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| Latest articles: "Be Yourself" is Pointless Advice
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2011: Let's leave aside for now the fact that philosophers have pondered for millennia what the "self" actually is. Not going to get into that, most of those men were a lot brighter than I am (okay, all of them were, but that's not the point). Inst...
How to be Attractive, a Beginner's Guide for Men
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 August 2011: This is mostly a repost of some advice I posted a while back; Cerberus seemed to like it, and Tisha suggested posting it as an article. Things have been expanded on or reworded a bit. Note that the title is not "How to get a girl," or "How t...
Marriage - why should any man bother?
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2010: Women… why should any guy propose marriage? Full disclosure: I have never been married, but several family members and friends have been hurt by divorce, and I know of only a handful of happy marriages over one year old. My feelings for the...
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I didn't tell my online guy that I had a daughter till after we met, now he won't talk to me!
Q. I met a guy online he was in iraq at the time.I never belived in dating sites before,it was my first time chatting with someone oline we start chatting and he was so sweet the more we chat the more I liked him,on one of our chats he asked me if I ...
A. 29 October 2010: I hate to say this, because you sound truly penitent, but I don't think he's going to get over it. I don't think I would, in his position.
Let's go back to your original post:
"I have very strong reason not tell him the truth and I did't feel... (read in full...)
BF wants a Prenup...
Q. Before I got into a relationship with my current bf, he told me that if he ever ends up with someone, he would ask for a prenup. He told me he did not want the relationship to be based on money, and that he does not have a lot himself and that tons ...
A. 20 October 2010: A prenup protects him from all the dangers of modern marriage. It's not a an insult to you; it's sensible protection from the system. Basically, in all 50 states (and, as far as I know, all of Canada), you could decide to leave for no reason at... (read in full...)
I have herpes and feel like scum!
Q. Can someone help? I'm really anxious, upset, stressed out, and depressed. A couple months ago I met someone. I have herpes. He is a really special, kind wonderful guy. Unfortunately I let things get a little too far before I told him (mutual ...
A. 20 October 2010: Lesson learned - tell guys before you even kiss. Your best bet will be to try and find a guy who also has herpes; 99% of guys who don't will react just as poorly as this guy, although probably in different specific ways.
People have the right to... (read in full...)
Opinions needed here. Does size REALLY matter?
Q. would a guy still want to have sex with u even if your boobs are only size A, or would they have more fun with someone with bigger tits. some answers from the teen guys would be great! ...
A. 20 October 2010: Depends on the guy. You can maximize the utility of your tits by being proud of them and shoving them in his face - if you're embarassed and hide your boobs, he's not going to be happy no matter what size they are. I've known some girls who can ... (read in full...)
Do I deserve my car back seeing as I paid for it?
Q. Well, My wife and i been married 4 years and have a 3 year child and she has a 6 year child which i helped raise since he was 2 years old. She doesnt let me see him and dont know why. I need some advice on this problem. My wife left me about 4 ...
A. 20 October 2010: Legally, the car is hers. And if she pays for the divorce filing, so is most of your stuff. Do you have a good, solid prenup? The move to keep you from having the car is probably deliberate. If you can't get a job, she can keep the kid, and you... (read in full...)
How often should I swallow cum?
Q. Me and my boyfriend like to do sex everynight.I really enjoy to give him a blowjob.He tells me to swallow his semen.I don't like swallowing.Is it harmful for body?Is it helpful?How many times in a week should i swallow cum?...
A. 20 October 2010: It can't hurt you, and even if it could, he can't possibly produce enough, fast enough to do so.
In fact, semen contains a cocktail (ha!) of hormones that will give you energy and act as a natural anti-depressant. If he can improve the taste by... (read in full...)
I didn't tell my online guy that I had a daughter till after we met, now he won't talk to me!
Q. I met a guy online he was in iraq at the time.I never belived in dating sites before,it was my first time chatting with someone oline we start chatting and he was so sweet the more we chat the more I liked him,on one of our chats he asked me if I ...
A. 20 October 2010: Chalk it up to experience. I hope he comes around for you, but I doubt he will.
Two things are at work here. I'll try to explain his thought process for you. The first is that you have a kid - I'm sure you know how much that hobbles a dating l... (read in full...)
How do I get out of and over an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Hi ALL, I need some help and advice please. I have just come out of an abusive relastionship as in he was messing me around, using me for sex, being unreliable, claiming we were just freinds, stringing me along, and generally being a nasty brute. ...
A. 19 October 2010: Some guys have learned that women are more addicted to drama and mind games than to consistent affection. This guy sounds like one of them. You didn't fall for him despite his behavior; you fell *because* of his behavior. It riggers the part of ... (read in full...)
How do I tap into that part of her that does still want me and break down the barrier?
Q. Okay so long story. Me and my girl have been on and off for nearly two years. I love her a lot and I know she feels the same way, we adore each other. Earlier this month I betrayed her trust, big time, by lying to her. She was devastated and I...
A. 19 October 2010: Chicks will say that part of you wants them back just to avoid hurting your feelings. Other ones will actually mean it, but that part never gets to make the decisions.
She doesn't want you back enough to actually take you back. More importan... (read in full...)
Do you think a man can be happy with his wife and still cheat on her?
Q. This is a very quick question: do you believe a man who is cheating on his wife but who tells upfront the woman is cheating with that he is in a relationship and "he can't leave her" and, when asked if he is happy, will reply "I think so" ? Is this ...
A. 19 October 2010: Some guys will cheat no matter how happy they are with their girlfriend or wife. Some guys only cheat if something's missing from their marriage (like a good enough sex life). Other guys find the thought of cheating even in a bad situation ... (read in full...)
What does a guy feel when he's squeezing your breasts?
Q. My boyfriend of one year likes to squeeze and rub my breasts. I love it when he does that. We haven't had sex yet, but we want to do it soon. I'm ready for this, but we don't have enough privacy - we both live with our parents, and there's always ...
A. 19 October 2010: Loved, trusted, turned on, excited, content.
Breasts are basically the best thing ever. Sometimes I want to play with them when I'm not even in the mood for sex. At some point, I'm sure it gets distracting for their owner, and taking that int... (read in full...)
Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf
Q. GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...
A. 18 October 2010: I have some pictures, and have kept them to myself, even though that particular ex hurt me pretty badly. I do this partly out of respect for others' privacy, but mostly out of respect to myself. I don't want to be "that guy" who does that sort of ... (read in full...)
Is she flirting???
Q. Heyy jus a quick question erm right this may sound dumb but I need help I'm in my second year at college and I've met this girl who seems heavily flirtatious when we text or chat on facebook she uses the wink face alot and she asked me who do I ...
A. 18 October 2010: Some girls are serial flirts, and every girl overuses winky-icons.
The good news is it doesn't really matter if she's flirting or not - you can start, and if she's interested, she'll go along. Flirting is pretty easy, it's basically just gentle t... (read in full...)
Finding the love for SELF!???
Q. whats wrong with me? why do i hook up with guys who i dont really like... not really into physically either, but still get horny if their in my apt. well ok, its just one guy, i feel lonely and he likes me, he's decent looking but i dont want to be ...
A. 18 October 2010: Yeah, hookups are a pretty bad call. Girls rarely orgasm from them; the guys just don't care enough. At least it's only the one guy - having too many sex partners can seriously hinder your ability to form lasting pair bonds later in life, and guys ... (read in full...)
Cant believe he said this to me!
Q. Well we have been together 7 months and if im honest things have gone pretty slow and i feel sometimes like hes not after anything serious. I put a guard up and sometimes act like the tough girl who's not bothered but i do really care (i guess im ...
A. 18 October 2010: YouWish and CaringGuy are right about both his intentions and your personal boundaries.
However, don't be too hard on the guy. He was expressing himself in the moment, and getting really mad at him for doing so will discourage him from being ho... (read in full...)
I finished with him yet I can't seem to move on... help!
Q. I keep tryin to move on but i can't.. I'm always thinking about him no matter who i am with. And i was the one who let him go... How do i cope? I need help.....
A. 18 October 2010: I've been there. The only way to cope is to keep moving forward. Value the time you had, reminisce, but you would be doing a tremendous disservice to them by trying to start it back up. The other person deserves someone who appreciated what they ... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 18 October 2010: My last reply appears to have been lost to the Ether of the Net. I'll try and replicate is as closely as I can recall.
@Person12345:
This thread is not about rape. It's not about abortion, it's not about the wage gap, it's not about object... (read in full...)
Doubts about God and his laws regarding my relationships with partners
Q. Hi guys, I need some relationship advise concerned with Christianity. I am a protestant Christian, but i'm having trouble getting a relationship with god. Sometimes i'm afraid that he's not real and i am wasting my time and the whole bible thin...
A. 18 October 2010: Your faith is something you'll have to work out for yourself. Talk to a priest if you like, but I've found organized churches tend to cherry-pick different parts of the Bible. I do it too, but I'm a layperson; there's no excuse for them.
As fo... (read in full...)
Why not with me? I want the things other men got!
Q. My wife has had a lot of sexual experience! Tons of boys as a teen, and I know what she did in bed with her ex husband. But... with me? It's plain ol' sex. Why? I want the things other men got. Is it because she is getting older? Am I boring? I have ...
A. 18 October 2010: Your feelings are completely natural and normal. Unfortunately, there is no easy fix for this.
Age may have something to do with it, but it may also be her level of attraction to you. Is the plain ol' sex happening on a frequent basis? Is she l... (read in full...)
How do you do something spontaneous?
Q. i wan to do something spontaneous/be moe spontaneous for my girlfriend?how do i do that? any suggestions? :D...
A. 12 October 2010: The trick is that she doesn't need to know you have a plan. Come up with a nice date, including three or four changes of location, and plan it out ahead of time. Then don't say it's a plan; let her assume you did it without any forethought. Don't ... (read in full...)
Because of my abusive sexual past my boyfriend is afraid of overstepping bounds
Q. Hi, so I'm having some serious issues here. I wont disclose any actual information or names, hence anonymous, but I would really appreciate some advice. I've been dating my boyfriend steadily for almost two years now. We've reached a marker...
A. 12 October 2010: Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds as though you don't want to be treated any differently than if the abuse had never happened. He may be used to the idea that vitcims must always be treated with utmost dlicacy and respect; telling him that you ... (read in full...)
Does fingering mean I'm not a virgin?
Q. I see sex as a binding act of marriage, but I'm with a guy I love. I told him I do not want to have sex, and he's ok with that. The thing is, every time I'm with him, things get a little further. I enjoy it, but should I? Last time I was wi...
A. 12 October 2010: 99% of guys would still consider you a virgin. Telling them you've been fingered before, but never done anything else, will confirm that belief for them. Just say that if they ask.
For the record, most guys consider vaginal and anal sex to "coun... (read in full...)
Why do I find teenage girls attractive?
Q. Hey, I'm a 22 year old guy and would just like to know why I still find teenagers attractive, nothing under legal age of course, just barely legal really turns me on. My last few girlfriends have all been 16, it's not that I don't find girls my own ...
A. 12 October 2010: Technically, the word is "ephebophile," but I get your point.
Men are programmed by evolution to be attracted to youth and fertility. Physically speaking, that's in the age range you're talking about.
Morally, however, the pressures of mod... (read in full...)
He always has to be right, even if its about stupid things!
Q. Hi so i have a question dealing with my bf. We've been together 5 years. He's very opinionated and is a no "BS" kind of guy. he's got a good heart but sometimes when he's having a conversation with somebody and they disagree or make a different ...
A. 12 October 2010: Some people just really like arguing. Getting that out of my system is part of why I use the internet.
I can't see any quick way to change it, unless he decides that it's causing problems in his life. If it's causing difficulties with your fam... (read in full...)
Virgin problem!
Q. Hey, I'm a girl, I'm 17 and 4 months and I'm still a virgin (worryingly). Is this really old? In the past when it's come to the stage of ''we're drunk, lets have sex'' i've always ran away from the scene. But now i don't know if i should hav...
A. 12 October 2010: 17 is not too old - if anything, it's just barely old enough for committed sex, and not yet old enough for the hookup scene.
If you want ot hit the drinking and hooking up scene, you can easily start whenever you like, now or later.
If, how... (read in full...)
I'm ready for a baby but he's not! What should we do?
Q. Hi i need your help , me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time now and for a couple of months wev been talking about having a kid, my Heart has been set on having a child for years now and im soo certain that im ready for the ...
A. 12 October 2010: I understand that the things our parents do to us can stick with us forever. That's why you should not have a kid out of spite, or to prove anything to some ass who would say that to his own child.
Worse yet, if you have a kid now, you'll b... (read in full...)
He's not putting in the effort anymore, should I worry?
Q. When I first got with my boyfriend he was the most romantic man I've ever met/known. He used to do the loveliest things for me all the time that used to make me so happy and I totally knew how into me he was. This carried on for almost a year, he ...
A. 12 October 2010: There's probably some element of the usual slowing down that comes with time, but his work may be getting to him, too.
The conditions at work may have been going on for a long time, but they may have just finally worn him down. If he still lo... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says it's over if I get another tattoo!
Q. Hi all My boyfriend has told me that he might leave me if i get another tattoo, piercing or modify my body in any way. We have been together for 5 years and i love him dearly. He is very sweet and kind and i do value his opinion on body modifi...
A. 12 October 2010: You have to decide which is more important to you. Whether or not you get a tattoo or a piercing is not his choice - it's your body, and your life. But the flip side of that coin is, whether or not he stays with you afterwards is not your ... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 12 October 2010: @ Person12345:
I can address the rape stats in a PM or another article if you like; my point was more intended to be that bringing up rape in this thread is off-topic and serves only to make people unnecessarily uncomfortable. For the record, ... (read in full...)
Should I confess or just keep quiet??
Q. Ladies...I need to get an honest opinion of how you would deal with this situation: Let's say you started a friendship with a guy who dazzled you like no other man, but he had a serious girlfriend. You found out later their relationship had...
A. 11 October 2010: Well, the moral thing to do is be honest - this is also the choice to make for a healthy, happy relationship based on mutual trust and respect.
Honestly, you have nothing to be ashamed of yet. Lying would change that.
However, he will likely n... (read in full...)
Why do people dislike people who are large??
Q. How come people dont like others just becuase there fat ?...
A. 11 October 2010: Most people don't care if someone is fat unless romance is involved. Some people either develop unpleasant personalities due to romantic rejection (for being fat), or have no self-control or self-respect to beging with (and so they get fat), but ... (read in full...)
Two months ago she was going to love me forever; now she doesn't see it working out
Q. I'm 21 and I've been dating my 27 y/o girlfriend for just over a year now. I met her in Australia after she came for a year from Germany, where she has now recently returned home. We travelled all over Australia together and i took her home to meet ...
A. 11 October 2010: Take it on the chin and move forward. Her biological clock is ticking more insistently than any love for you at this point, and that's causing her to treat you so callously.
If someone is "not sure" if they have feelings for you any more, it... (read in full...)
How do you know if he's the one?
Q. Hi there, my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 1 year plus now. We went through a lot together in the past, a lot of arguments, and there was no peace in the relationship. But we still stayed on to it, and slowly now things are pretty good ...
A. 11 October 2010: I'm a Christian myself, and do not believe in the concept of "the one." I'm not certain there's any Biblical support for that concept, either - can't think of any off the top of my head, at any rate.
Really, that concept is a terrible one. Ev... (read in full...)
Just the ordinary girl with the question... do you think this is love?
Q. im stuck here and i need help even thought i think ive got the answer on my own! i just want to know what others think. i postded an article like this only a few hours ago as i have only registered for a day or two, then i noticed i had stated ...
A. 11 October 2010: I'd have a hard time saying so. Normally, what I see from people your age is better called "infatuation," which is really just hormones making us act like idiots.
On the other hand, our ability to pair-bond is strongest at that impressi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hate my best friend. Is it right that I pick him over her?
Q. My boyfriend and his friends hate my bestfriend! she annoys me quite alot too. but she is still my friend and there is no way im going to just ignore her presence. i call her names and slag her off to my boyfriend and his friends but im still ...
A. 11 October 2010: Why do all women secretly hate their best friends?
Typically, I'd suggest staying loyal to your friends over a romantic interest, especially at your age, but this friendship sounds pretty bad, and the guy seems to like you.
I've been in ... (read in full...)
We had sex and he orgasmed inside me..but didn't tell me!! What should I do?
Q. I was with my boyfriend in the car the other night and we were making out and it got to the point to where he wanted to have sex. i was resisting and he knew it and i even said no once but finally i gave in because he wasn't giving up. Then after i ...
A. 11 October 2010: Get Plan B really quick, just in case.
As for the guy, he probably assumed you knew he had finished inside you. I'm guessing he's just as young and inexperienced as you are, and has no idea what he's doing or what's proper. Such are the conseque... (read in full...)
Smooth? Or hairy?
Q. i was wondering if guys like down there smooth or hairy on woman ?...
A. 11 October 2010: I don't know of any American men who like it really, really hairy. All of us at least want it trimmed; some guys enjoy completely shaved, or with just a "landing strip." Personally, my last girlfriend was completely shaved, and it worked great on ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so unloved when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me?
Q. Why do I feel so unloved, unappreciated, and dirty when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me? Why do I feel as if she doesn't desire me anymore? Why do I feel so...... Down......?...
A. 11 October 2010: Love is a series of funny chemical reactions in our brains that cause us to attach to one person. Sex releases hormones that renew these reactions. For men in particularly, love simply *isn't* without regular, satisfying sex.
Addit... (read in full...)
Why do men disappear giving you no closure and think it's OK?
Q. Why do men disappear or dump you and give you no closure and think its ok? This is what my ex did....
A. 11 October 2010: No one is entitled to "closure." Starting a relationship may be mutual, but ending one is unilateral. You have no real obligation to someone after the relationship ends.
Certainly, explaining your position and making everything clear to the othe... (read in full...)
How do I start a conversation with boyfriend about unplanned pregnancy?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have started to have sex. Yes we use protection, but there is always a chance of pregnancy, and I believe it is the right thing if we talk about what we would do in that situation now then if it might happen. I want to know his ...
A. 11 October 2010: The anon below is seriously wrong. You need a plan for when something happens. You can only risk a 1% chance of failure so many times before your number comes up. Besides, if you have a plan to deal with a problem, for some reason (karma?) the ... (read in full...)
I'm ready for a baby but he's not! What should we do?
Q. Hi i need your help , me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time now and for a couple of months wev been talking about having a kid, my Heart has been set on having a child for years now and im soo certain that im ready for the ...
A. 11 October 2010: You're what, 16? 17? Don't have a baby yet at all! Wait until you're at least 20. Doing it now will make you both much more likely to end up raising it in poverty.
Also, if you really care about your boyfriend or your future child, don't ha... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 11 October 2010: @ person12345:
While I agree with you that excessive porn use in a relationship is a bad thing, I take issue with a few of your statements. Note that this entire post is going to be from a guy's persepctive regarding porn use; I don't feel qua... (read in full...)
How do I start a conversation with boyfriend about unplanned pregnancy?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have started to have sex. Yes we use protection, but there is always a chance of pregnancy, and I believe it is the right thing if we talk about what we would do in that situation now then if it might happen. I want to know his ...
A. 10 October 2010: Ask him straight up, with no hinting or probing, in a time and place of low pressure. Not right after sex, or out in public, just a quiet moment when you two are alone.
Be completely honest with him. He'll be nervous at first, and probably... (read in full...)
Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
Q. So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
A. 22 September 2010: Another point here is that men liekly don't want their women to see exactly what they are masturbating to. What 40 year-old wife wants to see "barely legal" in the browser history? What A-cup wants to see "big naturals" there?
Simply put, guy... (read in full...)
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