A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do i tell my dad that i used to cut myself? Ok i know that its bad and that i shouldnt etc, and i havent for about 4months now. Its been extremely hard as it was at the stage where i was pretty much addicted to cutting myself. I still struggle not to cut myself it is very hard. But my question is how do i tell my dad that i used to do this without him overreacting? I cut myself mostly due to my history of bad sexual and physical abuse which my father does not know about. He may not know of this but im sure he will ask why did i do it. Any help please! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx for the answers. the reasons i wont tell my dad about the abuse is that im scared about his reactions, he will want to kill the 2 men who did it to me, he will want to know who it was which i wont tell him, it will hurt him and he would most likely blame himself for it, and i dont want to have to go through a court case which he undoubtely will want, and i dont want this to turn into a big issue. i also dont want him to think different of me... one of the abusers was my mothers boyfriend but he has now stopped after 4years of abusing me. the other one i dont know who did it as it was when i was 6-9 years old and i had blocked it out...
A
male
reader, Rico  +, writes (24 June 2010):
Go up to him and tell him u have some thing to show him. If he gets mad or starts to yell give him a few seconds. When cools down give him a hug by doing this u let him know u came to him for love and his help not to be yelled at. hope this is helpful
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I think it's far more important you tell him about the abuse than about the cutting. Especially since the cutting was a result of that. You should definitely find a counselor to talk to about all this.
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A
female
reader, Waiting for an angel +, writes (24 June 2010):
You need to get some kind of psychological help not only for the self harm but also the abuse. Im pretty sure your dad will understand and help you in everything you need. May i ask where your mother is? Sometimes its easier to talk about this w/ your mom than it is w/ your dad. Goodluck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I suggest you go to counselling now. There are many creative things you can do to cope with the hurt in the past. Telling your dad self-mutilation had been a long time habit is not going to make him feel better. Have you been wearing long sleeves all this time? It's winter there now why do you want to let him know right now? Letting him find out is better than hiding this secret forever. My dad would love to hear anything I said and I would love to tell him anything. There's no reason to keep anything from him, unless he is indeed the abusive one, which I'm sure he's not. Perhaps the answer to this question is to go deep within yourself and find out why you are cutting your beautiful skin. Somehow I feel that you want out of this situation and your dad is your closest confidant. You are crying for help inside. It might help if you and your dad go see a counsellor together so he will understand what you are going through.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (23 June 2010):
 You need to talk to him about it immediately.
Who is the person/people that did the physical and sexual abuse?
This issue is much bigger than you cutting yourself.
This issue involves, most likely, other victims.
You have to tell him and seek help.
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