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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I've agreed to be friends, but he is pulling away from me.
Q. So, there is this guy i used to deal with but now we are supposed to be friends. He has been begging me for friendship for the longest once we established that our relationship couldn't go any further due to our military rankings. Initially,, i was ...
A. 7 November 2016: Have you straight up asked him to tell you how he's feeling? If you've done that then I think it may be time to just cut contact with him and move on. If you've given him the chance to come clean and he's just taking the piss then you might be ... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating keeps asking for sex
Q. Hello. Looking for some advice. I have been single for 17 years and dating the last eight years. Have had a few relationships that lasted six months. I have had a lot of bad luck in relationships. Seems like men don't want a serious relationship. ...
A. 3 November 2016: He sounds like a bit of a dick to be honest. I've never heard of anyone openly asking when they're going to be having sex after knowing each other for two weeks. I think you know this is all he is after, if I were you I'd be cutting contact with ... (read in full...)
If you find yourself having messed up badly, how can you stop beating yourself up? and will God or the universe send the right person(s) your way without you being prepared?
Q. I met a great guy over a month or so ago and I blew it from the very beginning. I made a mistake by not respecting myself enough and made myself look like a low-value woman in his eyes by my actions and choices. I guess I didn't even realize my ...
A. 2 November 2016: Honestly, it's not the end of the world is it?
Yes it hurts for someone you like to move on but that means you weren't made for each other anyways. If you were then he wouldn't be dating someone else now would he? Whatever you did he saw it as so... (read in full...)
I've agreed to be friends, but he is pulling away from me.
Q. So, there is this guy i used to deal with but now we are supposed to be friends. He has been begging me for friendship for the longest once we established that our relationship couldn't go any further due to our military rankings. Initially,, i was ...
A. 2 November 2016: Maybe he doesn't know how to deal with the feelings? How do you feel about him? If the feeling is unrequited then he may feel a sort of resentment towards you which is quite common as he's upset you don't feel the same.
I think you need to put i... (read in full...)
Has she blocked me and cut off all ties? She seems to have dropped off the face of the earth!
Q. Okay i met this girl over a month ago everything was going great ! i found out the girl i was seeing was engaged or atleast that was what facebook said to her roomate who is a girl/her best friend. we had soo much fun together and the connection was ...
A. 2 November 2016: Yeah, that's exactly what's happened.
If she's already in a relationship then it's really not worth getting in the middle of. You've not known her a great deal of Tim so just cut your loses and move on.... (read in full...)
I may have lost the love of my life and perfect girl to commitment phobia! Now that I want her back, she's completely blanked me out!
Q. I think Ive ruined things with the love of my life Ive been with my girl 8 years since school she's absolutely stunning that's why I fancied her initially I just wanted to have sex with her but we were 16 she ended up making me wait 8 months a...
A. 1 November 2016: You've let your mates get inside your head. If you know you want to marry her then why would you say no? It makes no sense. Moving in with your girlfriend is not the end of your life, it doesn't mean you could never see your mates anymore or do any ... (read in full...)
I've agreed to be friends, but he is pulling away from me.
Q. So, there is this guy i used to deal with but now we are supposed to be friends. He has been begging me for friendship for the longest once we established that our relationship couldn't go any further due to our military rankings. Initially,, i was ...
A. 31 October 2016: This guy doesn't want to be friends and as you said could very well be in love with you. I think you need to decide what you want out of him for yourself and if it's only friends then I believe it's time to cut contact with him as it will only end ... (read in full...)
I think he's selfish for taking viagra!
Q. I just found out my husband has been taking Viagra. He's 63 I'm 57. What makes me upset is that he should have talked to me about it, and I have not wanted sex for years. Been together 32 years and we've been having sex twice a week for last few ...
A. 31 October 2016: Sounds like you guys are no longer sexually compatible which can be a deal breaker. I think you both need to have a serious conversation about your options as you shouldn't have to have unwanted sex, but he also shouldn't have to request it. ... (read in full...)
I've always felt like my B/f fancied me but now I feel from his choice in porn that he fancied his ex more!
Q. My boyfriend has unknowingly dented my self esteem recently, although he's hurt my feelings he hasn't done it on purpose. I'm not sure telling him would be a good idea. I can't stand arguing! I've started watching porn with him, I've never had a...
A. 31 October 2016: I don't necessarily think porn is always classed as a fantasy. Literally something to watch to speed up the process of getting off. You said yourself you watch lesbian porn but don't want to be a lesbian, so why don't you answer to us why you watch ... (read in full...)
I've never had feelings like this before, but I'm getting whiplash!
Q. Ok, so here it is: A couple months ago i met this guy, and it was instant attraction from both sides. Physical attraction that i have NEVER felt before, but what was strange is that there was the emotional attraction as well. We are very good ...
A. 31 October 2016: Well firstly, this guy has a girlfriend so you shouldn't really be getting involved with each other anyways. Did this not give any red flags that he's willing to cheat?
Look, you always want what you can't have, when someone pours their heart ou... (read in full...)
High heels during sex...yay or nay?
Q. This question is for you women out there. I really want to know if high heels are a sexual turn on for you girls or not? I love them and I want my wife to wear them every time during sex. But she doesn't!! It's the single most sexual turn on for me. ...
A. 31 October 2016: If she doesn't want to do it then respect your wife's wishes. Just because you're married to her doesn't mean she has to do everything you ask.... (read in full...)
Can anyone deceipher what her actions mean?
Q. i was looking down and doing my work and then when I looked up I saw the girl i liked looking at me and smiling then she looked down at my chest while still smiling then she looked up at my face while still smiling so I just looked away..then ...
A. 31 October 2016: Well it sounds like you're interested in her or I don't think you'd be asking this question. Why don't you just ask her on a date and that way you'll know if she likes you or not without having to guess.... (read in full...)
How to safely store nudes on a computer and iPhone?
Q. Hey there! Thank you in advance: How to safely store nudes? My boyfriend and I are long distance and have been together for a year and a half. We meet fairly regularly and very rarely send underwear pictures because we're both insecure/self...
A. 30 October 2016: There's many apps on iPhones that use secret folders. I believe there's an app that looks like a calculator and you type in a number and it actually goes into the storage.
Search for hidden folders app or something along those lines in the stor... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 4 years cheated, I forgave and she's still cheating! I'm afraid to leave home anymore
Q. Hey guys, Im new to this kind of thing however i don't know where else to turn to for this so figured it's time to ask here. so right to it... Me and my gf have been together for over 4 years now... we've had our ups and downs like anyone el...
A. 30 October 2016: This isn't healthy.
She didn't change her ways after you caught her the first time and she doesn't seem like she has any intentions of doing so. You need to leave her because it's not going to get better.
Of course it will be hard because you... (read in full...)
I put a profile on a website and my boyfriend wanted to meet! I'm devastated
Q. Hi, Really need some advice and help, feel as if my heart is being ripped to spreads. I'm a trucker and met a wonderful gay guy 'T' 6 months ago, his into fantasy and hi viz' etc, I wasn't but went with the flow, trying to please, and get ...
A. 27 October 2016: Well you know he's open to the idea of cheating so why are you scared of losing him?
This man doesn't value you the same that you value him and that's shown by the fact he still openly uses dating sites and you've seen first hand that he's wil... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any experience of feeling "numb" after a relationship?
Q. About 2 weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me. We had been together one year and friends for 3. Everything was great in our relationship, we had lots in common and planned to spend the rest of our lives with each other. 2 weeks before we broke up we st...
A. 27 October 2016: I'm pretty sure he will miss you yes, but some people just can't deal with the agro that comes with not being trusted. I have many friends who are in on/off relationships and I really lose track of whether they're single or not because they're ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 26 October 2016: You're right, she's not interested in chatting with you, so leave her be and move on.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend made hurtful comment about my weight, sex isn't good.How do I tell him?
Q. I need a bit of guidance. I want to start by saying I'm absolutely in love with my boyfriend of almost three years. He's also been my best friend long before we ever dated. It's like a fairytale right? Not exactly. Our sex life is horrible. It...
A. 26 October 2016: I don't think he was doing it to be hurtful. At the end of the day he is your boyfriend, he finds you attractive and if you gain an amount of weight then it's not unreasonable for it to be offputting. Of course it hurts and you don't want to hear ... (read in full...)
My husband refuses to help with housework, we both work and he's become very nasty towards me
Q. Hi everyone, Just need a bit of advice and help. Me and my hubby have been married just over a year and been together for 4 1/2 years, we own our own home and have a nearly 3 year old daughter. Since we have gotten married and I have starte...
A. 26 October 2016: It seems like his plan of lowering your self confidence has worked for you to be questioning if you're doing something wrong.
Was he like this before marriage? It's very possible he could feel like he's 'trapped' you so to speak and you've n... (read in full...)
BF got caught basically cheating, he hasn't reached out?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together two years. We have had trust issues because he got a girls number on a trip, and texted her flirting throughout and I found out about it. He said he made a dumb mistake and blah blah blah if I found out about ...
A. 26 October 2016: Because he doesn't care, if he did, you wouldn't be here in the first place.
He doesn't care about your feelings, hence trying to cheat and he doesn't care that he's been caught, hence not trying to contact.
He sounds like a waste of time. Y... (read in full...)
My husband refuses to help with housework, we both work and he's become very nasty towards me
Q. Hi everyone, Just need a bit of advice and help. Me and my hubby have been married just over a year and been together for 4 1/2 years, we own our own home and have a nearly 3 year old daughter. Since we have gotten married and I have starte...
A. 25 October 2016: Do you think it's likely to get better?
I'm 99.9% sure that it won't. It doesn't sound like you can reason with him to make him aware of what he's doing and how It's making you feel.
The only suggestion I have is to look after the safety of yo... (read in full...)
Can you help? Seeking tips on how to move on when you finally realize that the love of your life is no longer available to you or no longer loves you?
Q. Hello everyone, So I’m the same guy who wrote these two posts. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/mixed-signals-from-my-crush.html http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-fwb-has-f...
A. 25 October 2016: The relationships that start out at lightening speeds are usually the ones that don't last because they're not usually based up anything solid, more just passionate and based around sex.
It hurts for a good while I'm not going to lie to you. In ... (read in full...)
I'd like to keep him as a friend but would like to know what I did wrong?
Q. Aunts/uncles Met this guy at work. Cutting long story short. He noticed me first . I did not find him attractive to begin. Then I spoke to him one day and he smiled andhe melted my heart. The flirting continued with very few words . I went on ...
A. 25 October 2016: Very bizarre behaviour which doesn't really make sense. I'd just get on with your life and ignore him from here on out.... (read in full...)
One night stand with a long term friend leads to awkward!
Q. Hi all I've been friends with A for about 10 years and due to various circumstances we haven't actually seen each other in person for about 5 years so all communication has been online. We are both very attracted to each other and went on a sort-o...
A. 25 October 2016: Yeah it's looking like it was just a one night thing but what's stopping you from messaging if you want to find out more?... (read in full...)
I cheated, ended things but not sure what to do now
Q. Im married, with two kids. I did the dumbest thing in my life. I cheated on my wife after 7 years together. I was stupid, feel like scum and have this knot in my stomach that will not go away. To make things worse, I started with a condom and som...
A. 25 October 2016: You need to tell your wife, you're really not doing her a favour, if anything you're doing her an injustice as you've betrayed your marriage vows and think it's okay to sweep under the carpet.
It should be HER decision where the relation... (read in full...)
Do I keep things to myself?
Q. First off thanks to anyone who takes the time to answer this for me!and sorry for the lengh. Some background: I have been with my boyfriend 7 years my best friend (female) started dating his best friend (male) 2 years later. I'm close with both ...
A. 25 October 2016: It's not for you to get involved in unfortunately. It's a hard situation for you to be in but it's down to him to tell her. If he wants to carry out his plans of going travelling then it will all come out eventually.... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship problems - is she as committed as I am?
Q. So i'm in a long distance relationships (different countries). To give some background info, we met while we were both living abroad and were together for about 4 months there before we returned to our own countries, and stayed together ...
A. 25 October 2016: You know her better than any of us so you'll notice if she's changed and if it feels like she has to you, then she more than likely has done.
Some people find long distance hard as you need the physical side of things in a relationship sand it'... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend doesn't put forth the effort and tells me I should find someone else
Q. Hi all, im in a relationship with a guy for 9 months now. He's 55 years old im 28 years old And he's never suggested taking me out anywhere. He has been married twice. His second wife had her own house he moved in before he got married to her, they ...
A. 25 October 2016: What do you love about him?
Sounds like a lazy, loser if I'm being honest. I think he's doing you a favour by telling you to find someone else and you're perfectly young enough to find someone who will be on the same page as you are.... (read in full...)
Married ex who I havent seen for 12 years wants to meet up to catch up
Q. Married ex who I havent seen for 12 years wants to meet up to catch up after reconnecting on facebook 2 mths ago, what does that mean? We werent really exclusive before, but just friends with benefits ( a lot of sexual connection between us) and ...
A. 25 October 2016: My guess would be his marriage isn't going too great and he needs some excitement outside his marriage. You guys were never 'friends', you were two people who used to have sex and ended on poor terms. Do you really think he's looking for friendship?... (read in full...)
We are room mates that want to date but her ex is our room mate too!
Q. Hello, just looking for some advice at to what to do as I'm currently in an awkward situation... I'm a university student in my final year and currently living with a girl who I really like. We feel the same and have spoken about it before, the only ...
A. 24 October 2016: Bit of a dodgy one to be honest. Even if he has moved on I'm sure he would be a little bit pissed off that you got together with his ex and it being rubbed in his face by living together.
May be worth looking for alternative accommod... (read in full...)
Is she into me? I just can't tell?
Q. Ok so there's this girl at school she's gorgeous, tries hard at school, works at the animal shelter, she's super nice, everything she does is just adorable, she's also really quiet and shy, she's the definition of an introvert. We're like opposites ...
A. 24 October 2016: Come on dude, I don't think she could be making it any more obvious that she's interested. Just take her on a date.
The conversation moves into menial stuff because you're not doing anything about it. You know she's shy, so let's be realisti... (read in full...)
I was the first Gf he ever had. Is he now over me? Or is he protecting his feelings?
Q. i was seeing this guy for a few months and it was going so well but we both knew that at the end of summer o had to go back to study abroad for 3 months. When I left I told him maybe we shouldn't try long distance because I really liked him and ...
A. 24 October 2016: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/will-i-lose-something-that-was-great-or.html - This is you right?
I think you need to stop wasting your time. If he cared about you he would make an effort. 3 months really isn't a long time, if I liked a girl, I ... (read in full...)
My ex flaunts his new g/f in my face but behind her back he's still in contact with me
Q. I split from my ex earlier this year and found out two weeks later that he was already with someone else (although chances are that she was already in the pipeline). My ex has rubbed his relationship with his new partner in my face- even turni...
A. 23 October 2016: hes not over you and he's using her as a rebound and like you said as something that he can rub your face in.
Block his number or else you'll never get anywhere.... (read in full...)
Can you help? Seeking tips on how to move on when you finally realize that the love of your life is no longer available to you or no longer loves you?
Q. Hello everyone, So I’m the same guy who wrote these two posts. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/mixed-signals-from-my-crush.html http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-fwb-has-f...
A. 23 October 2016: First things first, have you blocked and removed him off all social media and deleted his number? That's usually the hardest step for people as you're losing your ability to contact them. However if you don't do this and you're constantly seeing ... (read in full...)
I'm uncertain about who to date and don't know if I should wait
Q. I went on a few dates with this guy back in August. Due to him working offshore and then medical reasons, we haven't been able to get another one. He's working right now and he tries to message me every day. I do like him but lately it's been hard ...
A. 23 October 2016: If you've only managed a few dates since august do you think it would get better if you were in a relationship?
You said he turns everything sexual quickly. Does that sound like someone who is in it for the long haul? ... (read in full...)
Why does he greet me this way when we arent friends....?
Q. Dear Aunts, I am sorry for the long post but it gets easier... I promise.. Me and a guy were good friends for a year. Well, he became my friend by just "Randomly" thinking up and adding my number to his whatsapp list. He texted me and ...
A. 22 October 2016: I wouldn't even concern myself with finding out the answer, what an odd individual he sounds. Just don't add him back and forget about it.... (read in full...)
My friend found my girlfriend on a dating site
Q. I have been in an 18 month relationship with an extremely insecure girl who has been controlling, needy, and jealous of my past. I have often been aggressively accused of things that just dont exist. In spite of this difficulty, I have rode the ...
A. 21 October 2016: She's quite clearly just becoming irate because she's been caught out, if I were you I'd be running and wouldn't look back.... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 21 October 2016: To the female anon:
It's not easy to brush your teeth or shower? Am I reading that correctly?
The poster never mentioned any of the things you brought up. As far as we know, the posters boyfriend is a perfectly healthy adult male that doesn'... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 21 October 2016: I agree with female anon. I've heard of stories of people being depressed and one of the major signs is stopping looking after their hygiene. It might be worth having a talk with him and finding out how he's feeling.
On the other hand if he's fin... (read in full...)
I had two great male friends but they have dropped me as a friend! I’m heartbroken. Leave them be? Or keep trying?
Q. Hi everyone. I had two male friends and I say had because neither of them will talk to me anymore..:( Things got a bit awkward in terms of friendship because they both told me they liked me. The first one; he asked to meet up and I made ...
A. 21 October 2016: Yes you leave them alone as it would be cruel of you to keep speaking to them and possibly lead them on if you've no romantic intentions with either of them when they've told you that they like you.... (read in full...)
How do I move up this man's prioriies?
Q. I really like this guy I met through social media. we chat now and again, and then he goes quiet then suddenly he'll message me again. We talk mainly about music and I've tried to make new conversation but he goes quiet, then replies. Every new ...
A. 20 October 2016: Not a single person on this website could tell if he likes you. If you want to know that then you'll have to ask him yourself.
Suggest going out for a drink or some hung to eat, if he agrees, great he sound's interested. If it's a no, then he'... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's clothes are, 'Not acceptable to me'.
Q. Me and my gf are recently fighting over this issue that is her "Clothes". Sometimes she wears disgusting dresses which are revealing and I really don't like it. When I tell her not to wear such dresses she doesn't listen and gets agitated. The dres...
A. 20 October 2016: Nothing. You can't control what your girlfriend wears.
If it's too much for you then you break up.... (read in full...)
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