A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 years doesn't want to have sex with me! When I say sex I mean intercourse and giving me oral. I go down on him regularly and we both enjoy that, but that's where our sex life seems to linger. When I try to initiate sex one of three things happen, one: I get turned down, two: I end up just going down on him, or three: we have sex that I feel like I've guilted him into. I'm a very sexually active woman and the lack of intercourse is driving me crazy. We used to have sex a few times a week and now it's averaging on once a month. I've tried talking to him about the problem and he just shuts down emotionally then says he's sorry and just hasn't been in the mood lately. My question is this, how do I get my man interested in sex again? I've tried everything I can think of, lingerie, fantasies, suggesting new positions, etc. but nothing seems to do the trick. I need to know what I'm doing wrong and how to fix the problem. Please help!
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female
reader, prbrowneyes +, writes (23 July 2010):
 I'm going through the same thing but it's only because my fiance works really hard. He's a painter and does more than that, out in the burning sun, etc. So when he comes home he's extremely tired. Physically and emotinally because his father is the boss and drives him mad. Stress is also the factor because we are in a messed up situation living at his parents. You need to find out what's going on. Does he seem like maybe he has signs of depression, too stressed out, work to hard, are you waiting until late at night to make the moves, etc. Once you figure that out, work from there. But #1 you need COMMUNICATION! That is the key to making a relationship work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe've both been stressed lately (we're moving at the beginning of next month), but this has been a problem since before we talked of the move.
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A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 First off - stop doing what we always do in these situations - blaming yourself. Its nothing to do with you, but you end up thinking if I was prettier, slimmer, sexier, etc etc. It really is nothing to do with you - hear me????? :) He has some problem. Could be like the others said he's tired, stressed, or possibly, and I say possibly, he has had some sexual abuse problems from his childhood and these are rearing their ugly head because he's become sexually active in his own right. Trust me, my ex had this problem. I spent years trying to figure out what was wrong with me when all the time it was him. I would say take all pressure off, act uninterested even, go out, don't be so available, and then see what he does. That way if he feels less pressured and he sees you could look elsewhere he may just realise he has to get some help. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): Yeah that doesn't sound right. You need to talk to him and find out what is going on. If he is anywhere near your age, and he is attracted to you and in love with you, he should be horny as a rabbitt on viagra pretty much all the time.
Not to worry you, but I went through a relationship like that and the reason I didn't want to have sex was because my girlfriend had put on a bunch of weight and I didn't find her attractive anymore.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 June 2010):
If a young man's not interested in sex, something is up. Is he under a lot of stress at the moment?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Hmmm it sounds like you've tried everything you can. Is he under a lot of stress lately? That's a real libido killer. The only thing you can do is keep trying to talk to him about how it's making you feel to find out the real reason he's not wanting sex. You should probably also stop giving him BJs if you're never getting anything at all in return.
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A
male
reader, MrIncredible +, writes (24 June 2010):
 I had that problem with my gf as well. Now I am not her, and I dunno how she manage to think of this, but one day she turned up to my work, when I was just about to leave home ( I work at the kitchen as a chef ) and usually I am the last person that leaves the kitchen, because I have to check If I have everything ready for the next day, so basically It was me and her. I wasn't expecting to see her there, and then she jumped me, and that was the craziest sex I've had In a while. And I've enjoyed it too. So problem might be that he is working too hard, and is just too exhausted for sex. Take a one week vacation guys, go to the shore or something. That seemed to work out for me and my gf. Best of luck
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