A
male
age
30-35,
*iammac
writes:I'm 21 and I've been dating my 27 y/o girlfriend for just over a year now. I met her in Australia after she came for a year from Germany, where she has now recently returned home. We travelled all over Australia together and i took her home to meet my parents, brother and sisters and friends. They all really loved her, and think shes a great catch. Unfortunately in August she had to go back home because her VISA ran out. She wanted to return home saying she didnt want to live in Australia anymore. Whilst being upset as the relationship would most likely come to an end, i supported her decision to return home to her family if that's what she wanted. After we went travelling for a few months, and her time here was nearly over, she told me how much she loved me and how no one else can make her feel the way i do. She said she wanted to live with me again and spend our lives together. How that i am the one for her. So i decided i would move to the UK to be closer to her. She said she would love to live with me in the UK as she loves it there. Now, i have quit my job and i am planning to go over towards the end of December. I recently spoke to her the other day, and not even being back home for two months, told me that she doesn't see us working out. She said she feels that we have two different "life paths" and need to go our own ways. She constantly brings up the age bracket, saying that she wants to start a family soon. But she has never asked me if i was ready. She says she's not sure if she loves me anymore or has any feelings for me. I asked her what could have changed over that time where she would go from wanting to spend the rest of her life with me, to not wanting me at all. She said she just doesn't feel connected with me anymore. But she couldnt give me a straight answer. She wouldn't break it off but wouldn't tell me if we were on. She needs to time to think. I have absolutely no idea what to think or feel in this situation. I don't honestly see how it could so abruptly change over a space of 6 weeks. I love her to death and have supported her through everything but now i just feel like i have been used. What do i do in this situation? Do i tell her how much she's hurt me? Or take it on the chin and move on with my life to someone who actually wants to be with me?I'm really stuck on this one....
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male
reader, liammac +, writes (14 December 2010):
liammac is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys. Unfortunately, she just dumped me. But thanks for all the advice :)
A
female
reader, dreamingbella  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Hey, i don't know her at all to give a right judge. But believe me, there're some girls like DaisyL has said. For an example, yes i am kind of that girl. I easily losing the feeling of connection once me and my fella live apart. So my mind simply creates a firewall of pushing him away by saying i don't love, i feel it not right, which helps me myself a bit release and yet no worries about how hurt i could get if nothing could works. I know that sounds silly but at least that's what i thought.
I hope your girl is thinking the same way, so my advice is go for it since you consider yourself love her to death.
If not, then yes you should head up and keep moving on.
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Take it on the chin and move forward. Her biological clock is ticking more insistently than any love for you at this point, and that's causing her to treat you so callously.
If someone is "not sure" if they have feelings for you any more, it generally means they no longer love you, but are struggling with the "sunk cost" of all the time and effort spent on the relationship. Time to jump ship, and best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, DaisyL +, writes (11 October 2010):
 You're such a sweet guy, any girl would be lucky to be with you.
I think maybe your girlfriend is psychically unsecure, there is a type of girl who always has to be with someone she loves. Only being with you can she establish the connection.Once you're apart, she panics and gets anxious underneath. Those feelings subconsciously open up her mental defence which protects her feeling from leaving you.
If that's so, I think you should go for her anyway, tell her that you love her. Cause that's what she really wants.
I hope you guys be happy together!
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A
female
reader, LilmissSunshine +, writes (11 October 2010):
yes, you may really love her. But that is just wrong of her. So what there is an age gap between you and her. You can't help who you fall for. But if she's does not feel the same way. Than I'd say move on. It seems like it would be her loss anyways.
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