A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How can I prove to my wife I am not, and have never cheated on her? Recently my wife found out I had been looking at porn, it is something we had agreed not to do in the past, argued about in the past, and for some reason I looked at it again (I am not sure what made me look at it again, what I do know is that I got no great satisfaction from it, felt guilty about it, and hate that I did it knowing how it makes my wife feel). The problem is that now she is convinced I am cheating on her, or have cheated on her. Every time I feel like we make some progress over looking at porn, she comes up with these ideas that I am cheating on her and we are back to square one. I can understand why she does not trust me, but I cannot understand why she is so convinced there is someone else in my life. She knows where I am all the time, my social life is non existent as I love to be home with my family more than being anywhere else. I have told her that just because I looked at the porn, it does not mean I do not want her. I no longer have my own laptop so have no access to even look at porn, have given her passwords to all websites that I visit etc, but she still keeps thinking there is someone else. There is not. What should I do? just be patient? Is there anything I can say to her?
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female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (27 June 2010):
 I find this issue extremely irritating! Porn is fantasy and has no validity in the world of cheating unless you have someone actually sending you pictures/videos/erotic e-mails/whatever. Casually looking at porn from time to time is no crime. If it interferes with your life and is an addiction, I can see why she might get upset. However, if this is just casual usage, as I think it is, then do not feel so horrible!It sounds like your wife has a very narrow mind and a poor body image, perhaps? Talk to her about it. Ask why it makes her so uncomfortable. Chances are she feels inferior to the physicality and adventurous nature of the the girls on the screen. The only way to help this situation is to uplift her and try to make her believe that not only do you love her, but you adore her and are also attracted to every bit of her. Compliment her! Now, honestly, I think she needs a bit of a reality check. Like I said, porn is just fantasy. For her to not trust you and punish you like a child by taking away your things and monitoring your every activity is quite obsessive, in my opinion. Talk to her, but, above all, just remember what you did wasn't as horrid as it is being made out to be. It's not like you cheated on her or murdered someone!
A
male
reader, Zorba +, writes (25 June 2010):
Zorba has been married for 51 years.At one time or other we watched sex Porn,it created a atmosphere that helped both of us to enjoy sex.it was so good,her friend was a lesbian,we both were raised in two ways,she always had family,money,went to a lot of wholesome benefits,Me,I was "poor",honest-hard working-I was good-ol-boy.my wife enjoyed so much,she shared me with her girl fiend.SO to solve your problem:sit down--hold her hand-create a calm situation-Look her in the eyes-and just tell her it a release from the pressure your daily routine,ask her to have some sweet wine/a drink and invite her to join you,it will relax her,smile,laugh put her in a position to Just want to be loved---mutter sweet nothings.take it easy-you have to clime the mountain first.Zorba
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): No it changed after they looked at porn. They rated their partners much higher before they had looked at porn. Nothing about their partners had changed, it had nothing to do with their partner. They carefully controlled for that. They asked general questions about their sex lives, like how often they had sex versus how they felt about how often. The amount and type of sex didn't change, but the satisfaction with both got significantly lower in almost all participants. It didn't get higher in any. The group that watched non-sexual non-violent movies didn't generally rate their partners differently.
And sure, we all notice attractive people in our day to day lives. But we aren't having orgasms while watching them. Even if you're fantasizing about someone else, it doesn't have the same effect porn does and you're not really seeing them. It's your imagination, so you aren't really seeing them naked or having sex. You're imagining it. It's not common to hear of someone breaking up with their partner because they look at other attractive women on the streets, but it's very common to hear of relationships breaking up over porn.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 "I have to agree with Cecelia the influence of porn on sexual relationships is harmful." (Marialatin)
Now I really am confused....
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 June 2010):
"This is not atrivial act it is uncomfortable, smelly, taste bad. But women do it out of love for a short time. why do women stop giving bj - because our love tank goes to empty fast" (marialatin)
Again, it is not good to generalise and try to speak for all women. Many women love giving blow jobs, just as many men loving giving oral sex to their partners too.
You reveal your own hangup's and prejudices rather than speaking about a universal truth... I'd rather not be included in discussions about how "All Women Feel"...
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I guess really the intimacy is lost when one partner has a problem with it and the other views. It kills one partner's view of the other. It especially takes away the intimacy (I'd think from both sides) when one partner lies about it. You're right, in relationships it's not so much a porn issue as a loss of intimacy.And yes. Children are VERY impressionable, even as teens. The average age of first exposure is 11. I didn't even have breasts at that age, let alone the maturity to comprehend the stuff. I mean most of these kids haven't even hit puberty and probably most haven't had any sort of romance/physical anything with the other gender yet. It would definitely influence things.And it didn't seem to detract from their partners when seeing beautiful women in other settings, but the only other place they looked was in action movies. It would be an interesting study, but honestly I just don't want to know the answer to that one. Mostly the men felt this after masturbating to porn. Don't forget, an orgasm is the most powerful positive reinforcement there is. They found too that men who habitually used it (not to addiction levels) just in general were less satisfied with their partners, with looks, personality, and in bed.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 June 2010):
To True SincerlyYours...
Dear Poster, you broke your promise, and will probably break it again. Please never look at pornography in your home where you wife lives. This type of thing upset her. All you can do is appologise, and appologise again. If you ever feel the urge for pornography, then go out and buy a magazine and sit in your car, or go watch a sexy movie instead, or even better, wake you wife up and say that you need some loving...
It's silly to get caught doing these things... be carefull if you can't give up, next time she really might leave.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): Anon,
Like the below poster said, just because porn doesn't fit your definition of cheating, it fits slightly over half the female population's definition (not all thought cheating, but bothered). Therefore it's not a completely illogical jump to assume, lying to me about the porn, cheating on me with the porn, to cheating on me with a person, lying about a person. Yeah it's irrational, but she's upset and he did break her trust, again. Like everyone said, he doesn't need to do anything else other than give her some time to get over the shock of finding porn again when he said he wouldn't look. Oh and he just needs to stop. Don't forget too, this is his take on the situation. She's probably not acting as over the top as it sounds and the amount he seems to be bending over backwards probably isn't as totally all-consuming and energy sucking as it sounds. You should take everyone's description of their partners and situations with a grain of salt.
P.S. Celia, I typed out the answers to your questions far below in case you didn't see them.
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (23 June 2010):
 Ah, well I was just responding to one or two posters. This is quite a messy thread. It seems like it's gotten fairly out of hand.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 June 2010):
"The world doesn't work one way just because you want it to."
Exactly.. that's the whole point..
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): "The world doesn't work one way just because you want it to."
True, but it sounds like the poster's wife wants the world to work the way she wants it to work with little regard for his feelings. She has jumped to the conclusion that watching porn=her husband is having sex with other women. He may have broken her trust, blah, blah, blah, but her reasoning is illogical, unfair, and she's punishing him for a crime he didn't commit.
How many times does he have to apologize before she gets that he's not having sex with another woman?
He got rid of the porn; what more can he do to convince her of his fidelity?
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (23 June 2010):
EXCUSE me posters, but "cheating" is defined by personal boundries drawn by a couple. Just because you don't consider something cheating doesn't mean no one does. Open your minds!
I don't watch porn, my husband doesn't watch porn. I have once, he never has. Neither of us believe that it is right, especially in a relationship. If I watched it, he would feel as if I cheating on him.
The world doesn't work one way just because you want it to.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 June 2010):
If that is the case, then that means that approximately 1 in 5 women consume porn.....And like you mentioned before, half of women are accepting of porn. (Celiaaletta)
Even with these figures, it suggests that the majority of women, and an absolute majority of people (men and women) do not have an issue with pornography.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 June 2010):
"Oh and the porn industry is NOT a reliable source"
You are absolute right.. but in the UK, reliable figures comes from sales companies, who do report increased women using pornography.
In the UK, we have Anne Summers which sells pornography, sex toys and sexy underware mostly for women.. However, we now have many other companies that deal in sex and adult entertainment, including male strippers (Chippendales) and Sex Exhibitions (sales of adult sex stuff) .. going by the sales alone, it is silly to say that women are not increasingly becoming interested in pornography.
Sometimes this conversations seems to be very North American, as it dose not seem to take account of the more relaxed attitude to sexuality and nudity that we have in Europe.
Pornography, sex and nudity is very common on British TV and it's magazines, and is referenced in normal everyday language by most people.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 June 2010):
Oh and the porn industry is NOT a reliable source. They can't give any real numbers, they just sort of spread rumors about it and vaguely speculate in interviews to make it seem like porn is now cool among women. But polls of real women show a very different picture. In fact a large portion of the women who supposedly watch weren't watching at all, they were looking for the porn their boyfriends were watching (not to masturbate to, to see what he was up to, usually in a bad sense). Porn is still mostly a male thing. Almost all porn is male-centric and that's not really changing. There are some slight changes, but not enough to say more women are really watching.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): "I would imagine that most people would agree with me that an orgasm is a wonderful thing. Porn facilitates an orgasm, is that not a "benefit" of use?"
Sure orgasms are fantastic. Other things facilitate orgasm too though, things that aren't harmful (and some that are). Even exposure to small amounts of softcore porn made men rate their female partners as significantly less attractive than before viewing. It's like saying cocaine facilitates happiness so it's good. I know you're super pro-porn, but just because people like it doesn't make it any less harmful. It took YEARS of research and studies and arguing to convince people smoking was harmful. People said a lot of the same things and said they didn't believe the studies and that studies weren't conclusive. But now it's pretty common knowledge that smoking increases lung cancer risk and is addictive. There are still naysayers though. To the female anon, yes you're right, the stories and anecdotal stuff here should be enough to show that, oh hey this isn't a problem with women being uptight. Something's actually going on. But science is backing it too. However, the data is NOT inconclusive or not widespread enough or badly done. Sure some is badly done, but that's the case with everything. There are a lot more data showing negative correlations with porn than studies showing porn is neutral (notice how there aren't really any that show it's good) and most of the studies are thorough. I've actually had to answer several of the polls in college asking about it and have stumbled across them on websites a lot. I did one for a big research institution actually.
"How is any one to know for certain if the results depend on a group not yet here?
Are they merely speculating?"
No, they're not. They have done pretty intensive studies looking at how adolescents who have been exposed young actually have a lot of trouble or find it not worth it to after real girls, as well many young boys find it acceptable to physically "coerce" girls into sex. 47% of boys from a public school who responded that they watched more than 2 hours a week in London answered that it was either OK or they weren't sure if it was OK to hold a girl down and have sex with her. Girls are also having problems, doing things they absolutely shouldn't be doing at their age and doing things they aren't actually ready for but do at the request of boys. A lot of the girls weren't even aware they were supposed to enjoy sex, quite a few thought it was only about the guy's pleasure. We haven't seen what's going to happen when these kids reach an age where they should start seeking out long term partners, but psychologists, parents, etc... are very worried.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): I wish people wouldn't quote percentages, figures etc. Nobody knows the real answer, that's a given. I've certainly never seen a consensus asking me if I masturbate to porn?? Or whether I watch it, etc, etc.
I actually believe porn is harmful, but that is based from anecdotal evidence (you;ve only got to read the posts on this site to realise, houston, we have a problem). Plus my own personal experience. That's all you have in the end because I'm fairly sure this is still a taboo subject with some people so the chances of people being up front about their useage is pretty slim!! Just go with your gut instinct.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 June 2010):
Recently. Some in 2005, most this year or last year though. It seems the numbers haven't changed much since around 2004. The only number that's changing is numbers of addictions, which is rising. It's now estimated that 15% of men who use pornography have addictions. I don't know the exact number, but the number of women addicted is somewhere between 3-5%, but I can't remember where I got that number. They were expecting the number of women using porn to pretty much explode, but it's only been creeping up. The only industry saying the numbers of women viewing are actually rising is the porn industry. It makes sense that her friends and her would, as usually your friends and you and similar. The Witherspoon institute just released a report from 54 experts in different fields related to pornography use. In the report it basically says they found absolutely no benefits to anyone using pornography and that especially among the next generation the results of use were harmful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): The Kinsey Institute, various polls from MSNBC, Elle Magazine, and other magazines and networks, as well as several books and studies written by women's studies professors and universities. The lowest I've seen for women generally bothered by their partner's porn usage was 47% the highest around 55%. For women who use porn themselves the average is around 15% of women, but I've seen numbers as high as 30%, but only from tabloid style newspapers and they found that a rather large portion of that was actually women trying to find out what their partners were up to. According to Robert Jensen, one of the leading professors studying the issue, the lowest number he's been given for percentage of all pornography consumed by men was 80%, meaning only 20% was consumed by women.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): OP do not tell her you weren't getting something you needed, she will either leave you or kill herself. And definitely don't keep lying.Like everyone else said, give her time and everything should be fine. And to prettygirlonguitar, maybe your friends. But only about half of women are even OK with their partners doing it. The number who do it themselves is quite a bit lower.
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female
reader, PrettyGirlOnGuitar +, writes (20 June 2010):
I think you're from the older generation. Our generation, all girls I know look at porn and masturbate (straight women, anyway) we do it more than the guys do sometimes haha.
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male
reader, twinlab99 +, writes (19 June 2010):
 Explain it was the fantasy of porn, and nothing more. and that you did it because you're not getting something with her.......she'll hate you for it yes.....and then you have to explain that you want to watch it with her....to show her it aint that bad......watch something that would turn her on first....and then do it to her.....make it her night......
If that doesn't work........ there are porn apps for mobile phones.....you're gonna have to sneak around that....
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): you both agreed not to use porn. You broke that promise and lied to her. She has every right not to trust you. You broke her trust and it won't come back by magic. It will take time to work on, you will have to be commited to doing so. If you fully intend to stop and know you can your wife will regain her trust again, buit not without alot of reassurance. I really hope the 2 of you work it out.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 June 2010):
 That would be: sayING what IS
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 June 2010):
So, let's go here: this is about threat level. A potential exists, in the Poster's wife's mind that his looking at another woman via porn constitutes a threat lurking in his mind, this translates into "he's considering it". This threat translates further into : "he cheated!" In that mind set, it's a short, easy jump to infidelity. I'm say what IS, not what's right or rationale.
Consider: Us girls can window shop and like it, Guys usually hate it. In this mindset, he's "window shopping", hunting around for the perfect pair of shoes to try on.
Yes? No?
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 June 2010):
I DID say "within that rationale" That's all this subject of debate boils down to: rationale.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): Unless said dildo is made from a plaster cast of hubby's penis, using a.dildo is cheating.
If the dildo has another man's picture on the box it came in (lol, "box it came in") that woman is a cheater.
Poster, does your wife own a dildo? If so you can totally debate this issue.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 June 2010):
So..because we don't sport on-board equipment that makes us..umm....less or something like that?
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 June 2010):
I believe some, (ok, a lot) of women actually do see this as cheating, actually. In that rational, a woman's use of a vibrator or dildo would qualify as cheating as well. Same ends, different means. I believe this to be a circular argument.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): It's funny, I am always amazed that people do something that makes them feel guilty! It is not your wife at that point that made you feel guilty, because she didn't know about it then. So, the guilt came from you. A lot of men have quoted that they often feel guilty looking at porn, and in fact when I got together with my partner, I found out about one year in to our relationship that he had gotten rid of a personal porn stash - which I didn't even know about. So, he obviously "felt guilty" too and later fessed up. Let's just analyse that fact. Where does the guilt come from? I guess it's because on some basic level you know it is WRONG. From all the posts on here and my own personal experience, I am aware that porn affects a lot of relationships and not always in a positive way. And yes, I love to clang one off but I do so with my imagination now, and I always imagine my partner in the scenario - that gets me really hot. Hell, he's a hot guy. I've also looked at porn and guess what, I felt guilty too. It feels somehow seedy scanning the net to watch some poor sods bang one out. Yes, I found it a turn on, but no, I don't need it and I don't understand men and women's desire for it either. I keep hearing that men are visual, blah, blah, but in fact sex involves all the senses (taste/sight/touch/hearing) in an all round sensual way. Your limiting yourself if you just choose one of your senses.
Good luck giving up the porn and you and your wife really need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Tell her how you feel and listen to how she feels. It might be tough, but it's worth doing. Good luck x
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Some women think that if you think it you did it! I don't get that but I know my wife thinks that way. If I look at a women's clevage at a party and she sees me then I may as well have felt her up or something. Paranoia I assume?
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (18 June 2010):
 You've apologized profusely.
You've given up your laptop.
You've surrendered all of your passwords.
You've given up a life outside of your family.
The only thing you haven't done is stuck your penis in another woman. That, and told her to shut the eff up and get over it.
Have you tried telling her to shut the eff up and get over it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): Porn isn't cheating. Your wife is trying to control your sexuality and further castrate you to keep you under her control. I agree with the poster that said this is a form of domestic violence.
You should never feel ashamed of expressing your sexuality to your partner in any way. Pornography can be a great tool for maintaining much needed autonomy is a relationship. It can also be a great tool for couples to become engaged with each other.
Is porn cheating? ridiculous. By that rationale, using a dildo is cheating, too.
I hope you manage to reclaim yourself in this situation. Its not good.
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female
reader, LolaCherryCola +, writes (17 June 2010):
I work for a Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Prevention and Outreach Agency. Every day I work on prevention and outreach materials which list the causes, effects, and descriptions of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.
Everything you listed above (having no privacy, isolated from friends, harassing about imagined affairs, etc.) falls under the category of Domestic Violence. DV is not just physical or sexual, it can be verbal and emotional, which can be just as damaging as physical violence.
Yes, women can be abusive, and yes, it is more likely that women will be emotionally and verbally abusive. You do not seem to have a porn addiction from your description, but your wife does fit the diagnosis for an abusive partner.
Don't believe me?
www.projectwomanohio.org
www.endabuse.org
www.loveisrespect.org
www.loveisnotabuse.com
www.domesticviolence.org
Or a quick Google search.
So maybe next time your wife accuses you of cheating, you should sling an accusation of Domestic Violence right back at her. That should level the playing ground -- right now, it sounds like she thinks she's right and you're wrong, and you're willing to bend over backwards to make peace. This is illustrated by the control she's wielding over you. Accusations of cheating are not necessarily DV, but harassment, isolation, and control are forms of abuse. She's just going to keep setting the limbo bar lower and lower and the expectations higher and higher.
Personally, I look at porn. And masturbate. And I'd probably be more likely to accuse a lover of cheating who never looked at porn and never masturbated. I know that I'm a capable lover, but I also know that sex drives and schedules don't always match up. I wouldn't want to keep my lover from enjoying themselves just because I was tired or at work. And I know that I would want to masturbate without them, as much as they would want to masturbate without me, for more reasons than just sex -- sometimes, it's just nice to be in touch with your own body. If they never masturbated, I think the temptation would be greater to find someone else to sleep with and get their rocks off. If they're not masturbating, then they probably *have* found someone else!
That's my unprofessional, but highly researched and radical, sexually-liberated feminist opinion.
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female
reader, niccy +, writes (17 June 2010):
 you love your wife and she loves you. I know its hard for you but she doesnt trust you as you broke your promise about going on it. Some women see looking at porn as cheating. She is obviously very insecure, if i were you i'd sit down with her and talk about why you went on it, what you think and feel when you go on it and just be honest.She probably thinks you compare her making her feel worthless and pathetic. I dont agree that she's being a bitch i personally think shes just doing that to save herself from getting hurt and becoming ill. Maybe you two should look at going to therapy together or something?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): "So maybe next time the controlling bitch accuses you of cheating" I don't think that was called for. She's hurt too. Is she being unreasonable? Maybe. But at the same time he broke a promise too (and apparently not the first time with this) and hurt her. He lied/broke trust, so she doesn't trust him. I'd hardly say accusing him of cheating after he lied qualifies as domestic violence or that it's called for to call her a controlling bitch. I don't think either party is totally innocent.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 June 2010):
I agree, it's tricky. I think for her it all boils down to the fact that to her porn is cheating. I think it's tremendous of you to be so willing to try not to use porn because you know it hurts her and she should be happy with how much you try. Obviously you care about her. I think you may just need to give her some time to calm down about the issue. How much porn are we talking about here? are we talking like a few times one week, or like using it again for several months? Why did you look again if you had sworn off it? It sounds like this has been a reoccurring issue with you guys. So you have to understand that she feels your looking has broken a trust, and from the sound of it a trust that has been broken several times. When she found this out, she probably wondered what else you were lying about. Maybe it you put a filter on the computer so that only she has the password she'd feel calmer about the situation and so you wouldn't be tempted to look. I bet once this calms down she'll drop the cheating thing. She just needs some time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): Well, she feels like shes not enough. Like you need to look at another woman naked, having sex, to feel satisfied which i know you said you did not get great satisfaction from, But this obviously makes her feel insecure of herself maybe bring up self esteem issues. She probably feels you are disrespecting her. And when you think about it people look at porn to feel aroused, fantasize, masturbate etc. Trust me I Only want my husband to feel aroused because of me, fantasize about me, and never have the need to masturbate because he has me to fulfill all his fantasies. I would just like her, disapprove of my husband watching porn. But i wont blame it all on you. Maybe she needs to put some zest into your sexual relationship. Maybe she needs to be more creative and use her wonderful female charm more often. Because married life can get monotonous. You should tell her you looked at porn because of foolish curiosity and ignorance but that you know what you have with her and cherish it. And try and promise her to never look at porn again. Because you now know it is disrespectful to a wife to look at porn. And that you now understand her. Try to make her laugh and look for ways to let her now that you love her and her only. Like random flowers or a candy she likes or simply a letter with a list of all the things you like from her from every inch of her body to every aspect of her personality (leave the ones you dont like out jaja) If you guys have kids and they find their dad looks at porn that wont even make sense to kids! Trust me, my dad watched porn and it really confused me. I was so mad with him because Im a girl and there he was looking at other girls naked bodies. And for some reason i felt it was offensive. I didnt understand why he would do that if my mom was there. But now i know marriage is complicated but you can do things to not fall into monotony and porn watchers jaja. Listen maybe you guys can even tape yourselves and hide it (very well) and watch it later see if that turns you on. Just a crazy thought, something i myself would try but the most important thing is to try something new. Keep laughter close and maybe some wine too. I hope you can enjoy your married life more. You guys really should! Blessings!
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 June 2010):
 This one will be tricky for you, because in your wife's mind, you are cheating when you masturbate to other women's bodies. She believes that if you have the weakness to turning on porn and being sexually gratified that way, what's to stop you from going to some bar when she's out of town and picking up a random woman?
She is shattered by your porn habit, and shattered that it came up after you had the previous fight. She doesn't fully understand that it's an addiction that you have battled from puberty (I'm assuming!) to now, and that temptation lies in wait for you for your entire life.
She is also comparing herself to the women that you are seeing in porn. Comparing her looks, her sexual creativeness, the amount of sex she gives you (who can compare to the fantasy nymphomaniacs that want you 24/7?) and a host of other things. She probably thinks that when she fails you as a wife, you run to the superior (in her mind) sexual release - the porn.
You have to explain what the struggle of porn addiction puts you through. Tell her in ways that she can understand. If she has a shopping addiction, or temper/rage issues, or another weakness you know of that she has a weak will over (like maybe chocolate or smoking) and tell her that that is what porn is like.
Tell her that a guy's mind doesn't think of porn like a girl does, that it's random images and fantasies that he doesn't compare to his wife. Though I'm sure you've already talked to her about that.
The other bit is just time. You've done the right thing by being transparant with her. Make sure you're letting her parental lock the cable boxes too, because you and I both know that there's more porn than just the computer. A porn addict (or any addict) will go to great lengths to service their addiction.
Just be patient with her. Maybe direct her to sites about porn addiction so she can educate herself about it. You're doing the right thing by making her part of the fight against it.
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