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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 17 March 2017: That is NOT your problem. He is manipulating you. If you have evidence of him saying this then show it to the police so that he can get the help he needs, this is not for you to deal with.... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 9 February 2017: Wow, you need to leave IMMEDIATELY.
This will not get better. He's lowered your confidence to a point where you feel like you can't cope without him. Who gives a fuck if he apologised?? That is assault and against the law, this is only going to... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 20 November 2016: Stop letting him guilt trip you. Whatever he does is his own problem, staying with him for the sake of things is worse that breaking up with him imo.
He's a wreck and a very weak person. He needs to emotionally blackmail you to stay with him. You... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 19 November 2016: Listen, he is manipulating you. You're not happy with this guy and you know you're not, you're not doing anything wrong. You guys just aren't a good match for each other and the very fact that he's threatening to kill himself shows he's mentally ... (read in full...)
Had enough. What now? I'm honestly so ready to run, but I truly love my husband.
Q. My husband and refuses to stand up for me when it comes to his crazy family. I was harassed during my husband's deployment. I have been through hell and back and defended my husband but I can't get the same in return. I always thought he would...
A. 19 November 2016: Remember what you're trying to encourage this man to do.....basically cut off his FAMILY. I don't think many people would do that in a heartbeat so no wonder you're coming up against resistance from him.
Just stop concerning yourself with his fami... (read in full...)
Ex took my past and threw it in my face. Does he have the right to do that?
Q. I don't really like to talk about my past because I've done things that I'm not proud of. I spent a few years in counseling. I had a drinking problem and an anger problem. It all stemmed from an assault i experienced, as well as being in an abusive ...
A. 19 November 2016: No, he wasn't right to do that which makes me think that he's not a nice person. He's trying to make YOU feel bad, by being an asshole himself in the process. You deserve better than that.
Look, everyone has done things they're not proud of, it's... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is flirting with my best friend and I'm worried about what will happen
Q. I have a problem...my girlfriend is flirting with my best friend..i know they don't have nothing right now but they are too close to each other...and they hide things to me..it hurts because they think I'm the bad guy..it just that it hurts to...
A. 19 November 2016: Can you give us examples? This is a little vague.
Maybe you need to question whether this girl and your friend are the right people to have in your life. If you both love each other as much as you say then there shouldn't be any competit... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to work on our relationship he just wants to please himself
Q. Hello so i have a question i have been with my highschool sweet heart for 20 years things have not been good lately i have tried talking to him about how im feeling and maybe how we can fix our relationship but he says everything is fine with him ...
A. 19 November 2016: He sounds very, very selfish. As auntybimbim said he's got no interest whatsoever in trying to improve the relationship so you'd be best off kicking his lazy ass out the door.
You'll find someone who won't give you this stress.... (read in full...)
I feel strung along. How do I let go of him?
Q. Hey, okay so, I have been talking to this guy for 3/4 years who I met at college. We have met a handful of times but we haven't met in over a year but we still text, all day everyday and have done for 3/4 years. If we go without one day without ...
A. 19 November 2016: If you've not gottn together in 4 years of speaking then it's not looking like you ever will do. He knows how you feel and he's doing nothing about it so let's be realistic here. He can tell you everything in the world how he likes you back, but ... (read in full...)
She said she loved me and then completely blocked me. That isn't love is it?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 5 months. By both of our accounts it was pretty much the most idyllic relationship either of us had ever been in. The most we ever disagree about was where we were going to get dinner. We never ...
A. 19 November 2016: It was a terrible way of going about things but her friend has given you a reason why, Whether it's legit or not, who knows? But you've no other choice but to keep moving forwards. You could decide to wait for her and see whether she comes back, I ... (read in full...)
My husband is chatting to girls on xbox and facebook. I've asked him not to but he keeps adding girls!
Q. Hi there My husband and I have been married just over a year now. He has been on the xbox chatting to girls I told him I didn't mind him chatting to them on the xbox as long as it stays to the xbox, I don't feel that it's appropriate for ...
A. 19 November 2016: Well he's ignored your request to stop messaging females after it makes you uncomfortable, so where do you draw the line now? Doesn't sound like he's any plans to knock in on the head any time soon, so does it would lik his guy respects you?... (read in full...)
Long distance friend always says he wants to see me and then goes cold. Should I pursue?
Q. Hello, For the last 5:6 years, I met this guy on a dating website. We were in and out of talk for this time. We would have times we would talk and then not talk for months and talk again. We have so much in common and we both really want to m...
A. 19 November 2016: If he really wanted to see you, I'm pretty sure he could of managed at least one day in the past 6 years. He likes having you around to chat to in between other girls he's meeting.
I was in the army for just under 3 years and I'll tell you now ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is too controlling and I feel like running away
Q. I've been in a relationship with a girl for 3 years now. I lost my job 3 months ago. I've been busy Monday through Friday teaching part-time and learning some new stuff. I told her that I'd be hanging out with my friends on a Friday's night. She ...
A. 19 November 2016: If you're doing nothing at all to find a job then she may have a point, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. You need time to relax and chill with your friends and if she's not giving you that freedom then you're more than welcome to tell her ... (read in full...)
For me, its not "just a kiss"!
Q. Hi I could use some help. Recently I've just started to doubt a lot of things regarding myself and my future, but this one's going to be about a guy. So there's this guy that im really interested in at work. Infact, I'm possibly falling in love with ...
A. 18 November 2016: Why don't you ask him out then? He's had plenty of time to offer a date to you.... (read in full...)
Does this guy have a girlfriend? I'm so confused!
Q. There is this guy who I used to date and have sex with, and all of a sudden, I saw a bunch of things that raise the question: Does this guy have an official girlfriend? -Firstly, he posted a picture on IG with a girl on Halloween and she commente...
A. 18 November 2016: Sounds like theyre together, but what's stopping you asking him to make sure?... (read in full...)
For me, its not "just a kiss"!
Q. Hi I could use some help. Recently I've just started to doubt a lot of things regarding myself and my future, but this one's going to be about a guy. So there's this guy that im really interested in at work. Infact, I'm possibly falling in love with ...
A. 17 November 2016: No I think it's good that you don't want a random hook up and you know what you want from your next love interest.
However, I don't think this guy at work is going to be that special person you're looking for. Why you ask? Because like you said... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends
Q. Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...
A. 17 November 2016: To be fair if you didn't make the mistake of adding her this situation wouldnt of arose, so you can't complain 'you're sick of it' because it reared it's head because YOU were snopping her Facebook.
Just put the situation to bed, both of you stop... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends
Q. Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...
A. 17 November 2016: To be fair if you didn't make the mistake of adding her this situation wouldnt of arose, so you can't complain 'you're sick of it' because it reared it's head because YOU were snopping her Facebook.
Just put the situation to bed, both of you stop... (read in full...)
Everytime I turn around she needs money.
Q. I am currently in a LDR and it has become frustrating how financially dependent she has become. We were in this situation when we lived in the same town, however, I was living at home and didn't pay any bills while working. Now I am living on my own ...
A. 17 November 2016: Why doesn't she use her own money to give to her family? What does she do with her own funds?
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean she's allowed your money whenever she asks for it. You can say no to her.
If you let her treat yo... (read in full...)
My ex friend is giving out my number to everyone until I apologize
Q. On Halloween I had a falling out with a couple friends when I got kicked out of a frat party for not paying to get in and they ignored me for the rest of the night. For a couple days after that I was angry at them and just completely ignored their ...
A. 16 November 2016: Why would you want to be her friend anymore? She sounds like a baby.
Change your number and move on with your life without her in it.... (read in full...)
Why have her habits towards me changed so drastically?
Q. I will try and make this as short and sweet as I can. First off I just want to say that in the last couple of months I have become a very anxious person towards the woman i become enveloped with. Just 6 months ago i could care less about if a wom...
A. 16 November 2016: That's a little odd in the space of a week. Have you tried asking her why?... (read in full...)
Can two people who have been in bad relationships with others find love again?
Q. Dear Cupid, I was wondering can two people who have been in bad relationships not together but with other people turn out to be the best couple knowing their backgrounds of relationships and will they need therapy.My friend and I are going to give ...
A. 16 November 2016: Of course you can.
Ensure that you're both fully over whatever it was that plagued your last relationship though as to not bring into your new one and start with a clean slate.
... (read in full...)
Should I just got my losses and never think about what could have happened between us?
Q. Hey wondering if you can help. There's this girl I knew from my childhood, we recently bumped into each other after not seeing each other for at least 6 years and decided to go down the pub (as friends). We got on incredibly well and decided t...
A. 16 November 2016: My guess is she's not fully over her ex and she may of been using you as a distraction to get over him (maybe not). But whatever happened on this day with her ex has made her realise she's got unfinished business and not ready to get involved with ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cheated on me but claims she was taken advantage of, what do I do?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been dating for about two months now, and it's been a semi long distance relationship with her going to a different college than me about 30 minutes away. We argue here and there about little things but at the end of the ...
A. 15 November 2016: She wasn't taken advantage of, if she was that would be rape and that should be reported to the police which I'm guessing she hasn't done? I don't think many rapists take the time to put a condom on either.
She was angry that you cancelle... (read in full...)
Why have her habits towards me changed so drastically?
Q. I will try and make this as short and sweet as I can. First off I just want to say that in the last couple of months I have become a very anxious person towards the woman i become enveloped with. Just 6 months ago i could care less about if a wom...
A. 15 November 2016: If you think she's special then don't start treating this like a game about who likes who more.
How long have you been dating? There could be many reasons, you Could be right that she's lost interest, but are you still seeing her? I don't th... (read in full...)
Did indulging in a little hot texting make him reluctant to see me? He didn't show up for a date. Didn't text me to say why, either
Q. Dear cupid I was talking on text. we were getting along good and we were planning to go out our first date But he had work over time so when we start text again. So yet it again another date we set place to meet and this time he didn't sho...
A. 15 November 2016: Clear time waster, I think honeypie is spot on in suggesting he already has someone and they either found out or he had a close call and had to bail.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend admitted he hadn't thought about us living together
Q. I'm 53 and my boyfriend is 55, we're both divorced and have been dating for just over one year. We see each other about 4 times a week, talk and laugh a lot and the relationship has been great. However, I say great, but there are obviously issues ...
A. 15 November 2016: After being in a failed relationship before I think it's very possible for people to find it hard to fully give theirself to their next partner, almost as if they're trying to protect theirself from a similar experience occurring. I also don't think ... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 15 November 2016: You need to leave this guy, threatening to cut himself is NOT normal behaviour. He's saying you're overweight and need to change for HIM to want to stay with YOU.
If I had a girlfriend who dropped anything like that on me I'd be out the door and... (read in full...)
He is habitually late, and I am VERY punctual!
Q. The guy I've been dating for awhile is often late. . I'm not talking 10 minutes , I mean anywhere from 45 mins to over an hour. I'm a very punctual person so habitual latesness is my pet peeve. I've tried to tell him about this but it never goes ...
A. 15 November 2016: He isn't apologising or changing his behaviour so he's clearly not bothered. This sounds like a deal breaker for you so I think you know what the next step is.... (read in full...)
I just want to be his friend, but he is taking it slow ...
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles I met a guy a couple of months ago. We hit it off quite quickly and there is obvious chemistry between us. However, he is very hesitate to allow me to get close to him. I know there is not any one else. I know he has only...
A. 15 November 2016: I'm not sure how you can really care about him if he shows no interest back? It doesn't make a great deal of sense how you have a great chemistry but he keeps you at arms length.
If you sent that message and received no response then it's pretty c... (read in full...)
Will watching X-rated movies affect my married life?
Q. hey I am indulged in bad sex activities like watching X movies and doing all that stuff …… I want to know will it affect my married life if I continue to do so. please help me...
A. 14 November 2016: Wouldn't you rather have sex with your wife than watch porn?... (read in full...)
How to avoid being tempted?
Q. Hello, Here is an interesting one for you. I am married (with kids). My wife is very beautiful (former Miss), we have great sex - I can get it on demand, whatever I want, I think I love her, surely I wouldn't want to hurt her. Yet, I can't sto...
A. 14 November 2016: I think wiseowl and brownWolf put it brilliantly by flipping the situation if it was your wife doing it to you. Not such a nice thought anymore is it?
Sure it's easy to become bored when youre with someone for a long time, but you've given yo... (read in full...)
Our fights have become over the top!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs. On occasion, I have had to walk away and take a "break," because the arguments become so personal and heated and so incredibly loud, and I cannot stand the insults any ...
A. 14 November 2016: Seriously? Because he doesn't hit you you should know that he loves you? I'm not sure what to make of that statement.
In a nutshell I'm gonna say you guys aren't right for each other. How could you threaten not being able to marry someone that you... (read in full...)
I don’t to give my girlfriend visible hickies or love bites!
Q. Adults only please; this questions is not suitable for young readers. My gf has grown to love rough sex that leaves marks. I oblige but I draw the line at anything visible - often neck hickies or love bits. I don't want others to either see her a...
A. 14 November 2016: But she isn't a battered wife, so what's the issue? If she likes rough sex and doesn't care about the marks she has then why is there a problem?... (read in full...)
I always find the wrong guy! I'm sick of being single.
Q. I seem to have no luck with finding the right guy... Recently met a new guy on a dating site. We spoke for a few days then he asked me on a date. I accepted and we arranged a day. However, as the day got nearer, he said he had to work so we could...
A. 14 November 2016: I'm not going to sugar coat this but for someone of your age you have an air of desperation around you. What's the Rush!? You've got your whole life ahead of you. Are you really that desperate to be in a relationship? You need to relax and learn to ... (read in full...)
Should men in committed relationships be following bikini models on Instagram?
Q. I wanted to know if it's right for a man in a relationship to have Instagram followers ( him following women that are models on Instagram) lately I noticed that a lot of my male friends who are married or in relationships are always folling these ...
A. 14 November 2016: Personally, I don't see how it differs from people looking at porn, or walking down the street and checking someone out. As long as you don't act upon anything then I don't see it as a problem.
Have you ever seen another man and thought he was g... (read in full...)
I'm trying to act like his actions didn't bother me but I just can't get over him!
Q. At the moment, I have feelings for someone who has basically led me on a bit and messed me about and obviously doesn't reciprocate. I have to see him every day at work and I am trying to simultaneously stay away from him and act civilly if I have ...
A. 14 November 2016: Yes, you wait, what else can you do? Like you said you can't turn your feelings off.
You have to keep yourself busy.....try and take more responsibility on at work, join a gym, start a new hobby or spend time with friends and family you've n... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have two separate Snapchat accounts on one phone?
Q. Is it possible for your boyfriend to have two separate Snapchat accounts on one phone? Just today I went to Add Friends from contacts in my address book and I saw my boyfriend's name under another user name and it said ADD beside his name. I alre...
A. 14 November 2016: Sounds like it could be a little dodgy. I'd ask.... (read in full...)
I really want this girl. How can I get her interested in me? What do I need to do?
Q. Alright there's the same girl from my last question and I've been chasing her for the past two months now. I asked her if she liked me the same way I liked her or not because I couldn't tell and not even her friends at school knew if she liked me...
A. 13 November 2016: She's letting you down gently. She's not interested.
Respect her wishes and move on ... (read in full...)
Crush of 7 years is ignoring my hints. Should I confess my feelings to him?
Q. I've liked a guy for 7 years but I don't know how he feels. We used to be classmates but now we live in different cities so we can't meet. We communicate via text. I have kinda dropped hints but I don't know if he knowingly ignores or just doesn't ...
A. 13 November 2016: If he's not taken the hint after 7 years then I don't think he's interested.... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I'll be there if she wants to be more than friends
Q. Hi all, I'll try to keep it as short as I can but, this might get quite lengthy. So, sorry about that. Let me preface this by telling you that my first serious relationship ended about a year and a half ago (it was my fault), though we still c...
A. 12 November 2016: Personally I don't think she's ready for her next relationship.
What makes me think this is mainly where you said you liked her and she just acknowledged it but didn't say anything back. I think when people are talking before they get together... (read in full...)
Do I wait it out or make a move? I don't want to be rejected
Q. wait it out or just make a move I do like him...well .... he looks to be about 36, im 32 female but I look young.....anyway he stares at me and smiles with all 32 teeth showin, (he is fluffy, im normally not into teddy bear type men, b...
A. 12 November 2016: If you never ask you'll be wondering what if forever. Wouldn't you rather just ask and find out whether he's interested?... (read in full...)
The girl I love, loves my best friend
Q. So I like a girl in my school, and were both sophomores. I've liked her since freshman year and I have tried literally everyday to ask her out, and now she has a boyfriend. I would ask her out even if she had a boyfriend but a problem that I have ...
A. 12 November 2016: You need to remove yourself from the situation. You can't just go around asking girls out who have boyfriends, let alone when it's your best friend, that's extremely disrespectful and nothing good will come of it.
When you value a girl higher t... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends
Q. Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...
A. 12 November 2016: Keep Facebook out of relationships, nothing good ever comes of it.... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I'll be there if she wants to be more than friends
Q. Hi all, I'll try to keep it as short as I can but, this might get quite lengthy. So, sorry about that. Let me preface this by telling you that my first serious relationship ended about a year and a half ago (it was my fault), though we still c...
A. 12 November 2016: I agree with chi girl, I was waiting for the point in the question where you said you kissed her but it never came. You don't ask for things like that, you do it when the moment feels right, but you never did.
IMO I think women see you as not bein... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I'll be there if she wants to be more than friends
Q. Hi all, I'll try to keep it as short as I can but, this might get quite lengthy. So, sorry about that. Let me preface this by telling you that my first serious relationship ended about a year and a half ago (it was my fault), though we still c...
A. 12 November 2016: I agree with chi girl, I was waiting for the point in the question where you said you kissed her but it never came. You don't ask for things like that, you do it when the moment feels right, but you never did.
IMO I think women see you as not bein... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 11 November 2016: I'm not sure what you'll regret about breaking up with this guy. You'll find another boyfriend one day that loves everything about you and you'll look back on this guy and think what an absolute asshole, as that's what he sounds like.... (read in full...)
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