A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I went on a few dates with this guy back in August. Due to him working offshore and then medical reasons, we haven't been able to get another one. He's working right now and he tries to message me every day. I do like him but lately it's been hard because I can't read what his intentions are. We spoke a while back about what we both wanted and he said he was interested in me which made me so happy! But now, I feel he's not that into me and don't want to bring up the conversation again... He speaks to me but usually it turns sexual very quick on his behalf, leading me to think he just wants sex. I've said that we can meet for coffee when he's back and just talk... He was like "if you want" but didn't seem too keen...The problem is, another guy has been talking to me and recently asked me on a date... Part of me feels I should go on the date but then the other part of me doesn't.Both guys seems great and i wouldn't mind going on the date. Just I'm so confused with what people want. And then I feel if I go on the date and things go great, I may have missed out on something great with the other guy. On the other hand, I may miss out on a good guy while waiting for something that isn't there...? What do you think I should do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 October 2016):
 August was quite some time ago. It is a long time for not to have met up with each other. If you both message every day well great you keep in contact, but if the conversation always turns sexual then I would suggest he is looking for someone to keep his bed warm when he is around. I can understand why you are confused about what he wants. Could it be that he is bored that is why he keeps talking to you and then eventually he will try and see if you will sleep with him? I mean if he really liked you am sure he would have been more enthusiastic about meeting for a coffee. But he wasn't. He left it up to you. Which really does sound like he is not wanting to make the effort.
If it was me I would go on the date with the other guy and see how it goes. You are still single and should not be sitting about at home wondering what if. Go on the date and let yourself have fun. Yes both guys might be great and maybe I do have the first guy all wrong, but still you have not saw him in a few months so you should not be putting your life on hold for him.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 October 2016):
 If you've only managed a few dates since august do you think it would get better if you were in a relationship?
You said he turns everything sexual quickly. Does that sound like someone who is in it for the long haul?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 October 2016):
 Do you really see a future with #1 Off-shore guy?
I mean he will be gone on/off for months, which means you will be on your own for months on/off and while that can work REALLY well for some, for others it doesn't.
The fact that you went on a few dates back in August and WHEN he does call it turns sexual almost instantly... makes me think he doesn't QUITE see you as someone he has to put an effort into but who is good for a laugh and "entertainment" while he is offshore working. Basically, his own little spank bank provider.
So honestly, I'd tell off shore guy that you are looking for someone more serious and someone who is actually around more, that you wish him well, etc. And then you block him.
THAT way you are FREE to go date any other dude you might fancy.
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