that might not last if she doesn't pick the school that he is going to next year.I know that she and I both find each other physically attractive. I have been so sexually attracted to her lately and I have been fantasizing about her a lot. I don't want anything serious and she knows that very well (she was one of my room mates last year). I want to suggest fooling around to her but I'm not sure if that's a good idea or how to go about bringing it up. How should I approach the subject and what should I say?
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crush, has a boyfriend, roommate, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPerson 12345 Well I wouldn't try anything while she has a bf...I actually like the guy but I figure that if she is going to dump him at some point then I'll go from there.
Soon567 what is your problem? I never planned on deceiving her or telling her I wanted anything more than I did. I take offense at your tone because apparently you seem to think that all sex HAS to be about love and two adults are incapable of having sex without it being something special. Sex is fun and just because it's better when you have feelings for the person doesn't mean you can't make the conscious decision to have sex purely for enjoyment.
Next time someone asks for advice please don't resort to insulting them purely because they don't agree with you. You know nothing about me...for instance the last girl I was with I dated casually and I told her right up front what the situation was, that I don't want a relationship right now because it's not what's best for where my life is at. We discussed the situation like adults and she was fine with keeping things casual. So next time if all you are going to do is insult me please just mind your own business and don't bother answering at all.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 June 2010):
 I wouldn't try anything while she still has a boyfriend. Even if they don't last, she's still with him and still has feelings for him. Even if she's attracted to you and thinks what she has with her boyfriend might not last, it's still lasting for now. The best thing right now would be to wait until the either leaves her boyfriend or goes to him. I know you're super attracted to her, but it's better to live with that than get rejected or make her cheat on someone. Plus you don't even want a lasting thing, just to fool around.
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