Like what
he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message | | | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
|
| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
|
He is moving too fast, talking children, houses and marriage. He already has three kids.
Q. I need some advice I met this guy years ago down the pub via mutual friends he admitted he liked me never felt that same way. He then stopped speaking to me due to new gd etc and now has 3 kids with her who is now an ex September those yr he sees ...
A. 30 December 2016: You tell him straight.
'Look x, we are not in a relationship so I don't appreciate you telling people that we are. I also find it very uncomfortable that you're planning a future for us when we're not even dating. I would like it if you would ba... (read in full...)
Is he not interested or just bad at texting?
Q. Recently I've been talking to a guy, we live a long distance from each other so our main form of communication is texting. At first we texted frequently and the conversation flowed. However after a few weeks he kept taking longer and longer to ...
A. 30 December 2016: Not interested.
You seemed to be able to text fine so why couldn't he? ... (read in full...)
I did the most stupid thing I've ever done. How to repair the damage? How can I make it up to him?
Q. Im an idiot for what i did . Theres 2 guys , one texts a lot and makes a lot of effort through texts the other could make me wait a few days for a reply . the one who texts me a lot i see a future with but he drags his feet wanting to spend ti...
A. 29 December 2016: It was silly of you yes, but still doesnt sound like the first guy is doing anything to increase his efforts to meet you, so he is messing you around himself to be fair.
You either need to start meeting or youre both wasting your time.... (read in full...)
I told him that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. Am I just a friend to him?
Q. I told one of my guy friend that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. From that day we started texting a lot. It's been 9 months.. I don't know where exactly we stand.. We talk and meet up sometimes but we haven't talk on this top...
A. 29 December 2016: You know where you stand, as his friend.... (read in full...)
The way he treats me makes me so confused. Can we develop our relationship?
Q. Hi all, I have met a guy on Tinder. He is an expat and will work in my home country for a few months. Yes, I had sex with him on a second time we met but we have not labelled our relationship or even set any rules and agreements between us two. ...
A. 28 December 2016: Part on my answer I deleted by accident.
If you want it to progress then you need to ask him. I will point out that it's a very, very poor idea to sleep with someone as quicky as you did. Personally, if I slept with someone the second time I s... (read in full...)
The way he treats me makes me so confused. Can we develop our relationship?
Q. Hi all, I have met a guy on Tinder. He is an expat and will work in my home country for a few months. Yes, I had sex with him on a second time we met but we have not labelled our relationship or even set any rules and agreements between us two. ...
A. 28 December 2016: How could we know?
Ask him.... (read in full...)
I'm dating but I'm also developing stronger feeling for another guy. Not sure what to do. Help, please?
Q. I started university in September and have formed a good group of friends. I have started to date one of the guys in the group privately and I know he has fairly strong feelings for me. However, I have been talking a lot with one of the other guy...
A. 25 December 2016: Do you want a relationship or not? You need to decide that for yourself first.
Be very careful when moving onto another friend in the same group as I can guarantee that the first guy won't be very happy about it and could potentially fall out with... (read in full...)
How Long Do I Wait? Does he want a relationship?
Q. We have been talking for about 5 weeks now. We are about a 2 hours drive away from each other. We are not in a relationship, just been talking. He has already said he loves me we have sexted and we are planning on meeting up soon. I want to...
A. 25 December 2016: You've never met? And he says he loves you? That's really strange behaviour, I'd proceed with extreme caution.
Like youcannotbeserious said, he doesn't know anything about you. He's never even seen you or spent time with you so how can he be in lo... (read in full...)
I feel fed up not knowing where I stand!
Q. I met a guy 4 years ago through a walking group. We were both interested in each other but for some reason we never got together. I told him I liked him and he had some sort of anxiety attack and panicked in front of me saying he wasn't interested ...
A. 25 December 2016: You definitely know where you stand. He's had plenty of opportunities to advance things with you and he hasn't because he doesn't want to.
This guy is a dead end.... (read in full...)
Am I behaving like a stalker?
Q. Stalkerish or Nah? Ok so..... I'm curious as to what people think. Grateful to anyone who reads this longness.... I just want to give perspective. I dated someone for about the last 7 months..... He was great, we were great, things were coo...
A. 24 December 2016: I wouldn't do something like that personally.
You guys are over so there's no reason to stay in contact. By the sounds of things he wouldn't do it for you so why waste your time doing it for him?
... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 22 December 2016: If you're fine with it then why are you even asking? What does it matter if it's okay?
It's not normal to be 'crazy' about someone in a fwb. Hence why I think you're just trying to convince yourself you're okay with it.
How are you going to tak... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to let a guy know you are a cheater?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a firm believer if you do something to somebody it is right to return what has been done to you.I was in a relationship with this guy for years a little over some years.He would cheat,lie,and make babies on me. I would look past it ...
A. 22 December 2016: Why not just leave the guy instead of staying with him just to cheat on him? Your age says 41-50 but that sounds like a teenagers mentality.... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 22 December 2016: Look, you don't want a FWB it's quite clear. If you want more, ask for it or you'll just end up hurt if you carry on this arrangement.
FWB rarely work.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is depressed. Is he likely to come back when he's cooled down?
Q. My boyfriend of a year dumped me because he thinks "he's too depressing" for me and he's in a bad place right now. I told him I was okay with it and I'd do anything to make him feel better if he just opened up a little, but he insisted we broke it...
A. 22 December 2016: If I were you I'd start the healing process. You offered to stick around and he said no so there's nothing else you can do.
Just work on yourself for the time being and maybe he will come back, maybe not. But definitely don't sit around waiting ... (read in full...)
Take a job I don't want just to keep in contact with a crush?
Q. Hi I'm Sam and I'm 17 years old. I have been working at a bar in the UK temporarily over the Christmas period. I was hoping that after this temporary spell, I would be offered the job permanently. However at the my shift last night, my boss spoke to ...
A. 21 December 2016: Best of luck... (read in full...)
Should I worry that his first love is making contact?
Q. Hi my husbands first love is trying to get in contact with him. He's not sure yet if he will reply to email. I'm not sure how I feel about this,on the one hand I want him to do what he wants but on the other I'm a bit concerned about feelings being ...
A. 21 December 2016: In what context is she contacting him?... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 20 December 2016: I think you'll regret getting married if you go ahead with it, you're clearly not thinking straight at the moment by having to ask for advice. But to marry someone you had to ask for advice from strangers on the internet is crazy.
If you don't na... (read in full...)
I can't take any more with this man
Q. Help me please iam getting emontion abused. i have lost nearly 9 stone but he calls me fatty.wobbly and he knows iam hurt by it but laughts and carrys on.does a day go by when he never done it. I do everything for him.he dont seem to be happy unless ...
A. 20 December 2016: How will he take the kids? He could only do that if he took you to court and there was evidence beyond reasonable doubt that the children are in danger being looked after by you.
Leave this man.... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to raise a glass at the graveside?
Q. I am involved in a bit if an argument. A mutual family friend passed away aged 49 from breast cancer. On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave. The took ...
A. 20 December 2016: Offended by celebrating the life of someone they loved. How in any way, shape or form is that disgusting? I can't even see where she's coming from.
I think it's a great gesture personally.... (read in full...)
I need to stop his demands
Q. Hi, i have been sharing for some time with a friend. He start looking for me and sharing with me. But it become a friend with benefits relationship, which i see was a mistake. Although he told me he isnt dating other girls, i dont believe him. A ...
A. 20 December 2016: Yes you made the right choice. Sounds like you want a relationship and he doesn't so you've saved yourself a lot of hurt.... (read in full...)
Take a job I don't want just to keep in contact with a crush?
Q. Hi I'm Sam and I'm 17 years old. I have been working at a bar in the UK temporarily over the Christmas period. I was hoping that after this temporary spell, I would be offered the job permanently. However at the my shift last night, my boss spoke to ...
A. 19 December 2016: Can't you just ask her out regardless of if you work there?... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 19 December 2016: If you even have to debate one second whether you should marry someone then the answer is no.... (read in full...)
Why does he do this to me?
Q. I've been on and off with a guy I've liked for 2 years. But we haven't had sex. I have tried everything with this guy because I really am unsure of his intentions as he has told me he likes me but nothing's changed. He doesn't meet me when he is ...
A. 19 December 2016: It's not what you want to hear but let's be realistic. You've been speaking for 2 years and nothing has ever developed. Does that sound like he wants you?
He's very clearly messing you around, he has no intentions of advancing things or do you n... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go? If I walk away from this, then what if I never meet anyone else who will love me?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend 3 and a bit years and we've lived together just over a year. We've just put down a deposit on our first home together and everything should be great but I have doubts. My boyfriend used to be so sweet an...
A. 19 December 2016: Why would you regret leaving someone that doesn't satisfy your needs? You're better off being alone than with someone so that you don't feel lonely.
Do you really think you'll live your life and never find another person that you fall for? The... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go? If I walk away from this, then what if I never meet anyone else who will love me?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend 3 and a bit years and we've lived together just over a year. We've just put down a deposit on our first home together and everything should be great but I have doubts. My boyfriend used to be so sweet an...
A. 19 December 2016: Why would you regret leaving someone that doesn't satisfy your needs? You're better off being alone than with someone so that you don't feel lonely.
Do you really think you'll live your life and never find another person that you fall for? The... (read in full...)
The LDR visit is not going well and I'm completely lost as to what to do!
Q. Hi, I'm currently 8 months in to a LDR, (we're separated by 10000 miles) and I've just arrived at hers two days ago for a three week visit. The problem I now have is that from the moment I landed she's been off, we've had a chat and she's now to...
A. 19 December 2016: She's told you its not going to work out. I think for her it's already over and I think you need to let that sink in.
I think booking your own place would be a good idea. At least you can try to enjoy the rest of your trip that way.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop going on about an instagram post!
Q. I've completely lost the plot with my boyfriend but I'm not sure if I overreacted. I'm trying really hard to think of things from his point of view but it's difficult. My friend's daughter commented on one of my photos on Instagram that h...
A. 19 December 2016: He's been going on about someone else liking you for 6 months?
How old is he? Sounds like he's about 12 years old with the way he's acting. Like you said, how can you help who finds you attractive?
I'm surprised you've put up with it for so l... (read in full...)
Is he a keeper? After all the white lies I'm starting to doubt my partner of 6 years.
Q. Hi there, thanks for looking :) - I'll try to keep this brief! I've been with my partner for 6 years, living together for 2. I'm 24 and he's 26, and we are usually very close. He's actually a super sweet guy - all my friends think so, and hes kind...
A. 18 December 2016: I agree with the other posters, sounds like he's got a drinking problem and lying to cover it up.... (read in full...)
I want him to be more assertive in bed
Q. I'm going out with someone who's very quiet during sex and it turns me off. I sort of like this person, but in bed, while I'm sucking him he just stays there, eyes closed like a Buddha ( and he takes forever to come, like 30 plus minutes, Is that ...
A. 18 December 2016: I don't think you'll be able to change who he is sexually. You've asked him about it before and nothing has changed so it sounds like unfortunately you're just sexually incompatible.
Sex isn't everything in a relationship but it's a very big part... (read in full...)
Four dates and now we're about to be away from each other for 20 days. How should I handle this extended break from her?
Q. I've been on four dates with a girl I met on tinder over the last two weeks who is starting to really grow on me and I feel butterfly's in my stomach whenever we hang out together. I feel like we've taken things slow and that's super OK with me....
A. 18 December 2016: Three weeks really isn't a long time.
If I were you I'd say something along the lines of 'I'll leave you to enjoy your time travelling but if you fancy a chat I'm available at any time'
And if she's interested I'm sure she will want to keep the... (read in full...)
I showed him proof that his dating profile was active again it disappeared within minutes and now he's trying to tell me he didnt do anything
Q. Hi and thanks for your time and advice in advance. Been seeing a guy for a few months, been really good. Had a huge row which I think he was over reacting about and we hadn't spoken after over night. I then discover his profile on the dating site ...
A. 16 December 2016: 100% lying.
I don't think any dating site in the world would say you were online if you weren't.... (read in full...)
Could it be more than friendship?
Q. Me and my best friends ex have been rather flirty with each other for a couple of months now; we got pretty drunk one night in a evening establishment and very nearly kissed, although one doesn't remember who really initiated it and it has not been ...
A. 15 December 2016: I doubt it if she's told you numerous times you're just friends.
Question is, why are you creeping around your best friends ex?... (read in full...)
Should I bring this up with him, or just cut him off ?
Q. So i've been talking to this guy for a while now. He lives in another state so we don't get to see each other often. There is definitely attraction towards eachother. We aren't dating, but we talk like if we were. So a while back i asked him if w...
A. 15 December 2016: You guys aren't together so surely he's able to speak to whoever he wants?... (read in full...)
I need help with my retroactive jealousy!
Q. Hi, sorry for my bad english in advance. I’m with my girlfriend since 6 month, we know each other since we are in middle school. After that she go in another school and in an other high school in the same town. We are now both 20 years old, ...
A. 15 December 2016: Think of it this way, if you keep this attitude up you're going to sabotage your own relationship. There's only so much of this your gf will be able to take before she's had enough.
How can she help sleeping with someone before you met her? Get... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 14 December 2016: We understand perfectly what you're saying. She didn't give you ANY mixed signals whatsoever. How are you the ONLY person on this post who doesn't understand the problem here?
She asked for YOU to console her when she was upset. YOU ignored ... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 13 December 2016: Dude are you for real?
So what if she's being 'mean'. She needed you! You weren't there for her and it was a deal breaker. Suck it up and deal with it.
All you had to do was hear her out and you wouldn't be in this mess but you were too selfish... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 13 December 2016: I don't deal with serious conversations about feelings well either but your gf lost a baby for God sake and you couldn't even let her vent her feelings?
You're right, you are paying the price. Hopefully she finds someone who can comfort her when... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says our sex life is boring for him, he wants things I don’t!
Q. My boyfriend says our sex life is boring for him. We have been together for less than a year and he is my first boyfriend. He says he is bored with what we do. He wants anal, bondage, toys, and other stuff, I don't even know... The thing is I don...
A. 13 December 2016: You guys aren't sexually compatible. It's not okay to guilt trip a partner into sexual acts they don't want to perform.
As honeypie said, let him to to find someone who's into the sane things as he us. ... (read in full...)
The guy I like seems to be a really horrible person, what do I do?
Q. My friends are really close to this one guy. It has been over a few months since he started hanging around with us and he's been just fine with me. At first I started liking him and finding him attractive, so I confessed and heard no reply from him ...
A. 13 December 2016: Seriously?
If these rumours are true, why would you even contemplate trying to get together with this guy?
He only showed he was 'interested' in you when he was rejected off someone else, clearly showing you wouldnt be his first choice any... (read in full...)
I feel her weight gain is getting out of control!
Q. I am 27 my girlfriend is 24 we live together and we have a great relationship. The problem I have got is that I feel her weight gain is getting out of hand. She was by no means thin when we got together and I am not saying she should have a model ...
A. 13 December 2016: I don't think you should feel bad for saying this. I know she's your girlfriend but there's obviously still a physical attraction to her and it's very much possible to lose it if she changes from how she looked when you first met her.
I think it... (read in full...)
What should I say? How can I find out where I stand, without sounding annoying to him ??
Q. Hi!! Back in October a 5 month relationship ended because we decided to give each other a little space. On one weekend I went to an ex's house because he was having a get together with a few friends. Sketchy as it sounds nothing at all happened...
A. 12 December 2016: I'm sure he would of told you he missed you as well if he does. Sounds like he's moved on.... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 12 December 2016: You fucked up here big time. She couldn't of been more clear with what she wanted and you shunned her when she needed you most.
I think it's shown her the insensitive guy you are and she's decided that she doesn't need you in her life anymore.... (read in full...)
| *91's friends
These are mutual friends, so *91 has
added them and they have added *91!
|
