A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:what does it mean when your boyfriend of 1year and 4 momths still has his ex girlfriends number in his phoe,but say he dont call them
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 An ex is an ex for a reason, yes, which is why he can still have her number, but wont be dating them again. I really don't see how him having her number can mean is is still interested, nor do I see why ex's should be cut out of your life completely. Some manage to stay friends. Or at least somewhat decent to each other, respecting them as a normal human being. Him having his number does not mean that he is likely to call her and have an affair. If he didn't have her number but wanted an affair with her he could easily find her number again... It's not that difficult.
As was said earlier "If he's with the girl he loves, why should he need his ex's number? there's no need or excuse for it. An ex is an ex for a reason, such as the past is the past for a reason!" He can still have his ex's number because the ex is after all, a person he knew/knows, and a human being just like you and me. Being intimidated by anything that resembles a connection to an ex is overanalyzing things. Either you trust your man or you don't. If you don't then find someone else.
My boyfriend has some of his ex's on facebook, I have ex's on facebook, I talk to them at times, one I have a pretty decent friendship with. Contact with an ex does NOT always mean hell breaks loose. If it breaks loose it is not because of the ex, but because of the person not being able to control themselves.... If a man is a good man he wont cheat no matter how many temptations you throw at him.
And, after over a year or more, an ex is hardly a temptation any longer. Your man moved on to you, someone he deems better than his ex. By a long shot I think he judges you to be better for him than any ex.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I still have my exes in my phone, means nothing. So long as he's not calling her I wouldn't make an issue of it. If it doesn't seem like there's any strong emotion there towards her (anger too) I wouldn't read into it. I have so many numbers in my phone, most are useless. Some are exes.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 June 2010):
But there's a good point. Maybe it's best you deleted it. That way nothing else could have come of it. I'm sure you've read all the posts on here about girlfriends and boyfriends who have numbers and suddenly make contact and all hell breaks loose. I've seen it far too many times. And I'll see it again tomorrow.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Hi. I think it means its time he gave up his "little black book" of past conquests and deleted their numbers x
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A
female
reader, Blue Sahara +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I guess it depends on how he sees her.
If she is a insane harpie who broke his heart, he might just have left it in there and not realized it's in there till you went through his phone. Or maybe he was too busy drawing devil horns on her pictures to remember to delete the number.
If he still seems to care about her, then I would be a little more worried.
I would hope after over a year he has moved on in some way but if it bothers you ask him to delete it. If you ask, you'll figure out pretty quick what the answer is.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (25 June 2010):
Caring Guy, I didn't understand this "There aren't hidden messages. If he has his ex's number, there is a reason.". If there aren't hidden messages (I also have this impression of men, they aren't conspiring creatures, they are just goofy sometimes) then why should there be a reason?
I also don't think it is a good test of love to tell him to deleted a number for the girlfriend to be happy. I mean it doesn't really matter if he has her number or not. What matters is that he is a loyal, loving and wonderful man to his girlfriend.
I am about to try and dig up the phone number for my ex-fiancee. Not because I want to hook up, or have feelings for him. But because I just found his bicycle in my aunts garage and it is blocking the space for my new car. I had forgotten about it for years. Would have been handy to have his number right now. Too bad I deleted it.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I have tons of numbers from multiple girls I have dated still in my phone even though I'm in a new relationship. You never know when you may need to contact them just to express your sympathy if say a relative of theirs dies. Just because you broke up with them doesn't mean they have to be completely removed from your life. Also they may call you and you'll want to know who it is. I had one ex who called me drunk and its so much easier knowing who it is then to have them mess with you. There is a very small chance that the number is connected to him being interested in her.
You have to decide whether to trust him on this one or make a huge deal over what could end up being absolutly nothing.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 June 2010):
Love you chigirl (the post below), but you're a bit wrong on this one. A man is measured by his actions, not his words. We do things bluntly and definitively. There aren't hidden messages. If he has his ex's number, there is a reason. If he won't delete it, there is a reason. The reason could be that he still likes her. Either way, you need to talk to him again and ask him gently to delete it, since it would make you feel a little easier. If he doesn't, then maybe he is waiting for her to come back.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (24 June 2010):
It means he probably has his phone list stocked up with a ton of other useless numbers he never uses. Like that takeway chinese place back where he used to live. Or to that old colleague of his he hasn't spoken to for years.
He keeps his ex there because he has enough storage space on his phone to keep her without it being an issue. If he had to delete some numbers to make room for new ones she might be the first to go. Who knows. I think you are very insecure if you try to read some meaning into this. There is no rule saying a man can not keep his ex' number.
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