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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
Q. I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
A. 1 December 2017: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the read.
And you're right, I have met someone since that I'm now in a happy relationship with because I learnt what behaviours I wouldn't accept and what I wanted out of a future partner.
I think a lot of g... (read in full...)
Does prior promiscuity / lack of self care mean danger in a relationship?
Q. So.... a couple meets on tinder. They like each other, go for "the test". Turns out person A has an STD but makes out like they were just "unlucky" to have contracted it. Person B accepts and tries to move forward confidently. Person B had a clean ...
A. 4 October 2016: To remove A from their life as quickly as possible.
Cheating and exposing their partner to STDs, what an asshole.... (read in full...)
Why can't I find someone to date?
Q. So about 2 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend. It has been my most meaningful relationship to date, because we lived together. At first it was all a dream. I was crazy in love, we had the chemistry that only happens in movies. And I felt loved ...
A. 4 October 2016: Don't beat yourself up over it, you've just been unfortunate to fall for time wasters. You can't force falling for someone so stop trying to actively look for it because you'll just end up never finding it or disappointed for rushing into things.
... (read in full...)
Is it normal that he's always hard around me?
Q. He loves me and has proven that to me so many times through his actions. I have no doubt in my heart that we connect very well. I wrote a post here before about my boyfriend not taking me out or do special things for me. We spoke about it and he has ...
A. 3 October 2016: Sounds like he just has a high sex drive. It's very normal for him to be hard around you most of the time, especially if you're in the bedroom.... (read in full...)
Is it possible for your BF to have a tryst in an hour?
Q. Likely or unlikely? Possible or not possible? Your boyfriend goes to the Home Depot and is gone for exactly one hour. Is it possible for him to leave his car in the Home Depot parking lot, have another woman pick him up, take him somewhere ...
A. 2 October 2016: I'm sorry but I lost it at GPS tracker.
You need help and to let this poor man go.... (read in full...)
He was my FWB. Should I just leave him alone, for now?
Q. About a year ago I had a one night stand with a guy i met on a night out, we got on really well and started texting and having casual sex regularly. Both of us didnt want a relationship so we decided to be friends with benefits. After a few months ...
A. 2 October 2016: Yes, cut all contact.
It's not going to work or else it would be doing and you'd be together in a relationship.
I have a few friends in on/off relationships and they're just always angry and bitter with each other, it's just so toxic and unheal... (read in full...)
Is being called ''plain and simple'' a compliment?
Q. Is being "Plain and Simple" a compliment? We were having dinner the other night and I asked my husband of over 20 years did it taste ok. I said its just plain food, meaning unprocessed. He said "Yes, Plain and Simple,just the way I like my women"...
A. 1 October 2016: It depends how you look at it, I can see why you're offended but on the other hand it could be viewed as what you see is what you get, you don't mess him around and you're upfront/open.... (read in full...)
I scared him off but I want him back...but how??
Q. There was this guy. I knew him from high school and we were always friends with a very strong connection. He liked me but I always had a boyfriend and frankly I thought he was weird. We talked briefly in December and stopped because I was going ...
A. 1 October 2016: You want a relationship and he doesn't therefore it won't work no matter what spin you try to put on it. Believe me.... (read in full...)
How long does it take somebody to get over nonstop lying, cheating & betrayal??
Q. Hi All!! Im praying that somebody out there will have some answers to my massive confusion in my relationship. 4 months after starting a relationship with the guy im still with currently. He proposed to me. I accepted due to being massively head ...
A. 1 October 2016: I'm just baffled you've stayed with a guy that tried to hit on your UNDERAGE daughter, surely as a mother you'd do anything to protect your children?
... (read in full...)
I lost the ring my wife purchased for me. She'll be very cross. What should I do?
Q. My wife left for Paris last week, and instead of going to work, coming home to a lovely empty apartment and playing video games like I been doing, my brother convinced me to hang out with him for the night. When I got there all the boys were the...
A. 1 October 2016: Items are replaceable. Sure it cost a lot of money but it's not the end of the world is it? That night could of gone a lot worse if a large scale fight broke out and then the ring wouldn't really be on anyone's minds would it?
Just own up and tell... (read in full...)
The definition of moving on has a very different meaning for dumper and dumpee?
Q. Is it normal that Dumpers always want to be friends or find it cool than how a dumpee views it? And Im not talking about right after a breakup, but after time they seem to just be cool to maintain some truce or form of contact. It is clear tha...
A. 30 September 2016: ***Sometimes the dumper may feel like they're not cared about and if that's true and they dump their partner then it could also be true that the dumped isn't as bothered because they actually werent that into the relationship.***
... (read in full...)
Was this barman interested in me?
Q. I went to an afternoon bar to catch up with a friend. I helped myself to some water as the queues were too long at the bar. Then this waiter came over quickly and filled a bottle of water and came over to my table and said "I have got you some water ...
A. 30 September 2016: He could of been interested and he also could of just been being friendly. I don't think anyone will be able to gauge that from the info.
Go back in and strike up some conversation and see where it takes you.
Good luck... (read in full...)
The definition of moving on has a very different meaning for dumper and dumpee?
Q. Is it normal that Dumpers always want to be friends or find it cool than how a dumpee views it? And Im not talking about right after a breakup, but after time they seem to just be cool to maintain some truce or form of contact. It is clear tha...
A. 30 September 2016: I see your point, but I don't think it will always go like this. I'm sure that some times the person dumping can hurt just as much or even more than the person that they've dumped but they may of had to do it for a reason like they're being ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to develop feelings for me?
Q. I proposed a boy... at first he accepted, but then he wanted time from me... He told that he hasn't that kind of feelings for me, even he said, from the beginning he thought me as as a sister... so he needed time to grow his feelings... but...
A. 29 September 2016: He's using you to stroke his ego.
You guys will never get together.... (read in full...)
She showed me her nude pictures. Does this mean she likes me?
Q. A little about us, we are both 21, study at the same university and are very close to each other. We study together, eat together, hang out it the same group most of the time. Last week we were doing an assignment at her place. Actually there w...
A. 29 September 2016: Definitely not bro, if she calls you a kid brother then there's absolutely no chance that she likes you.
Sorry to break it to you.... (read in full...)
My FWB has friend zoned me and its devastating!
Q. Hi, so of a few months ago I wrote this post but I would now like to get some more feedback as this situation is really driving me insane. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/mixed-signals-from-my-crush.html Basically, him and I continue ...
A. 28 September 2016: Dude, you're never going to be more than a friend. If you were you would be already.
I know you're not going to want to be you need to block the dude and get on with your life or you're never going to get over him.
I know exactly how you ... (read in full...)
Its been 18 months since my husband passed away, is it too soon to start dating?
Q. I started dating my husband when I was 16, we dated for 8 years and were married for 10 and had three children together. In April 2015 he was killed in a car accident then he hit a moose. It turned my life upside down. He was the only guy I ever ...
A. 28 September 2016: I'm so sorry to hear you've had to go through that experience.
Remember, YOU'RE the one in the world on dating, YOU decide when you're ready to date, YOU decide who you're dating and YOU decide who your kids come and don't come into contact ... (read in full...)
Was she hinting that she wants me?
Q. My female friend sugguested that I masturbated then openly admitted she does it. Was she hinting that she wants me or am I misreading the situation? Basically I was saying I was having trouble sleeping and she was like why don't you go masturbat...
A. 28 September 2016: I don't think that's hinting that she wants you. I think she's giving you some advice to help you sleep as some people feel very tired after they ejaculate.... (read in full...)
I'm dating a new guy but emotionally still tied to my ex
Q. I was dating a guy off and on for about 2 years. I know a part of me will love him forever, or at least I think so. Our relationship was not the most healthy. Lots of fighting,drama, and he had some narcissistic tendencies.It was like a roller ...
A. 27 September 2016: I have a pretty much identical situation to yourself at the moment. I'm finding it pretty challenging at some points too although I'm not dating anyone else, just dealing with getting over the person.
You need to cut all contact. Block him on e... (read in full...)
I can't stop wondering about her
Q. Everything my logical brain thinks of says DO NOT CONTACT HER, yet I still want to know how she's doing. I want to know if she is doing well. Obviously this is about my ex'. Im curious and hoping she's doing well. I can list a number a of reas...
A. 27 September 2016: Not worth it.
Who knows what would happen? She might not even be happy to hear from you.... (read in full...)
Partner no longer enjoys lovemaking and it is becoming a dealbreaker
Q. Hey all, I've been with my partner for 2 and a half years now and for the first while our sex life was crazy good. We were both on exactly the same page with the things we were into and the high sex drive we both had. One day it was really sore for...
A. 26 September 2016: You need to be honest with her mate, 2 years is a very long time to wait for something like that so fair play to you to be honest.
There's a lot of things that are deal breakers in relationships with sexual compatibility being one of then.
... (read in full...)
He always wants to hang out but then starts talking about other girls. Where do I stand with him?
Q. So a couple months ago i met a nice guy at a friends party. We hit it off since that night and exchanged numbers and have been talking ever since. We've gone on several dates now and hang out often. He always seems to send me mix signals. He always ...
A. 26 September 2016: Have you actually been on 'dates' or have you just hung out? He might just be asking you to places as a friend. Has he specifically said it's a date?
Because speaking to someone you actually like about other girls doesn't seem very likely. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if an ex genuinely wants you back or just wants attention/validation?
Q. I just had a recent experience with an ex who came back in my life after a year and 7 months of No contact. He immeditely started dating someone else after we broke up.He sent me a message on Facebook just saying he would love to hear from me and ...
A. 25 September 2016: Block him. Cut all contact.
You're probably right that he was newly single and he knew he would be able to use you to keep him occupied until he found someone else.
He sounds like a waste of time.... (read in full...)
I don't want to cut all contact with him. But he has been distant with me ever since I asked if he was interested in anything serious. What do I do now?
Q. Hi everyone. I hope someone can shed some light on my situation. Recently, due to a change in jobs, my weekends are free, giving me more time to go out and socialise. Back in April, I went out to a local pub with my best friend where I bump...
A. 25 September 2016: I agree with Cindy.
OP wants a relationship, the guy in question does not. I don't think spending time basically going on dates would be likely to change that, or as already stated they would more than likely be in a relationship.... (read in full...)
I don't want to cut all contact with him. But he has been distant with me ever since I asked if he was interested in anything serious. What do I do now?
Q. Hi everyone. I hope someone can shed some light on my situation. Recently, due to a change in jobs, my weekends are free, giving me more time to go out and socialise. Back in April, I went out to a local pub with my best friend where I bump...
A. 23 September 2016: If he wanted something serious you guys would be together, end of.
Unless you want to continue being his booty call then you need to cut contact.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid if I get too close to this lovely man that I might cheat on my boyfriend
Q. I met a guy yesterday and he bought me lunch. I like him I find him attractive and I think he feels the same about me. We agreed yesterday that we will meet again today at some volunteering project but when he arrived I only greeted him and stayed ...
A. 22 September 2016: If you're tempted to cheat then stay away from him, pretty simple.
If you don't want to be with your boyfriend anymore then break up with him and date the new guy.... (read in full...)
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
Q. I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
A. 20 September 2016: Glad you guys enjoyed it.... (read in full...)
Would the average guy spend 1.5 hours in a store or was he lying?
Q. Is it possible for a guy - your boyfriend - to be in a store for 1.5 hours??? The same store??? He was out for awhile and I asked him about it and he said he was at an auto parts store for that long. He said he was browsing. That there were lots ...
A. 20 September 2016: This has to be a troll. If it isn't then I've never known trust issues like it. Absolute madness ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to break this off?
Q. Hi guys, This could be a bit of a long one but ill try not to waffle too much. Bit of a backstory: Got myself into a huge pickle with a girl, we're not speaking anymore but we were doing for 2 years, it started out both of us wanting somethin...
A. 19 September 2016: Thank you for the advice ladies it was all very helpful.
I'm going to sleep on it and have a think whether it's worth the message for final closure or to just leave it.... (read in full...)
Hold on to hope or let it go?
Q. I met this guy on line and we hit if off really well. He said he was open to the possibility of a relationship and I'm looking for a relationship. I know his situation is not ideal, as he's been divorced for 18 months and currently looking for work ...
A. 19 September 2016: The only way you'll be able to put yourself at ease is by asking him. If you see this having long term potential then it's really not an unreasonable request to ask where you stand with him being away for over a month, especially if you're feeling ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to break this off?
Q. Hi guys, This could be a bit of a long one but ill try not to waffle too much. Bit of a backstory: Got myself into a huge pickle with a girl, we're not speaking anymore but we were doing for 2 years, it started out both of us wanting somethin...
A. 19 September 2016: I don't think the title fits the question I was trying to get across. It's more along the lines of am I being bitter by not being more friendly now that things are over?
The situation has 100% come to an end and there's no possibility of us getti... (read in full...)
I'm married. Should I be trying to contact my school crush from many years ago?
Q. Hi I'm about to reach my 30. I'm married and have a child. Living life happily with lovable wife. Recently, I got the contact of a girl who was my classmate in middle school. I had a crush on her but it was untold as my family moved out of tow...
A. 18 September 2016: Just reading the title is enough to answer.
No. You are married, stop talking to this woman from your past.... (read in full...)
I met up with someone from a dating site, didn't like her and don't know how to tell her
Q. There is no way to say this without sounding bad but here goes: I met this girl on a dating site and she said her profile that she was looking to 'casually date with possibility of more' she even said she wants to talk 'awhile' before meeting i...
A. 17 September 2016: Just tell her you don't think you're as compatible as you first thought, you don't have to go into an in depth reasoning. All she needs to know is that you don't feel any chemistry, case closed.... (read in full...)
Meeting with the only guy in my life I never got bored of
Q. Hello agony aunts! I am 27 living in Europe. I'm asking for advice with regard to my longest crush ever. When I was 20 years old, I went into yahoo chatrooms and met D. We started chatting and just LOVED talking to him. Initially he hadnt taken m...
A. 17 September 2016: I don't think you have anything to lose really.
Worst case scenario he doesn't live up to your expectations, but then at least you tried and you can then move on with your life.
Good luck ... (read in full...)
Have I put the final nail in the coffin or is the friendship still okay?
Q. I'm friends with a female co worker. we have had out fair share of fallings out but have always made up. as it was her last day at work, I shook her hand and wished her all the best with her new adventure as she is moving to start a new job work...
A. 17 September 2016: I'm pretty sure this is the same guy that's asked this question about 6 times now. If it is, I'm very surprised she hasn't involved the police yet.... (read in full...)
How do I go back from a bad first impression?
Q. I said something without thinking and now someone at work is offended. I feel so stupid because I didn't even realise it could be offensive. But a TV presenter introduced himself to me and also made it known that he was a presenter. I didn't ...
A. 17 September 2016: Who cares if he was offended? If you didn't think you'd seen him at the time and he got the hump because you didn't know who he was then he sounds like an asshole anyways.... (read in full...)
Is it right to take a lover now?
Q. I am a twenty two year old married Indian woman. My husband has been working overseas for the last four years. He last visited me in August 2014 when we spent two weeks together I spent my twentieth birthday in December 2014 with my parents,...
A. 16 September 2016: Well you definitely don't love your husband if you're having sex with another man. If you want to get divorced then nothing is stopping you. Do whatever will make you happy.... (read in full...)
Advice: should I ask him back, or try to move on (and how?)
Q. Hi, I was with my partner for 4 years, we lived together for over 2, we broke up 5 months ago. I am rationally wondering whether the relationship should not have ended. I am hurt, which affects my job. Asking advice on whether to contact my ex an...
A. 16 September 2016: I don't think it would be a good idea. It's easy to say in your head that it would help you move on but at the same time it could break your heart all over again knowing that he's with someone else.
And you say you'd be unlikely to get an honest a... (read in full...)
I can't fall in love again..why?
Q. Since coming out of a two year long toxic relationship way back in February, I've been finding it really difficult to fall in love with anyone else. I really loved the guy I was with and still believe I feel something for him as he was my first love ...
A. 16 September 2016: You're too fixated on the idea of love, you don't fall in love one month into a relationship. It's something that people can take years to say to their partner. If you're enjoying the relationship just go with it and see where it takes you, stop ... (read in full...)
In a relationship, but kissed a friend ...
Q. I've been with my partner for over two years now, and we are totally in love with each other. The other week I met up with a friend from college and we ended up kissing, not for long though. I can't stop thinking about the moment that we had and I'm ...
A. 15 September 2016: If you're 'totally in love' then why did you kiss someone else? That's not the behaviour of someone who is in love, especially not with you telling us you may be catching feelings for this 'friend'.
I think you should own up to your boyfrien... (read in full...)
His comments to his friend about this girl make me extremely uncomfortable!
Q. Hi! My boyfriend lent me his cell phone and I found a conversation between him and his friend talking about a girl in his class, in the text he said he had a hot classmate and that he spent all class looking at her, he said he loved her face and ...
A. 14 September 2016: You could ask him about it, I meant he lent you the phone so it's not like you've gone snooping and found the info as I guess the messages weren't very hard to find.
Confront him and see what he says ... (read in full...)
Is it really wrong to pay for sex
Q. I have reading the many posts on dearcupid from men who are contemplating paying for sex. I see that most people are against it, like it is the lowest a guy can go. I am at the lowest point in my life now and it will only get worse. I have Marfan ...
A. 14 September 2016: Then what's stopping you? If you don't have much time left and you want to know what it feels like then go and do it.... (read in full...)
Is it really wrong to pay for sex
Q. I have reading the many posts on dearcupid from men who are contemplating paying for sex. I see that most people are against it, like it is the lowest a guy can go. I am at the lowest point in my life now and it will only get worse. I have Marfan ...
A. 13 September 2016: If you want to do it mate there's nothing wrong with it at all. The sex will be meaningless as its not someone that you care about, but you want to know what it's like to have sex and that's one way to do it.
Why would people look down on you? You... (read in full...)
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