A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello. Looking for some advice. I have been single for 17 years and dating the last eight years. Have had a few relationships that lasted six months. I have had a lot of bad luck in relationships. Seems like men don't want a serious relationship. They want sex and that's all. If they do develop feelings, they run away, because they are scared. I started seeing a man. He is sweet and knows I don't want to rush into things. We have made out, but I want to wait to get to know him better before going any further. He said to ask him anything, but talks about sex a lot and a little to hands on if you know what I mean. He knows he is a little to hands on. I like it, but it is a little to much. I also feel that all he is interested is in going to bed with me. Talks about sex way too much. He ended will grab me or say something, then will say he is messing with me. He does have many good qualities. He moved in with his mom and took care of her until she passed away. is a hard worker, etc. He keeps putting out the question when are we going to sleep together? Six months? I am beginning to feel not respected and like a piece of meat. We have only dated for two weeks. I plan on standing my ground and wait at least 2-3 months before sleeping with him. Should I or just give up and sleep with him in a few weeks. Are all men like this? If they are, I just should give up. I do have trust issues because, I have men leave. I don't rush into bed with them and they still leave. I deserve better. I am more than a piece of meat.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2016): Thanks for the replys. I broke things off with him. Forgot to mention something he told me. He was dating a girl and she took a few naps on his couch. The last time he saw her he decided to try some things. She woke up and left. She never came back. He clearly has no boundaries. He acted there was nothing wrong. Only said she did not like it. What he did was so wrong. Very scary. So glad I don't have to worry about him any more.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2016): It is very difficult to judge his intentions or how this relationship will develope but one thing is clear that this guy hasnt had sex for very long time and is sex starved and desperate for sex.He is behaving like a child who has been kept hungry for a long time then brought to a table full of food but asked to wait for eating so he keeps asking when he can eat.
Normally such guys stay in long relationships if given the chance and are very loyal.If you like him enough why not.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (3 November 2016):
 He's absolutely disrespectful. He doesnt care for your boundaries and on top of that, he sounds like an old geezer that believes if youre a mature woman who is NOT a virgin, you will be an easy lay or sexually okay with moving fast. Id get rid of him as fast as possible. His good qualities DOES NOT outweigh his complete lack of respect for you
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (3 November 2016):
 When someone asks for sex before getting to know you, that is their priority.
Personally, if I was looking for something serious, I wouldn't continue with anyone pushing the sex talk, especially within the first couple of months and before a few dates.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (3 November 2016):
 keep your self respect , don't give in would be my advice. he may be nice but you really need to get to know who he is. you know a few of his good qualities , but you really need to know who he is.
you give him what he wants how do you know he will be around after the new has worn off ?
you need to see who he is, who his friends are, how he even treats strangers. you need to see his bad habits, even his bad qualities. you cant see this stuff in two weeks. a person will put on their best at first , but after time goes buy you will see them for who they really are.
after you get to know him then you will know if he is a keeper.
don,t let him push you into regrets.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 November 2016):
 Two weeks and he is ALREADY a sex-pest? Jeeez for me that would quickly outweigh his good qualities. Not RESPECTING you and what you have ASKED for is just not a good quality.
I agree with N91, he sounds like a dick.
I think he believes that your "not yet" means KEEP asking and KEEP groping and YOU will give in.
If you REALLY think he is a good guy then TELL him FIRMLY and do not accept to be treated like a side of beef.
Personally? I think he is WAY too forward for having talked ONLY 2 weeks and I'd let him go. It doesn't sound like he is looking for a relationship, he is looking for sex.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (3 November 2016):
 He sounds like a bit of a dick to be honest. I've never heard of anyone openly asking when they're going to be having sex after knowing each other for two weeks. I think you know this is all he is after, if I were you I'd be cutting contact with this one and finding someone more respectful.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 November 2016):
 Two weeks and he is pawing at you all the time and asking when you will have sex with him? He is either very out of practice at dating, immature or only interested in sex. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say it is one of the first two.
In your position I would be having a very firm talk with him along the lines of "I would like to get to know you first before I decide whether or not I want to sleep with you" (the emphasis being on all the times you say "I" in the conversation, as this is about YOU, not him). "If you keep going on about having sex, I will assume that is all you are interested in and I will be terminating this relationship." He will then be under no illusions.
Secondly, I would be saying to him, "Look, I realize you are a tactile person but I would appreciate if you could keep that a little more under control and stop touching me all the time." (I once briefly dated a man like this, had the conversation with him and, when it made no difference, would freeze every time he put his hands on me unnecessarily and say in a very cold voice "you are touching me again". He soon got the message.)
Stick to your guns. Don't jump into bed with anyone unless it is what YOU want and until you are fully ready and have got to know them.
Well done for having standards.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2016): You're on the right path. Don't sleep with any man until you're ready. Two weeks is far too soon, and if he's pushing too hard for sex; that's really all he wants. Ask him to show you proper respect, and all things will come in due time.
Firmly ask him not to grab at you, not evenly playfully. It makes you uncomfortable. You like to be treated like a lady. Making-out is good enough for now.
If he's interested in anything more than lifting your skirt; he'll be a proper gentleman and wait. Never feel pressured for sex. Men like that will be gone as soon as they get what they want. A man of quality and good character will make you feel at ease and will be patient. Add patience as one of the qualities he must possess and demonstrate; and reward him as soon as you feel the time is right for you.
And not until then!
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