A
female
age
26-29,
*eilta
writes:So a couple months ago i met a nice guy at a friends party. We hit it off since that night and exchanged numbers and have been talking ever since. We've gone on several dates now and hang out often. He always seems to send me mix signals. He always texts me and wants to hangout but then he will start talking about other girls to me. So how can i ask him where we stand? I would like to start that conversation but im so lost about how to go about it. I just would like to know if he sees me more than a friend or just a friend.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 September 2016):
 Are you sure these are dates and not just hang outs? If there is nothing sexual between you then he might just see you as a friend and you have your wires crossed.
If you do make out or are being sexual and he is talking about other girls then I think he is trying to make it clear to you that this is casual.
Either way I think you need to either be honest with him about how you feel or else just end this thing and find someone who wants to be with you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 September 2016):
 And what do you do when you hang out ? anything sexual ? If yes, he is telling you " Don't get any ideas ". It's like he's wearing a T-shirt with " This is casual ! " on.
If you are just going out as friends, I am more perplexed. It could be that he just likes your company and wants to keep things friendly and non-romantic. Or maybe,( considering the age bracket, in which a bit of clumsiness shows up often ), out of insecurity , he is sort of tryng to make himself look good in your eyes, by hinting that he is popular and sought after by other women.
But, he should know better.
I admit that I am from a generation when men instinctively knew that's not too polite talking about other women when you are out with a lady- even in a totally platonic contest, like two good colleagues out for after work drinks. SHE, the one who is with you, is your companion for the evening, even if is clear that the evening would never end up in bed ; and she does not particularly need or care to know how much you like X's ass or Y's legs ; let's stick to the point, please, which is to offer good company and give attention to the woman who is right there with you . I admit that maybe this is an old fashioned view, anyway , from my point of view... I could easily give him a miss. Either he took you for his best male buddy, or - he is a tool and needs to hone up greatly his social skills.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (26 September 2016):
 Have you actually been on 'dates' or have you just hung out? He might just be asking you to places as a friend. Has he specifically said it's a date?
Because speaking to someone you actually like about other girls doesn't seem very likely. Unless he's doing it to make you jealous and he's trying to sense how you would feel knowing he's seeing other people.
If you like him then ask him how he feels. That way you have your answer and can move forward and stop wasting your time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2016):
 I don't think he sees you as more than a friend. And IF he did, don't you feel it's a bit of a dickweed move to talk about other girls?
Would you really want to date a guy who is still actively looking for another girl? Any girl?
So my advice, if you have sex when you "hang out" stop that. And when he asks why, tell him you don't mix sex and friendship and you feel he is treating you like a friend, not a BF.
If you guys are no having sex yet, don't start, unless you two have had a chat and are in an exclusive relationship,
I don't think he would make a stellar BF if he is chasing others girls too. Just saying.
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