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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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My dad is pissed that I don't love my boyfriend anymore?
Q. Hello. So my boyfriend and I have a complicated on and off relationship. We have been together for four years. I invited him to my birthday party thinking that my dad still doesn't like him (my dad never said a word about liking him until last ...
A. 11 July 2016: You're going out with this dude, your father isn't.
Do whatever YOU need to do. Nobody else's feelings come into this decision besides your own.... (read in full...)
How do I give up someone I know is the one?
Q. First off, true love endures. It can withstand challenges, mishaps, and crisis. The important thing is, the one you believe to be the one, has to feel the same as you do; and be willing to struggle to keep it together as much as you want to. See,...
A. 10 July 2016: This was a good read that I feel I can relate to.
Thank you ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why she cheated with a homosexual?
Q. Hi. What does it mean when that my wife has cheated me with a gay guy, and prefers gay friends?...
A. 10 July 2016: Don't remember gay people having sex with women. Sounds like an excuse ... (read in full...)
I am cheating on my current boyfriend with my ex, how do I get out o this love triangle?
Q. I need advice and please bear with me and this long post! So my boyfriend (I'll call him Oliver) and I have been together for 5 months now and we're very happy together. He's sweet as can be and he treats me like a princess. My ex (I'll call him ...
A. 10 July 2016: If you loved Oliver, Chris wouldn't even be in the equation.
If you don't know what to do then you need to break up with Oliver because it's not fair on him if he's treating you well and you're going behind his back.
If you decide to stay w... (read in full...)
I'm having trust issues with my girlfriend, is she cheating?
Q. I recently had my phone stop working, so i was using my girlfriends phone to contact people for awhile and she recieved a message of a screen shot of a message she had deleted on her phone. The message was her trying to pick up a guy she met at a...
A. 9 July 2016: Well you have evidence of her chatting this dude up but it doesn't mean to say that anything actually happened and you're never going to find out for certain because all you have is her word.
She does sound like she is acting very strangel... (read in full...)
Eight weeks pregnant. Angry abusive father to be. I'm crying a lot. What can I do?
Q. Hi I feel completely lost and don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. We have been living together and I recently found out that I'm pregnant (I am 8 weeks gone) and have decided to keep the baby. Me and my boyfriend do...
A. 9 July 2016: Short and simple, leave this man. He's abused you once and you never know if it's likely to happen again and sounds like he's the spoilt little kid with name calling and getting his ex involved.... (read in full...)
Is it me that is making women act like this?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm looking for some advice. I am a male who was abused both psychologically and physically. I am no longer in that relationship but I have been on my own for many years now. I do have difficulty in letting other people in ...
A. 7 July 2016: Sorry to hear your previous relationships have left you in this position mate.
I don't think it's your fault at all, probably just been unlucky with the females you've been speaking to. I think you did the right thing by being up front and tell... (read in full...)
Should I give in to demands for anal?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend has been bringing up sex up the butt. I feel like I don't please him enough because he keeps trying to convince me about this, but I'm clearly offended that I'm not enough. Am I over reacting and taking it personally, or ...
A. 7 July 2016: Don't do anything that you feel uncomfortable with. Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't give him the right to pressure you into carrying out his sexual fantasies.... (read in full...)
False rumor. Then cheating.I forgave him. Am I a mug? Have I done the right thing?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 16 months now. Then this weekend a rumour spread about me and another guy which wasn't true, I told my boyfriend about said rumour before it got to him by other means and he told me he believed me. He de...
A. 4 July 2016: How do you trust someone that's just cheated on you ?... (read in full...)
Is my instructor good enough?
Q. I don't know if this is allowed to be discussed on this website but I just wanted other people's opinions. I have had driving lessons for 8 months now, done around 30 hours of driving with my instructor as well as around 30 hours in my own car which ...
A. 9 June 2016: If you get a new instructor you won't start from the bottom. Let them know you've had lessons before and you'll be able to demonstrate what level you're up to and advance from there.
Best of luck with the test ... (read in full...)
Is there a bias to the answers here?
Q. I was wondering why aunts and uncles are more willing to answer questions that are related to below belly button , thresum, Fwb, F buddies, but are less likely to help on some serious questions regarding other issues? Have we gotten some preferences ...
A. 9 June 2016: I tend to answer whatever question I feel like I can give a helpful input on, if I don't then I don't try to force myself to.
I also think everyone has different interpretations of a serious question.
... (read in full...)
Have I lost my chance? I don't know what I want in life
Q. Hello , my problem is i dont know what i want in life in an ideal world i would like to get married and have children but i fear doing that . Im 36 and still live at home with my parents my dad isnt well so i help out a lot , i had a girlfrie...
A. 9 June 2016: If you want to be married and have kids why wouldn't you put any effort in ? That doesn't make sense.
Fair enough you're family orientated, but you're not going to meet anyone if you don't allow yourself to interact with people. ... (read in full...)
Why can't he see the potential I can see for our relationship?
Q. OK there's this guy i was seeing for about a month I'm not going to lie and tell u it was amazing or anything but we got on great we always had a laugh and he always went on about how much he liked me and we even spoke about a future together. so ...
A. 8 June 2016: If he's using a 25 minute distance as a reason to break up then he's looking for any reason to get out of the relationship, as it's a pretty terrible excuse.
... (read in full...)
One week into the relationship, now that he has me, the thrill is gone for him. It's not looking good, is it?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a week now. Before that, he chased me for a year and I never gave in because I thought he was a jerk and needed to try harder. One day we had a falling out where we didn't talk for a few days, and when he met ...
A. 8 June 2016: Sounds like this is your change to dodge a bullet, take it.... (read in full...)
What would keep you from being in a relationship?
Q. What's up guys, I've been away from here for almost a year but I've had something on my mind for quite a while that I'd like to here people's opinions on why they don't want to get into relationships. I've heard this from a large number of my fri...
A. 7 April 2016: Thanks for the answers.
I've never completely shut myself off from the idea of a relationship, I've actually come close a number of times but something has always occurred for us to go our separate ways.
The latest one for me being the girl h... (read in full...)
Why do some guys lie about losing their virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together six months. Last week we talked about having sex for the first time. I asked would I be his first and he didn't answer, he just retorted by asking would he be mine. I said no, I was not a virgin. He then began ...
A. 7 April 2016: Guys find it embarrassing to be a Virgin because they're supposed to be these macho, alpha males that all females want to have sex with
I'm not going to lie I used to get embarrassed about it when I was younger, I didn't lose mine till I was 19 a... (read in full...)
What would keep you from being in a relationship?
Q. What's up guys, I've been away from here for almost a year but I've had something on my mind for quite a while that I'd like to here people's opinions on why they don't want to get into relationships. I've heard this from a large number of my fri...
A. 7 April 2016: Thanks for the answers.
I've never completely shut myself off from the idea of a relationship, I've actually come close a number of times but something has always occurred for us to go our separate ways.
The latest one for me being the girl h... (read in full...)
Have you ever seen the same person over the past few years?
Q. Have you ever seen the same person over the past few years? When I was 22 I went to my very first hookah bar with my best friend, I was having a blast! But while I was in there two guys came in and sat across from me and my best friend. They wer...
A. 7 April 2016: I think it's just coincidence more than anything. I live in a small town and have had similar things happen a few times. ... (read in full...)
So many decisions. I need help. Do I consider the guy who wants children or the guy who only wants one child?
Q. I'm 23 next month and my boyfriend is 22 next month, been together for two years this September. Issues - has only met my friends once, doesn't really show an interest in them but says they can come out camping....shows an interest in 4wdi...
A. 7 April 2016: Sounds like neither of these guys are for you, you're wanting out of your current relationship because he doesn't want as many children as you with someone else who you've obviously been speaking to in a more than platonic way for you to have been ... (read in full...)
I gave him an ultimatum, but am wondering if I’m being an idiot for giving him a last chance!
Q. Me and my current partner have been together for nearly a year now. i moved from manchester, fifty miles to be with him. we live together, our sex life is great, everything is going smoothly. we've discussed our future, kids, marriage etc. Howeve...
A. 7 April 2016: How many chances are you planning on giving him ? He's already said he won't do it anymore and you've caught him at it again. You must of heard the saying 'a leopard never changes it's spots'? I think it applies here and I don't think he's going to ... (read in full...)
I’m in love with my boss, why can’t he pick me? I’m in pain!
Q. Hi, I am a Personal Assistant and have been sleeping with my single boss for a few months. I have always had a crush on him from the beginning but I never thought that sleeping with him could happen. When we started sleeping with each other...
A. 7 April 2016: You need to find another job I think or you'll never get over him. He has stopped things because he doesn't see it as anything more than sex and he has realised it's not a good idea.... (read in full...)
My ex gave a weak excuse for breaking up
Q. Dear cupid I think my boyfriends excuse for breaking up with me is a cop out and that he won't tell me the real reason why he wanted to break up. He told me that he wanted to break up because of how neglectful I was the first 3 months of our re...
A. 7 April 2016: Sounds like a shitty excuse but it doesn't really matter at the end of the day he wanted the relationship to end for a reason and whether it was truly that we will never know.
If it was true then I agree it sounds petty considering it was so l... (read in full...)
His New GF dumped him. Why he would choose to apologize to me after all this time?
Q. I'm confused about my ex and the sincerity of his apology. He treated me terribly but ended up apologizing to me 8 months later. When I first met him, he was intially really sweet and kind towards me but after about 4 months, I discovered that ...
A. 7 April 2016: Probably because he wants to pick you up until he can find somebody else. Don't trust a word this guy has got to say, from the sound of things it wouldn't even surprise me if he's lying about his mother's illness, he sounds like an absolute prick.
... (read in full...)
How do I fall out of love?
Q. Hi, So I need help falling out of love. I feel very strongly for a girl and, for reasons I won't divulge here, there is absolutely zero chance of having a relationship with her. Any advice on falling out of love? Thanks in advance....
A. 7 July 2015: Are you still speaking to this girl or not? If so, I'd cut contact. I know, it ducks, but you're not going to make any progress if you're still speaking to her.
The main thing is to give it time, it's not going to be quick or easy. Keep yourself... (read in full...)
A close friend told me that my boyfriend isn't a good guy!
Q. A close friend of mine recently told me that my bf isn't a good guy!he said he s very mean and took his friendship for granted and took advantage of his friendship. he is telling me not to have a relationship with him as he might cheat on me or take ...
A. 29 April 2015: Has your bf ever given you a reason to not trust him?
Are you sure your friend isn't trying to break you guys up because he likes you?
We need more information. ... (read in full...)
What can I say or do? My libido is irksome for my Bf. Recently his persistence has led to doing things that made me uncomfortable.
Q. Ive been in a relationship for almost 4 years now and for the most part everything is great. However, when I started on birth control my sex drive decreased dramatically and when I switched from the pill to the implant it didn't get much better....
A. 25 April 2015: You need to straight up tell him that it isn't happening and that it's final. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that he's entitled to sex whenever he feels like it. I understand it must be frustrating for him, but he needs to ... (read in full...)
He cheated and I really don't know if I can forgive him, or not. What should I do?
Q. So, my boyfriend and I went into a relationship quickly; we've only been together for five months. However, we were close friends for ages before we got together and we both developed feeling for one another before we got together, so we didn't see ...
A. 25 April 2015: You trust a guy that cheated on you because he told you the day after? That sounds incredibly naive I'm afraid to say.
Maybe he is sorry, maybe he does regret it, but it's done. He has cheated on you, would you like to continue a relation... (read in full...)
How can I convince myself that this is my mind playing games? Or is my FWB interested in another?
Q. My FWB and I have being seeing each other for a year now. I'm Starting to fall for him and I ADORE him. I don't know if he feels the same but I'm too scared to tell him how I feel. For a while I've always had issues with jealousy and recently he...
A. 25 April 2015: This guy can do as he pleases, neither of you are tied to each other so you can't really complain or get mad at him even if he is talking to this other girl.
You either tell him how you feel and get a straight answer whether he wants to be toget... (read in full...)
Can a marriage last if only one side is in love with the other?
Q. Ok so I've got in to a big mess and take full responsibility and need some advice. Please don't judge me as I hate myself enough right now..... 8 years ago I met a wonderful man whilst visiting some friends in another part of the UK. We hit it o...
A. 25 April 2015: You've mentioned a few times you don't feel the same as you did when you first got together with him, therefore to marry this man when you don't love him would be the most selfish thing you could do.
You need to tell this man immediately how you ... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend agree to come to a fetish club with me?
Q. I've been with my girl for 6 years now.She knows about my fetish for rubber clothing. We do normal things together ,like cinema, restaurants. But I want to experience a fetish club, which she's not into.I've asked her to go with me, just once is ...
A. 18 April 2015: It's not unfair to ask, but it is unfair not to respect her decision.... (read in full...)
Should I respond or was she giving me the brush off?
Q. Hi, I met a girl nearly a month ago we met at a party and we've been exchanging messages ever since. She has been on holiday and came back to start a new job. I asked if she wanted to meet up again this week and she said sure what time etc. Well ...
A. 14 April 2015: Just go with the flow. Keep chatting and see what happens, if you attempt to arrange another meeting and she blows you off again I'd probably leave it.... (read in full...)
He wants casual but I want a relationship, should I give him what he wants?
Q. I feel like im loosing my mind. I met a mysterious guy and we got on so well, he told me he felt comfortable around me, making me feel relieved and srawn even cloaer to him, but recently he told me he only wanted a casual relationship.I'm 18 and ...
A. 11 April 2015: No, you will get seriously hurt.... (read in full...)
He loves porn more than he loves me. Is it normal to be so upset about this situation?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 3 years, and the whole of our relationship he has never been able to have an orgasm during intercourse. He says it was the same with his previous partners and it's not just me. But he is the only per...
A. 30 March 2015: I have had this problem for a LONG time. Out of 17 girls only 2 have ever been able to orgasm. The first girl I slept with and the one that I'm currently sleeping with.
I think a lot of this was due to not being relaxed enough with the person I... (read in full...)
I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years but I just feel so upset. Help me please
Q. I'm in abit of a mess.. I finished a relationship with my ex girlfriend that lasted about 8 years, she was my first love, we were like soul mates. Unfortunately, over the last year or so we argued and issues began to arise, I started to think that ...
A. 21 March 2015: Chin up mate, try to keep yourself as busy as possible to keep your mind occupied. Try to spend time with your mates as time spent alone will let your mind wander.
Try not to do anything that will remind you of your ex or you'll keep going ba... (read in full...)
It was pre-arranged. So why would my FWB come to my house to tell me "no" to having sex that evening?
Q. Thanks for taking the time to read this question. Basically, my fwb came around the other day and after we had gotten into bed and started kissing and what not she told me we wouldn't be having sex that evening. Obviously I was kinda like wha...
A. 16 March 2015: Thank you Cindy, as ever that was an interesting insight which I seem to have overlooked.... (read in full...)
It was pre-arranged. So why would my FWB come to my house to tell me "no" to having sex that evening?
Q. Thanks for taking the time to read this question. Basically, my fwb came around the other day and after we had gotten into bed and started kissing and what not she told me we wouldn't be having sex that evening. Obviously I was kinda like wha...
A. 15 March 2015: Haha not the first time I've had that greeting from you Cindy!
I do tend to overthink things a bit which is a tad annoying. I'll just let this slide and see if the behaviour continues or not. Like you guys said probably just an off night.
... (read in full...)
It was pre-arranged. So why would my FWB come to my house to tell me "no" to having sex that evening?
Q. Thanks for taking the time to read this question. Basically, my fwb came around the other day and after we had gotten into bed and started kissing and what not she told me we wouldn't be having sex that evening. Obviously I was kinda like wha...
A. 15 March 2015: Yeah we've both been tested recently. I don't think it's anything to do with her past bf, we've been having sex for months now, this isn't the first time.
She doesn't strike me as a girl to see multiple people at once and she told me at the star... (read in full...)
It was pre-arranged. So why would my FWB come to my house to tell me "no" to having sex that evening?
Q. Thanks for taking the time to read this question. Basically, my fwb came around the other day and after we had gotten into bed and started kissing and what not she told me we wouldn't be having sex that evening. Obviously I was kinda like wha...
A. 15 March 2015: To the anon,
SHE was the one that didn't want anything serious and reminded me that this was only casual. I wouldn't say that me following a fwb as expected would be me treating her as an 'unpaid prostitute'
Thanks for the input chi girl, ... (read in full...)
I think she's perfect for me but she wants to be friends for now
Q. I met this girl at work. Started talking to her I never thought we would like each other I was just making friends... in a short period of time (around 5 6 weeks) I ended up liking her. Alot. I never mentioned to or tried to it just happened. We ...
A. 25 December 2014: Dude, I'm in the exact situation and in fact had a pretty in depth convo with the chick regarding it last night in fact.
Not going to be what you want to hear but you need to bin it off mate. It's not going anywhere or else she would be with you... (read in full...)
Can steroids and ice be reason for cheating?
Q. Hi I'm going through a tough experience. My partner and I were in an amazing rship for almost 2 years everything was perfect we were best friends and lovers n I couldn't fault him and then things changed n he was snorting ice and taking steroids.. ...
A. 30 October 2014: It could be....but why does it matter? He's still cheated on you.... (read in full...)
Should I Be Annoyed With My Boyfriends Mum?
Q. I am a bit annoyed with my boyfriends mum. My boyfriends brother had a kid some months ago and his mum has that kids photo on her phone as a wallpaper instead of mine. I had my baby but she has not changed the photo from being of that other kid. ...
A. 7 September 2014: You're avoiding speaking to someone because of a picture on a phone...think that through.... (read in full...)
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