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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 17 March 2017: That is NOT your problem. He is manipulating you. If you have evidence of him saying this then show it to the police so that he can get the help he needs, this is not for you to deal with.... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 9 February 2017: Wow, you need to leave IMMEDIATELY.
This will not get better. He's lowered your confidence to a point where you feel like you can't cope without him. Who gives a fuck if he apologised?? That is assault and against the law, this is only going to... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to give another man oral sex.I am not happy with this!
Q. My boyfriend has been pressuring me into blowing another guy and I feel completely uncomfortable with the idea, I have told him this everytime he's asked and now he brings it up in the middle of sex or while he's dirty talking, I told him I'd ...
A. 26 November 2016: It's a fantasy for some men but I for one would never fancy something like this.
If he's pressuring you into things you don't want then he's not showing you any respect. Who knows where it will stop?... (read in full...)
Is she trying to avoid going out with me? Or just not interested?
Q. First I would like to give a little background on the situation (please bear with it as it is going to be long). Me and this girl in my class have been talking for a month and i liked her.A few days ago we decided to go for a movie on this sunday. ...
A. 25 November 2016: Not interested.
You told her that you like her and she said she doesn't want a relationship so it's not going anywhere. Block her and move on.... (read in full...)
I feel lonely, does it make me desperate that I want to be in a relationship?
Q. I am 21 and I have never been in a relationship. (I've never been kissed either.) it seems like men have never been attracted to me. I've lost about 60 pounds in the past year and I've gained a lot of confidence. However, I never get asked out and I ...
A. 25 November 2016: I think you're wanting a relationship for the wrong reason. I'm 25 and never had a gf and I don't feel the way you do. I just keep myself busy with work, gym and hanging out with friends. If I meet someone in the mean time, great. But I'd never sit ... (read in full...)
Should I have given this guy a third chance to meet up?
Q. This guy contacted me on a dating website and he was originally from my area. He is a good listener, has a good sense of humor, and actually knows how to use a phone unlike other guys on the website who seem to like to hide behind texts. We hit it ...
A. 24 November 2016: I'd give this one up if I were you. If he really wanted to see you he would make it so. Fair enough the first time maybe a second chance, but if he knew he was working then why didn't he book a half day or the full day off so he knew he would be ... (read in full...)
How much should I be involved with friends' love life?
Q. As I grow older I recognise things that make me hurt and angry. One of those things that trigger me is when good friends stay friends with people I dont think are nice people and are mean, Another is friends dating people i dont like, also when ...
A. 24 November 2016: OP if that is the deal in your previous question then I'm completely baffled.
You said in that question that you see it as a completely platonic relationship and would never date a housemate. Now you're saying you were in love with him for the ... (read in full...)
How much should I be involved with friends' love life?
Q. As I grow older I recognise things that make me hurt and angry. One of those things that trigger me is when good friends stay friends with people I dont think are nice people and are mean, Another is friends dating people i dont like, also when ...
A. 24 November 2016: I agree with cindy, still not enough info.
Yes you were in love with this guy, but was it sexual? Did you actually hook up? Or you just fell in love with him and he didn't know?
I don't think you can be upset with your friend if nothing actua... (read in full...)
My dad's new partner won't let him have a relationship with me. is she insecure?
Q. He cheated with her on my mother!!! Then he left her for my mother after 4 weeks of being with her and dumping my mum. Everytime me and my dad arrange to spend time together she seems to put a stop to it. My dad has to call and text me secretly ...
A. 24 November 2016: I had a very, very similar experience when I was younger and my dad got with a new partner after leaving my mum. My dad didn't have the balls to do anything about it though and I was only around 8 at the time so didn't really know what was going on. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated but I want him back..
Q. I have been in a 2 year relationship, and after the first year I would catch my boyfriend trying to talk to girls once in a while. He always apologised and used excuses such as "i was bored" "i was just trying out my game again" "it dont mean ...
A. 24 November 2016: This guy has no respect whatsoever for you, if anything you should be counting your lucky stars that he doesn't want a relationship anymore. He's a very young lad and when they show these behaviours that they like to play away from home they don't ... (read in full...)
My friend has blown hot and cold for three years. What is going through her mind?
Q. This happened a while back. In fact, it's kind of been something that's happened over the years. At the age of 18 I had a part time job at a restaurant and was acquainted with a girl there my age. I wasn't at all attracted to her but she seemed very ...
A. 24 November 2016: She wasn't confident enough to tell you sober, simple as that. I don't think she was blowing hot and cold at all
... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 23 November 2016: That's true. Suppose you can't help who you fall for.
Thanks again for the continued inputs guys, I've found them very helpful.... (read in full...)
What's my best stategy?
Q. I want to ask a girl out but i dont now how to because i want to do it in a creative way since i wont be able to do it in person for a long time....
A. 23 November 2016: Cindy is spot on. There's really no point if you can't see each other for a long time.
Wait until you're back.... (read in full...)
My crush. He's 20, I'm 17. Should I wait 2-3 years for him or not?
Q. I'm a 17-year-old Asian international student. And I'm having a crush on a guy for a few months who is 20 right now. Actually he already had done some sexual stuffs with me although we're not in a relationship. Days ago I confessed to him...
A. 23 November 2016: That roughly translates to: 'I want to keep having sex with you until you realise that we're never going to date each other and move on'
If someone has to have a think whether they want to be with you then the answer is as good as no.
Find so... (read in full...)
Does he really still care for me?
Q. So I'm trying to figure out if my ex still has feelings for me... We broke up just over 2 months ago, we were together for four month and up until the last 3 weeks our relationship was amazing, we broke up because he had decided he was too busy to ...
A. 23 November 2016: Why are you wasting your time wondering whether he still cares or not? You've just told us that you weren't worth his time when you were IN a relationship, so why would he still care about you now 2 months on?
Stop thinking about it. He's clearly ... (read in full...)
How much should I be involved with friends' love life?
Q. As I grow older I recognise things that make me hurt and angry. One of those things that trigger me is when good friends stay friends with people I dont think are nice people and are mean, Another is friends dating people i dont like, also when ...
A. 23 November 2016: It depends.
What kind of history ? You kissed each other? Slept together once? Dated for 5 years? This is a little vague.
If you hooked up once that's not really a great deal of history and I wouldn't really think anything of it. If you were ... (read in full...)
She broke her virginity with my brother and friend
Q. Well this happened Saturday during her 18th Birthday celebration, after I left for the night. anyways she had a threesome with one of my best friends and my younger brother and lost her virginity as well. (they did it about four times that night), ...
A. 23 November 2016: Are you kidding me Bro? She had a threesome with your best friend and brother and you're giving her another chance? Either you're the most forgiving person on the planet or a doormat.
That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. I'd be dropp... (read in full...)
My online girlfriend cheated on me.
Q. So, my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 years, because of her age and my age we never told our family the truth...that and we live a thousand miles a part and have only gotten to see each other twice. Well a month ago my girlfrien...
A. 23 November 2016: Of course it's possible it was a mistake, but whether it was or not she still cheated on you.
If you're okay with that then fair enough.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure of the meaning behind what my girlfriend's cousin is writing to me
Q. I am English, and my girlfriend is originally Polish. We went over to Poland in July to meet her family. She introduced me to her second cousin who is our age, who was pretty good at English. At first she said she was shy talking English and would ...
A. 23 November 2016: She definitely likes you to some extent. I don't think those are the kind of things you'd say to someone you only wanted a platonic relationship with.
I think it would be best if you let her know that this is strictly friends.... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex to meet up?
Q. How do I get my ex to ask to meet up, and how do I know if there is any hope of being more than friends? My ex and I broke up 2 months ago, we were together for four months, and we havnt spoken since the breakup. . So I accidentally ema...
A. 23 November 2016: I think if he wanted to he would ask anyway.
Why did you break up? You need to keep that in mind. I always find pepole who break up seem to end up in on/off relationships for a long time which isn't healthy.
You also broke up after a very sho... (read in full...)
Did he ask me out or was it just a joke?
Q. I got asked out today, or at least I think so. So I want to ask you guys on here if you think he said it as a joke, or meant business. We work at the same building, but not the same job/office. So we typically meet and just talk for 5-10 minutes...
A. 23 November 2016: Definitely not a joke, if he wasn't interested he wouldn't ask. Simple as that.... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 23 November 2016: She has plans to go travelling next year but I'm really hoping to be over it all before she leaves. I mean I didn't even go out with this girl so I feel it's pretty pathetic that I'm still even so bothered about her. ... (read in full...)
How can I help myself? I am so confused. Our relationship has problems, but I do love him.
Q. I think my relationship is over.... I found out that my man is registered with a site called ^^^chat. I confronted him 6 months later, he swore on his mum's life and his children from previous marriage that it was not him. few months later in ...
A. 22 November 2016: I think you should know what you want from a relationship at your point in life and I'm pretty sure it's not someone you suspect of cheating on you and that you can't bare to have sex with.
Why would you want to please him if you're not happy? W... (read in full...)
Why would he? Potential date seems too much in a hurry to meet
Q. Hey all . Ive started online dating a month ago and been talking to a guy at the beginning he took his time getting to know me but suddenly he seems to want to meet fast like the world is going to end and he has to cram it in . Im careful and take...
A. 22 November 2016: I agree with honeypie, a month is a long time to speak to someone on a dating site so I think it's natural that he wants to meet up.... (read in full...)
If you haven't kissed in a long time is it sort of weird to kiss?
Q. HELP! Please. I 'm going on a second date with a guy, and I'm 22 and although I've kissed people in the past it's been a while since I've kissed someone - more than a year- ( let alone sex haha I think I'm a virgin again, no seriously, anything ...
A. 22 November 2016: If you overanalyse it like you are doing then yes, it will be extremely weird and unnatural.
Kissing is just something you go with in the heat of the moment that's what can make it so passionate. Just relax, stop thinking about it and go with the... (read in full...)
Do I confront her about her ex?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I've been seeing this girl for about a month. We were set up through a mutual friend. I've grown to really like this girl. But when we first got together she told me she had went about with a guy who was a bit of a...
A. 22 November 2016: I'm noticing may red flags with this already:
1) I really don't think she's anywhere even close to being over her ex hence still being in contact with him. If she were serious about moving on she would surely block him?
2) she's told you s... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 21 November 2016: Thanks for the viewpoint bluebird, I enjoyed reading your answer.
For me, why I think she stands out is we did get on really well, I don't feel like I connected with someone on that level for a long time, we knew everything about each others l... (read in full...)
Our online relationship ...
Q. I met this American guy online since August 2015 and we met in a famous dating site. Btw, I’m Asian and 23 years old and we are of the same age. First, it was just purely a friendly chat of random stuffs (we chat almost every day as long as we are ...
A. 21 November 2016: Do you realistically have plans to live with or closer to each other in the near future?
I know it is possible for long distance relationships to work, but you guys have never even met in person yet you're in a relationship. The whole concept ... (read in full...)
Why do men sexualize women this way?
Q. Why are men so disgusting? I'm not trolling. From what I have seen of men, they are foul. They admit to looking at every woman as a sexual partner, imagining her naked... They think disgusting things. They use disgusting words when referrin...
A. 21 November 2016: To the female anon - who do all these pigs cheat with? If a girl knows these pigs have a girlfriend surely that makes the female equally as in the wrong?
I know plenty of females who have cheated on their BF even though they've been nothing ... (read in full...)
Am I his re-bound girl?
Q. He was in a long term relationship which broke down maybe 4-5 months ago. we have started talking online these past few weeks, but have been on each others social media pages since before the break-up ( just as friends or support) He knows i am her...
A. 21 November 2016: Who knows? Take it slow and see how he acts. If he offers to take you on dates then probably not, if he tries to turn things sexual then you probably are.... (read in full...)
Sexting and video chat is not enough for me ...
Q. So me and this guy talk but he lives like almost 3 hours away from me, and me and him sext all time but it's just not fun for me anymore... I feel bad because we can'r see each other and sexting is basically all we have... How do I make things fun ...
A. 21 November 2016: If you have no plan in sight to be able to see each other at some point then it's impossible that this situation can improve. Speak to him, if you guys want to see each other that badly then 3 hours really isn't a huge deal, you could spend a ... (read in full...)
My online girlfriend cheated on me.
Q. So, my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 years, because of her age and my age we never told our family the truth...that and we live a thousand miles a part and have only gotten to see each other twice. Well a month ago my girlfrien...
A. 21 November 2016: Dude, if this is an online relationship I'm assuming you've never been in person with this girl? Never hugged her or kissed her? So to me this is more like a friendship. You can't have a relationship without a physical side.
Think over the cour... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 21 November 2016: Thankyou cindy that was a good read and I'll try that starting from tomorrow.
As for avoiding her I live in a very small town so it would be impossible not to bump into her, we have overlapping friendship groups and we always go to the same pla... (read in full...)
The guy who meant nothing to her in her past got to live out his fantasy while I, despite being her boyfriend, don't get the same privilege. Isn't it unfair?
Q. I guess the question I have is what do I do? About 3 years ago before my girlfriend met me she had sex with a girl while a guy she occasionally hooked up with watched. They were all out at the pub and the girl was interested in her and the guys ...
A. 21 November 2016: Am I reading this correctly? You're questioning the future of your relationship because your girlfriend won't have sex with another girl and let you watch? Is that basically what youre saying? I had to read this question a few times because I ... (read in full...)
He's so confusing and I don't know what to do..
Q. I am very confused; this is going to sound like a film but im in love with my best friend and I don't know what to do! So we've been friends since January and we've spoken everyday for the past nine/ten months but in September I told him how I f...
A. 21 November 2016: Just tell him to stop playing games, he either likes you or he doesnt. Ask him straight up and tell him to stop wasting your time and playing with your head.... (read in full...)
I've taken him back 3 times despite him having broken my trust, now I'm pregnant after a miscarriage and I feel he's straying again
Q. I keep taking my boyfriend back time and time again after he cheats on me or hurts me, and I really don't know why. At first I took him back because I generally felt I was to blame. I'm saying it was my fault, but I did a few stupid things at the ...
A. 21 November 2016: Why do you need to stay with someone?
Someone that's cheated on you and you suspect him of currently being up to something dodgy again. What reason could you have that could make you NEED to stay with him?
Listen to your friends and fami... (read in full...)
How do I turn this FWB relationship into something more?
Q. I am in a friends with benefit with a girl I has known since I was 15. We are both now 25. We used to be just good friends but the sex started about 2 years ago. It is a bit of an unusual FWB relationship because she stated that in beginning that ...
A. 21 November 2016: At what point did I judge her? I'm going to assume you've still not told her how you feel?
You need to accept that if you were going to be her BF it would of happened by now and the longer you sit around hoping for it to happen I can guarante... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 21 November 2016: I forgot to add that I don't particularly want a girlfriend as I feel I have some commitment issues and find it hard to let people get close to me. I was happy to enter a FWB with this girl because at the time I was speaking to a few people and ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 21 November 2016: Anon - I dont have her on any social media and I don't have her phone number anymore. The only time I come into contact with her is on nights out or sometimes attend the same music events as one of my friends is dating her best friend. I haven't ... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl back?
Q. Dear All, First time writer and I'm really needing some desperate help. My story. About 6 years ago I met a girl. We went out and nothing ever come of it. I guess I wasn't really in that place at that time. But she held a candle for me...
A. 20 November 2016: I really don't think there is anything you can do, you've hurt her badly and maybe she's realised that you're not the right person for her.
Just because it feels right for you doesn't mean it's right for her also. You showed her a side of you that... (read in full...)
Why do men sexualize women this way?
Q. Why are men so disgusting? I'm not trolling. From what I have seen of men, they are foul. They admit to looking at every woman as a sexual partner, imagining her naked... They think disgusting things. They use disgusting words when referrin...
A. 20 November 2016: I've seen and heard many woman talk in derogatory sexual ways about men before, I don't think this is a one sided thing.
Also I've never and would never visit a stripper or a prostitute. I don't think every male in the world is as you describe... (read in full...)
He lives in a different city and I really like him. How can I get him more interested in me?
Q. Hello! In a complicated situation. Help me out ! I really like this friend who lives in a different city. We have been on a couple of dates but we don't get to meet because of distance. I asked him out on a date recently but his response was " I ...
A. 20 November 2016: Denizen is spot on. He's not interested, you asked him on a date and he said no in the politest way he could think of.... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 20 November 2016: Stop letting him guilt trip you. Whatever he does is his own problem, staying with him for the sake of things is worse that breaking up with him imo.
He's a wreck and a very weak person. He needs to emotionally blackmail you to stay with him. You... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 19 November 2016: Listen, he is manipulating you. You're not happy with this guy and you know you're not, you're not doing anything wrong. You guys just aren't a good match for each other and the very fact that he's threatening to kill himself shows he's mentally ... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 15 November 2016: You need to leave this guy, threatening to cut himself is NOT normal behaviour. He's saying you're overweight and need to change for HIM to want to stay with YOU.
If I had a girlfriend who dropped anything like that on me I'd be out the door and... (read in full...)
How do I turn this FWB relationship into something more?
Q. I am in a friends with benefit with a girl I has known since I was 15. We are both now 25. We used to be just good friends but the sex started about 2 years ago. It is a bit of an unusual FWB relationship because she stated that in beginning that ...
A. 11 November 2016: I think you're being very naive. She's said you're like a brother to her which is literally the worst thing you can hear from a girl you like. You've known her for 10 years.......don't you think that's been enough time for her to start liking you? ... (read in full...)
I fear I'll regret breaking up with him
Q. I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...
A. 11 November 2016: I'm not sure what you'll regret about breaking up with this guy. You'll find another boyfriend one day that loves everything about you and you'll look back on this guy and think what an absolute asshole, as that's what he sounds like.... (read in full...)
How do I turn this FWB relationship into something more?
Q. I am in a friends with benefit with a girl I has known since I was 15. We are both now 25. We used to be just good friends but the sex started about 2 years ago. It is a bit of an unusual FWB relationship because she stated that in beginning that ...
A. 6 November 2016: You're not going to like this I'm afraid but it's never going to be anything deeper than sex. You already know she's sleeping with someone else so that 'she doesn't develop feelings' which translates into 'I don't want a relationship'.
Belie... (read in full...)
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