A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,I need some relationship advise concerned with Christianity. I am a protestant Christian, but i'm having trouble getting a relationship with god. Sometimes i'm afraid that he's not real and i am wasting my time and the whole bible thing was some people fooling the world. I look at my life and i see such great amazing wonders in it and i think, how can he not exist? I've got a great life and i believe he is guiding me. I want to have a better relationship with him and i want to see him as my soulmate. I find it difficult to get the same sort of satisfaction in religion as what i do from another person. I really really want to be filled by it, but i have a barrier in the way. I don't know how to calm my doubts and just believe completely. I think i believe to a point, but then somewhere along the line, when my faith requires me to give up things (like a relationship with a non-Christian) i get the doubts thinking what if hes not real and i'm giving up my chances of finding the right guy for me? When really Gods love should be enough surely?
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male
reader, yestour  +, writes (23 October 2010):
Glad I'm an Atheist - No need to worry about stuff that's impossible to believe. I've got a great life, no thanks to some invisible creature. To me life has it's up's and down's and $hit happens, it's that simple for me.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Ask yourself this question: why do I believe there is a god?
The answer to this question will guide the rest of your reasoning. Perhaps you'll find out that you don't believe in god at all, that you just find the concept of a loving creator comforting but you don't actually believe in it. Perhaps you'll find rejecting the god of the bible, for another god.
There are many other religions than Christianity and Christianity has many denominations other than the one you're practicing.
If you find out that the god you are currently worshiping does not possess the attributes you believe God should have, then you are probably worshiping the wrong god.
Best of luck.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 As a person who left Christianity to convert to another religion, I feel weird in ( sort of ) defending mainstream Christian churches. Bear with me and I'll try to explain what I mean :
- rules and regulations inside the Church were made by men, not by God.
For instance , in the Catholic Church celibacy of priests became mandatory only in 1545 under Pope Paul III during Council of Trento. Till then, for the previous 15 centuries, priests had been married and raising families in the general indifference, until this assembly of (married ) bishops said "Enough guys, no more sex for you ".
Many other rules and prescriptions are the expression ,not of the will of God, but of the social, economical, cultural priorities of a given society.
BUT ( very important but ) : if you join a club, you commit to respect their rules. You can't join the boy scouts then refuse to help old ladies cross the street. You can't join the Manchester United official fan club then root for another team.
One of the tenets of Christian churches is obedience. Faith is supposed to help you accept and obey also those rules you don't like.
Therefore personally I can't agree with "do it yourself "
observance, " do whatever since God loves you anyway "-
God DOES love you anyway, but then why bothering maintaining a formal affiliation with a certain church ( protestant Christian in your case ).
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female
reader, Sunystar1 +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Check out this link and see if it helps you in anyway about being with/married to an unbeliever. http://www.goingtojesus.com/site/php/books.php?tname=marriage:7:9
Also:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2849586/proverbs_31_essential_scripture_for.html
AS far as belief in God: 1st, the bible was written by men on behalf of God. Yet we have been sinners from early days of Eden. Men could have used their own perspective and desires for the world. The words in red are the only quoted text.
The thing about Gods law is simple. He wants to do good, love unconditionally and have us all get along. Seems like a pretty good thing there. He is not telling us to kill or steal and speaks of commandments. These commandments are of great directions....they instruct us to not do these things because of the pain and hurt to others. So to believe in God is to believe in GOoD.
I have had many miracles in my life. I have also experienced some things in the spiritual realm that totally had me believeing. I went through something very bad and I literally came under attacks. I had heard people share stories (like ghost stories and out of body) and I use to think, yeah right. But after I had my own....YEAH RIGHT is real. There has to be someone who created all that we see and live in. I just can't imagine dust (big bang theory) as the answer. And if it was, who created the dust? I would say you need to draw closer in prayer. Invite the Holy Spirit in to your body and heart. Let your faith "investigate" the truths. You must use discernment when taking advice and reading scripture. Ask for wisdom of what is truth and not. I have done that. I read things in the bible that don't seem right or contradict other area's. So I soul search for what I need to know, not want to know. Wants can alter the message. The need will deliver what YOU need. All of us have different needs and our own unique relationship with God. Just try to be the best you can be doing good. Everyone like to have good times, and few like a bad time. If they do, they have something else going on deeper. Strongholds that need to be broken. Don't you ever wonder why or how a 2 year old girl could be raped and killed? Like why would that be allowed to happen? I too struggle with these kind of thoughts. Like Adam and Eve sinned, but we all pay for it? Or was we once all in Heaven and we did think Satan had a point about some of us being higher up and not equals so we fell to the this earth to learn why Heaven was so great and why equality is a good thing. If we are all equals than there can be no jealousy or envy. But how did 1 Angel of "Darkness-now" have a flaw? There is alot and I guess we will all find out when we die. Sad thing is, once we die, thats it. And we all die but I want to believe that I will go on and not just vanish. Humans are complex but love is beautiful when it is real. How can we love someone so much and then is just disappears? I want to believe that these emotions I feel will serve a purpose after life as well during life. But it is okay to ? and God will answer if you open your heart.
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female
reader, HondaTohru  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 I understand that the answerers here have good intentions and want to help you, but I guess they just can't wholly grasp the notion of being Christian and trusting your life to God.
So you seem to have trouble making decisions for your life because of your wavering faith... Know that God will always love you (he loves you soooo much more than any man ever will), no matter how many mistakes you make. The thing is, if you don't follow the path he has for you, you will always have this nagging feeling that you aren't where you should be (at least that's how I felt for a long time).
I suggest you pray to God and lay all of your troubles at his feet, he WILL deal with them. Ask him to show you how he wants you to live, and you will get an answer. Now the answer you recieve may not be the one that you wished for (meaning you will need to make sacrifices), but there is nothing more fulfilling than to know that you are in the center of God's will.
About a hypothetical relationship with a non-Christian, well I think you know what the right thing to do is. For my part, I'd rather be single all my life than to marry a non-Christian man. (No, I don't think non-Christians are horrible people, I just think they could never fully understand me. Being a child of GOd is part of my identity, and them rejecting God is like them rejecting a part of me that is too important to be ignored.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): i suggest u to read the quran , u will find all answers for all your questions , beliieve me after reading it , u will come back here and tell us how much u ve changed , believe me ive been there and done that , and my life aint the same at all. peace
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reader, der_zyniker +, writes (18 October 2010):
I think you may be confusing faith in God with believing everything your denominations preaches sometime. My advise on that one is that you don't have to believe everything a specific faith teaches. Don't let the church tell you what to believe. Figure out what seems right in your mind and what you consions says. Sometimes you just have to sit down and reason out what you believe. And I'll tell you one thing. You can decide whether you agree with me or not. There is nothing wrong with having a relationship with someone that is a Non-Christian. If God is so great and compasionate do you really thing that he would be so petty as to say that they are any less than you. I think that he decides whether a person goes to heaven based on what they did in their life and if they did what they thought was right and not by what religion they are. As for being concerned about whether you believe in him or not, we all have our doubts. You are by no means that only one. Also, God will find you the right guy, but you have to look. He won't just hand it to you on a silver plater. While letting God find the right guy for you, you also have to make that happen to. Let him guide your actions. If you aren't sure what God is telling you then just do what your heart tells you to do. You also expressed a concern about whether God's love should be enough for you. Well to that one I would say that his love and the love you are seeking from another person are different kinds of love. If you want to be with someone else then go and try to find someone. You do not have to be alone just because God loves you. I think that God wants you to find someone. I know that at times it's tough, but you need to try to have faith even when it seems like there is no reason to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Well, a lot of interesting answers. If you are a Christian, make sure you are attending a Bible Believing, Bible preaching Church. Yes, I believe God is real. I also think it is normal to sometimes have doubts and to want things to happen in your life according to your Schedule and not Gods. The Bible is full of stories of humans wanting what they think is their right on their schedule. God is faithful. He will bring what he wants to happen on his time, not our own.
We need other Christians in our lives to encourage us and we need to be interacting with and being a positive influence in the world around us. You need God and you need others. If you truly seek to follow him, you will find the relationship developing over time.
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reader, Odds +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Your faith is something you'll have to work out for yourself. Talk to a priest if you like, but I've found organized churches tend to cherry-pick different parts of the Bible. I do it too, but I'm a layperson; there's no excuse for them.
As for the rules, do you expect a way of life to exist without rules? Do you think you can live any kind of life without giving up something? All of them serve some purpose. The rules in Christianity exist to protect you, your soul, and the faith itself.
For instance, take the rule you cite against marrying outside the faith. There are several instances of God sanctioning such unions in specific cases, but for the most part, the Old and New Testaments ocnsistently frown on them. You can, however, marry a convert without any issues. This rule exists to protect the faith itself - the children of the faith must carry the faith, and pass it to their children. This is considered a fair trade because you, as a Christian, are benefiting from and taking responsibility for the faith; part of the price of admission is caring for the faith in turn.
Of course, you are more than welcome to break the rules or abandon your faith entirely. But before you get upset at some restriction, or throw away the whole thing, consider what prupose the rules may have, and consider what benefit your faith has given you.
Either way, God is there for you.
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reader, cheannryl  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Oh my gosh!you know what?i hate how you think,anyways it's my reaction.I understand you btw.
When i was young i used to question God,is he real?how come?hmm..doubts like that,but,there's one incdnt that made me truly believe in him.
If you just stop thinking about it and try to understand,oh gosh!i wish i could tell you everything!to make you understnd.
You said you gotta great life,you know he guides you,then why?
This bible,religion,rules.
Dear,religion can't save you.It's your faith n him. Why you're still breathing? Who gives the universe? Who gives the air?the water?who guides you when you're asleep,who gives everything?
It's not the Bible, it's not the religion, It's Him.
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reader, kewuoygy +, writes (18 October 2010):
It is not possible to discuss the complex theological and philosophical issues surrounding the existence and the experience of God on this forum.
I can only say that from the point of view of relationships, it is difficult for two people to work together in a long term relationship if they have incompatible or divergent belief and value systems--especially belief and value systems that are of "ultimate concern." I can't imagine that marriage between a committed atheist like Richard Dawkins and someone as devout as Mother Teresa could ever work. There are moments in our life when we need to give or receive comforting words that springs from our ultimate concern, say, when we have a life-threatening illness or have lost a loved one. Would an atheist partner of yours be able to offer the kind of comforting words you need?--"Deal with it! There is no God!" Conversely, would you be able to offer what your atheist partner needs in those moments?
To be sure, if you've got two people who are not very serious or passionate about these things, then it shouldn't matter much. There are successful and happy interfaith marriages or marriages between believers and non-believers. But it would involve quite a bit of give-and-take, tolerance and compromises in these marriages. And in the eyes of those who are committed to their faith, it would appear that people in such marriages would have to "water down" their belief and value systems.
It all comes down to how important God is to your life, how important it is for you in the pursuit of God in the future. If you think that is important, then you will need to think about potential clashes between different value and belief systems in the choice of partner. Romantic feelings or even a charming personality can only take you so far, as those of us who have been married soon found out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): You can still be a Christian but not give up things like going out with a non-Christian. Plenty of Christians do that I'm sure. If you're having doubts then why do you not take a step back and look at the bigger picture and then you can decide what to believe. I personally believe there is something there (like God) guiding us but do not take the Bible as a factual account (I suppose I'm a liberal Christian). Good luck, I hope you find the answers you're looking for!
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reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Here is the way I see it:
God does not command your whole heart, God does not demand that you love no other. The way I see it, if God is as omniscient and omnipotent as the ancients and the modern-day believers would suggest, God is but another force, a sentient one but aside from that, no different than gravity or some such things, in this way, God exists in all and can guide all nothing but a whim.
Where did Christianity stem from? Jesus Christ's teachings. I never bother reading what all else have to say because those are the ones that tend to become hypocritical and blinding. Jesus was enlightening and he spread peace, never hatred nor intolerance or injustice whereas the others did. Look at the Book of Leviticus, his so called 'teachings' were nothing but loathsome words.
As long you love and love faithfully, as long as you are tempted but are able to overcome temptation (i.e. to cheat) would God then not smile upon you? Remember that we are free to believe but we are also free to sin and that is why the world has become so corrupt and ignorant of its own parasitic destruction. Virtues are so much harder to achieve than the sin and it will always be harder to to the right thing. Like love faithfully and completely.
Why do you have to give up a relationship with a non-christian? If he respects your beliefs, if he does not so willingly commit atrocious sins than why deny yourself his love? Love is benevolent and always will be like God, a completely unbiased, all-tolerating force.
I hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): The Bible was written by men. And humans are notoriously unreliable.
Where in the Bible does it say you can't marry outside your religion? Anyone forbidding you to love because of some misunderstood written word, is missing the point of the bible.
I am by no means a religious man. It is my view that I need no deity to guide me. All I need and desire is inside of me as a human.
But you have to have faith in something. Even if it is faith that you have the strength and wisdom within you.
Take the lessons the Bible teaches you, basically try not to let hate and hurt control you. Learn to forgive and love, even when you have no reason to.
No one can know the answers you seek. But searching for them is the human endeavour. So long as you live a good life and treat those you encounter with respect, even if it is not returned, it is up to you who you love.
That is what any self-respecting God would want. To see his/her underlings use the things he/she has given them wisely.
Flynn 24
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reader, janniepeg +, writes (18 October 2010):
 There are two types of people. The thinking type and the feeling type. I am not saying those who think do not feel at all or vice versa, it's just that one side of their personality is dominant. Christianity is for the feeling type, they are not supposed to ask questions and just believe. Buddhism is for the thinking type. They doubt everything and believe in nothing. If you have doubts it means Christianity is not for you. You can not go on with this practice when you have doubts. Religion is a tool for spiritual growth. When you have conflicting feelings about it, it doesn't serve you anymore. Some sages say, knock, and you shall find while some say, don't knock, don't find, because there is nothing to be found, and God cannot be known.
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