A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I had two male friends and I say had because neither of them will talk to me anymore..:(Things got a bit awkward in terms of friendship because they both told me they liked me.The first one; he asked to meet up and I made sure he knew it was as friends... Anyway, at the end of the day, he tried to kiss me. I turned it down and we spoke about being friends. He said he was fine with it (in my heart, I knew he wasn't fine). A few days later, I text him and he broke the news... That if we couldn't work, then we can't be friends. Friend number 2: I've know him for 4 years and a few years back, he went out with my sisters friend but he spent more time talking to me. Anyway, I thought nothing of it, they broke up and we still stayed friends. Flash forward a year... He stopped speaking to me. He just stopped. No reason why and he wouldn't respond to me at all. I got worried. Flash forward another year, he decided to talk. We spoke about why he disappeared which were personal reasons to him. Anyway, after a good few months talking. He told me that he has a big secret... One he couldn't keep any longer. He told me he likes me. And he's liked me for all those years. He didn't think he was worthy of me so he kept it a secret. We spoke about staying friends as it was safer that way. Just after my birthday, he told me that he didn't like me... He loved me. And he can't bear to see me with anyone else so he's going to go again. Now neither of them talk to me. I'm heartbroken to have lost two great guys. My question is... So do I leave them be and let them get on with life? Or keep trying to speak to them?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2016): Sadly sometimes you have to accept they wanted more and the fact you didn't is painful. Honour your friends by staying away. Given space and time they will move on and you might be able to be purely friends in the future.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (21 October 2016):
 Yes you leave them alone as it would be cruel of you to keep speaking to them and possibly lead them on if you've no romantic intentions with either of them when they've told you that they like you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 Leave them be. It would be cruel on your part to contact them when you know you don't want what they do. Yes I know it is sad for you because you had good friendships with them, but it will only hurt them trying to be your friend. If you care about them let them go, as it is hard trying to get over someone, don't make it harder for them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 Leave them be. IT IS NOT your fault that both these guys developed a crush on you. If you were clear about just being friends and you stuck to those boundaries then you did nothing wrong.
They also did nothing wrong by letting you know and then when they found you didn't feel the same, they CHOSE to cut the contact.
They CAN'T be friends with you because they both wanted more.
I'd say, try and make some female friends. And leave these guys be.
Some people can't separate friendships from crushes. That is just how it is.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 October 2016):
 They have both made it clear that they either want a proper relationship with you or nothing.
The choice is simple. Do you want to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with either of these guys?
I am guessing not. For either of them to just be friends with you would be too painful to handle at the moment. You need to respect their wishes and leave them alone.
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