A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heyy jus a quick question erm right this may sound dumb but I need help I'm in my second year at college and I've met this girl who seems heavily flirtatious when we text or chat on facebook she uses the wink face alot and she asked me who do I fancy on the course of which we both do I stated her and one other girl who she hangs out with all the time. the thing is I kno of flirting I jus dnt kno how to flirt. Now I dnt kno for sure if she is flirting with me but our personalities are very similar and I jus copy or Reflect her behaviour towards me back to her. All I'm askin is how can I tell if she is flirting with me Because whether she is or not I'd jus hate to get it wrong and ruin the fun friendship please help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Hun im what way does she talk to u. Is she always teasing then yes but be careful she could be doing it just for fun girls sometimes flirt without even knowing it so pretty much leading them on which I think is so wrong
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Some girls are serial flirts, and every girl overuses winky-icons.
The good news is it doesn't really matter if she's flirting or not - you can start, and if she's interested, she'll go along. Flirting is pretty easy, it's basically just gentle teasing like you would do for a little sister.
If you're getting a positive response to the verbal teasing and banter, don't be afraid to put your hand on hers, or touch her arm or lower back. If that's getting a positive response, lead her around with one hand on her lower back, or tickle her. It helps to be in a very casual environment for this part, like a house party or pub.
Now, all that stuff is pretty normal and won't ruin your friendship. She will probably not object to any of it. As long as she's single, you can do all that stuff all you want. Or you can act normal and platonic, or switch back and forth all you want. If it goes badly, just switch back to platonic permanently and start trying to find a new girl to flirt with.
If you move past that, you have to be willing to risk the friendship. That means getting more physical, kissing her, and heavy petting. The trick with this stuff is to be willing to let it stop at any point, to treat it as something fun but optional, not as something you desperately want until later.
If it doesn't work out, chalk it up to experience and move on. Good luck either way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Since you don't want to risk ruining the relationship, I would recommend looking up "how to flirt" on wikihow. Then if you want things to get more serious, flirt in ways a little further than what she does. If you get a positive reaction, continue; if not, back off a little. This is how I am used to seeing my friends test the waters to see if someone likes them and get a relationship to begin to develop.
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