A
female
age
30-35,
*atherine_jo
writes:Hi there, my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 1 year plus now. We went through a lot together in the past, a lot of arguments, and there was no peace in the relationship. But we still stayed on to it, and slowly now things are pretty good actually. I feel closer to him now than before. But now i have a small problem. After so long and often that my bf and my mum spent time together, she still doesn't feel right about him. She told me it's her intuition. She said that he may not be 'the one' for you. We Christians believe that God has a special someone for each of us, and my mum feels that he may not be. But how do i really know for sure?Back then when my mum used to tell me stuff similar to this, like "i don't feel sure about him", "when you work keep your eyes open"...etc, i would feel affected by it in a sense that i doubt myself about him as well. However recently, when she told me that he may not be the one, and my father who is no longer here also felt the same, i don't feel how i used to feel. Instead i feel that i want to see him right now, i love him, and i somehow now feels that he's the one. So how do i really know for sure? I'm really worried, and i'm not ready to let him go.
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female
reader, Catherine_jo +, writes (9 November 2010):
Catherine_jo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for both of your replies, about the arguments, i believe that in a relationship, arguments will tend to occur. I would say that things are definitely better is compared to the past, but sometimes there are things that i like and he doesnt. Like for example, i like to kiss him, but he doesn't like to kiss much in general, also probably because he's very stressed out with life. But him being stressed with life and all, i'm over that, it does not affect me much because first of all it's not his fault that his life is like this, it wouldnt be fair for him if i left him cause of that, it wouldnt be love would it?
But at times i do feel pressured by him, because i am quite spoiled to be honest, so sometimes he'll pressure me by being upset because i'm like this, or i did this, or i did that. But at the end of the day, he'll always be the one that holds me again.
And yes, i agree that there's no just 'the one', even if God did give me the one, i have to put effort in making the relationship work, after all God did give us brains to think.
Really appreciate both of your replies, if you have something to add based on your experience, please do, will really appreciate it.
Btw abt that feeling thing, she has no proof of the feeling, it's just her intuition. Also maybe because at the beginning of the relationship we argued a lot, so maybe that's why she feels that way.
A
female
reader, DaisyL  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Maybe your mum is right, parents always know.
She can see something you can't.
If you're not ready to let him go, just wait for a while, i think God would give you a hint.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I'm a Christian myself, and do not believe in the concept of "the one." I'm not certain there's any Biblical support for that concept, either - can't think of any off the top of my head, at any rate.
Really, that concept is a terrible one. Every relationship requires work, and can fail no matter how perfect you two are if the love is neglected. On the other hand, there are thousands, perhaps millions of people who would make good spouses.
There is no "one." However, if you can honestly say that he will love, honor, protect, and provide for you, and that you would find it worthwhile to be his wife, what more do you need? Are you truly past all the arguments, and are you truly at peace? Will you still love each other when you are 40? 60?
Your mother is, like all mothers, not certain that the love of the life is good enough for her baby. If she has any quantifiable evidence against him (job status, history, that sort of thing), listen to her - she has the experience to judge that. If it's just an off feeling, ignore it.
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