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How do I go back from a bad first impression?

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Question - (16 September 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I said something without thinking and now someone at work is offended. I feel so stupid because I didn't even realise it could be offensive. But a TV presenter introduced himself to me and also made it known that he was a presenter. I didn't recognise him in real life. He looks so different! I said "oh I don't think I've watched your show" and he was offended and I got a heads up from a team member that I should never say that again. It was only when it was too late that I realised I DID watch him. How do I come back from this? I feel like I've made the worst first impression or is he just being too arrogant and expecting everyone to know him straight away?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 September 2016):

Honeypie agony auntEh, so what?

You didn't recognize him BIG freaking deal. Girl, all you did was bruise his "wittle" ego. Don't feel bad about that. Maybe he is used to being "fawned" over.

When I worked in London (at a big 5 star hotel) we had MANY famous guests, some I recognized others I didn't. I treated all out guests with the same level of respect, politeness, and courteousness.

Don't lose any sleep over it. If you met him again pretend you don't really recall the conversation. Treat him like any other co-worker. Who knows if he isn't a fragile egocentric person he might actually appreciate it. And if he can't, his loss....

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (17 September 2016):

llifton agony auntWow, yeah, he sounds like a smug, arrogant asshole. I wouldn't even worry about it or give it second thought. Someone seemingly so vain and arrogant deserves to be knocked down a few notches in my perspective. Can't imagine behaving that way.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (17 September 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt But are you sure he was actually offended ? How do you know ?

Maybe he was just surprised that you did not recognize him, since people generally does. But I don't think that even the most conceited Tv presenter cannot figure out that yes, there are millions of people who do not watch his show, or do not watch TV at all. He should be a big idiot to be actually " offended "- after all he is a TV presenter, not the Pope or Obama !( who would not be offended either, anyway , I bet ).

I agree that what you said is - not offensive, but somewhat goofy. Not because you should be careful to never puncture some self proclaimed hot shot's ego,- but based on " if you can't say anything nice don't say anything ". What contribution telling him that you never watched his program added to your interaction , or to a cordial atmosphere ? It was totally superfluous - next time , if you want to be gracious , say something kind and noncommittal " I have heard it's a very successful program " or else... just say " very pleased to meet you ", you can't go wrong with that.

Anyway it is not something that you have to lose any sleep over, I doubt this TV guy is still piqued if he ever was, or that he is even remembering your exchange by now.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (17 September 2016):

N91 agony auntWho cares if he was offended? If you didn't think you'd seen him at the time and he got the hump because you didn't know who he was then he sounds like an asshole anyways.

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (17 September 2016):

fishdish agony auntI mean...he sounds self-absorbed and obnoxious, and I would brush this off as a one-off. I've had similar (probably worse) experiences in the workplace, where I say something without thinking or knowing my audience. BUT, take this as a lesson that you should be familiar with people who are in your industry. Unless you're not in media/entertainment at all and this was just a random occurrence?

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