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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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We're already close. Do you think he is ready to move on and try something with me?
Q. Hi! Maybe this will be pretty obvious to you but I'm terrible when it comes to relationships and understanding men. I like this friend of mine (we were friends first) and he knows I like him, and we've kissed before but we were always drunk and st...
A. 19 September 2017: Why do this to yourself?
Surely there's other people you can speak to? He's shown his sleazy nature and I can't imagine it stopping. The feelings you have for him are likely to come back when you're seeing each other in person again.
What yo... (read in full...)
What if the tables were turned? Am I being a numpty for agreeing to her terms?
Q. Hey just like to ask if i've been a bit of a numpty. I'm not allowed a facebook nor messenger not sure why but to make her happy i said ill not make a facebook. She has both and lots of people added like people she works with and even people she s...
A. 5 February 2017: Why does she get to decide? Is there a reason she doesn't want you on there? Double standards here and very controlling behaviour.
I'd be getting to the bottom of why if I were in your shoes.... (read in full...)
What would be a good first gift, post breakup, to offer as a token of friendship?
Q. Hi everyone, I would like to get my ex girlfriend a gift that is received as a token of friendship, or more specifically, as a gesture that I'm ready to foster one. She has already explicitly stated interest in doing so. This comes after se...
A. 5 February 2017: I didn't even know this was a thing.
I agree with the other posters that it's odd and really don't think its necessary. Just remain friendly if you're ready and don't carry romantic feelings for her anymore, no need for a gift.... (read in full...)
Coming out for both of us is out of the question. Should I try to make both relationships work concurrently?
Q. I am married with two children but in love with my bestfriend who is a girl My husband is not aware that i am bisexual...but he suspects...and knows that my best friend is weird..but he is the most understanding and loving man..i love him and wan...
A. 5 February 2017: You're asking our permission to cheat?
I don't think anyone on this site would condone that. Just because you're bisexual doesn't make it okay. You decide who you want to be with more and take it from there.
Just remember, this girl isn't open ... (read in full...)
18 year old senior at school. How could I attempt to seduce this teacher at my school?
Q. I am a 18 year old female in high school as a senior. I had this teacher for the first semester and over time just seemed to really like him for a lot of reasons mostly because of how intelligent he is. I am not a very sexual person and could...
A. 5 February 2017: You could get this guy sacked.
Find a boyfriend your own age.... (read in full...)
He decided to take up on my offer on not using condoms. Why was he so willing to do this?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a while and whenever we have sex, we always use protection. But there was this one time that we didn't because we both didn't want to. After that time we used a condom every time. We were talking about our sex li...
A. 5 February 2017: Because sex feels terrible for a guy with a condom on is my guess.... (read in full...)
Off/on relationship has me wanting something more definite
Q. So this is bothering me. I was seeing a girl for 2 months, we fell in love quick but due to family issues and differences we took a break. She started seeing someone else. We still hung around and got even closer, she told me mulitple times she ...
A. 4 February 2017: If she wanted to finish the other guy she would. What's stopping her?
She's having her cake and eating it too. She's getting all the BF stuff off the other guy and having her ego stroked at work by you. You need to be firm with her and tell her... (read in full...)
What happened to my dream girl? Do I just go along with her? Or call off the wedding and be done with her?
Q. Sorry if this is long just bare with me because I need help. My girlfriend has ruined our relationship and I feel like she just wanted me for money. I need to know what other people think. I can't talk to my family or friends because they all...
A. 4 February 2017: As far as I can see she will sign the pre nup but only if there's a clause in it that voids the agreement if you cheat? That's the jist I've gotten.
If you're not going to cheat then what's the problem? She's agreed to sign it.... (read in full...)
We have Skype online sex regularly. He is my first cousin and separated from his wife. Is this OK?
Q. Im having skype sex with my first cousin. Im 34, he's 32. I just got out of a 10 year relationship 6 mths ago, and been feeling very sexually frustrated. He's separated from his wife for 3 years now. He lives in Canada, and im from Cali. We ...
A. 4 February 2017: Personally I think it's extremely odd to feel that way about a cousin and it wouldn't ever enter my head to pursue.
I'm not sure what the laws are in the US but I'm pretty sure Some states have restrictions on incestious relationships so I'd trea... (read in full...)
How can I stop letting this one man's opinion of me beat at my confidence?
Q. I have always thought of myself as girlfriend material and that I have a lot to offer a man. I dated a guy recently and he doesn't have any interest in me as a person whatsoever. I know it sounds vain or conceited, but I believe in mysel...
A. 4 February 2017: That is the world of dating.
You don't get in a relationship with every single person you date do you?
You've probably rejected guys in the past that weren't what you were looking for. You weren't what this guy was looking for so why beat your... (read in full...)
Would you remain friends with someone who keeps you blocked from Skype?
Q. Hi All, Could really use a little input here. I met a woman online on an international dating site. I'm American, she's from Europe. We emailed, talked and Skyped for about 10 months and then got into a fight. Without going into the details, ...
A. 4 February 2017: Are you sure you're happy with friends? I don't think you are considering you were romantically involved at one point.
If you're talking on another platform why does it matter if you're blocked on another? You're not going to speak on both are... (read in full...)
She had sex with somebody else when we were apart, I can't get over it!
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. I had serious commitment issues and after being together for just under a year and a half I pushed her away and subsequently she withdrew. While we were apart I have never been in more emotional ...
A. 3 February 2017: YOU were the one who pushed her away so you have no one to blame. You accept that it was fine for her to do this now you need to decide whether you're ever going to get over this. It's not fair to hold this against her because you guys weren't ... (read in full...)
Is she trying to brush me off?
Q. I 've been friendly with this girl that I work with.We have few things in common and we've had few good conversations. Her and I like to go to shows at art galleries so one day during conconversations,I asked her to come along to this show that w...
A. 2 February 2017: Stop asking her, she isn't interested in pursuing a friendship and you're probably making it very awkward for her by keep asking.
Some people like to keep their work like and personal life separate, me included. I wouldn't like to hang out with... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready for sex so he hasn't talked to me for two weeks!
Q. my boyfriend hasn't spoken to me for two weeks..he suddenly went silent after we argued over the fact that I wasn't ready for sex .we have only gone out for almost a month.I like him but I don't want to base my relationship on sex....do I call him ...
A. 2 February 2017: I'd break up if I were you.
No respect for you whatsoever.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is in hospital and her family are keeping me in the dark
Q. I have no idea what to do to deal with this situation. I have been with my girlfriend since 2011, she was 18 at the time we started. We have had a great relationship, typical ups and downs, but all in all great. Her family has never warmed up ...
A. 1 February 2017: So sorry for your loss mate, that must of been a horrible experience having no idea what was going on.
Sending you my best wishes X... (read in full...)
Our marriage is totally devoid of all physical contact!
Q. I am writing to you because I feel I have no one to tell. I have been married for 20 years to a woman who is the mother of my three children (19, 17 1nd 12). We haven't had sex since before the birth of our youngest child and its killing me. In f...
A. 28 January 2017: She may get defensive but you need to stay firm.
10years is an extraordinary amount of time not to sleep with your wife if you've still got a sex drive. You need to not be confrontational and looking to fight, but try to help her see it from you... (read in full...)
I know we can solve any problems but he just acts distant!
Q. Hi I really need some male opinion on this, I was friends with this guy 3 years ago we started having sex without admitting that we were in a relationship which was what we both wanted at that time ( though it seemed like we had feelings for each...
A. 28 January 2017: He definitely doesn't want a relationship so what are you wanting to solve?... (read in full...)
Could my bf's avoidance of my compliments suggest he is cheating?
Q. I have been suspecting my bf has been unfaithful recently. Just sense a change. When having a text conversation this evening, I went on about how lucky I am to have him. What a good guy he is and how I am glad he is not like other men. I sai...
A. 28 January 2017: I think this is pretty weak evidence for cheating. Maybe giving us the bigger picture would help.... (read in full...)
Can a man go from not wanting a relationship to wanting one?
Q. was dateing a man for a few months . I told him I wanted a relationship an he then told me he didn't want one . I broke it off with him . but he still tried to keep in contact with me . so now almost two years later . he contact me we talk . he then ...
A. 28 January 2017: He doesn't want you to forget him.
You clearly stated you want a relationship so where has he dreamed up that he was scared to tell you he loves you? If anything that would be been a great time to tell you.
He sounds like a messer. Anyone t... (read in full...)
He is much older but I want to have sex with him
Q. I knew a guy at work. I'm 22 he is 41. A very sexy man. Do u think he will have something with me after sex. We decided to be friends with benefits. He is in a relationship with a 31 years old . We planned to have sex this weekend. Do you think is ...
A. 28 January 2017: Terrible idea.
'Do you think he will want something with me after sex? We've decided to be Fwb'
FWB is a polite way of saying you're not relationship material but I'm happy to have sex with you. Also he has a girlfriend so why don't you apply ... (read in full...)
We're already close. Do you think he is ready to move on and try something with me?
Q. Hi! Maybe this will be pretty obvious to you but I'm terrible when it comes to relationships and understanding men. I like this friend of mine (we were friends first) and he knows I like him, and we've kissed before but we were always drunk and st...
A. 28 January 2017: You need to find out where he's up to with his ex.
Its very possible he could start using you for sex whilst he's still hung up on his ex. Unless he's over her and you BOTH want to go down the path of a relationship I'd be very careful of how phys... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend pathetic? Or just stuck in his life at the moment?
Q. Ok, so...my boyfriend's truck broke down this past summer and I got a car about two or three months after. He could have got another by now had he saved better but idk. He spends his money on weed mostly and his phone bill and car insurance bill ...
A. 27 January 2017: I think you should have a talk and MAKE him feel pathetic.
You're giving him a free ride by paying for everything, if you want him to start paying for stuff, TELL HIM. He's not going to start offering because he's too used to you doing it.
T... (read in full...)
I like him and enjoy his flirting. But what should I do? Because I think he has a Gf already
Q. There's this guy I'm talking too. The problem is, I think he has a girlfriend.. We've been speaking a while and a few months ago, he told me that he can't take things forward with me because he has someone. I respected that and we remained to j...
A. 27 January 2017: Well he already sounds like an asshole. He has a girlfriend and he's sending dick pics to other females.
What if he did break up with his girlfriend then gave you a shot, could you trust him not to accidentally send pictures to other girls? ... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate!
Q. Here I am..again. Now trying to stop loving my wife. During the last 6 months 3 of her former FWB have written e-mails to her remembering their pleasure moments...I found out reading those e-mails (not spying , given we both have open access t...
A. 27 January 2017: Why don't you ASK HER?
She is the only person that could answer these questions for you. All we can do on this website is speculate. Of course, you're also well in your rights to stop performing any sexual acts for her, but you're the one that cam... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate!
Q. Here I am..again. Now trying to stop loving my wife. During the last 6 months 3 of her former FWB have written e-mails to her remembering their pleasure moments...I found out reading those e-mails (not spying , given we both have open access t...
A. 26 January 2017: She's not a piece of meat, she is your WIFE.
She will do whatever she is comfortable with, maybe she was more adventurous when she was younger but she isn't anymore. If that's a problem for you then maybe you need to look at divorcing her.... (read in full...)
Wife friended EX on Facebook and it has caused issues in our marriage
Q. One evening my wife was typing on her smartphone because she got a message on Facebook. It turned out, an ex-boyfriend wanted to friend her and she asked if it was OK. I asked her if he knew she was married and she said it was on her profile, so I ...
A. 26 January 2017: Everyone else has pretty much hit the nail on the head. She's shown you the full contact all the way through and blocked and removed him so he can't contact her.
What more could you possibly want? She couldn't of handled it in a better manner.... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate!
Q. Here I am..again. Now trying to stop loving my wife. During the last 6 months 3 of her former FWB have written e-mails to her remembering their pleasure moments...I found out reading those e-mails (not spying , given we both have open access t...
A. 26 January 2017: I'm 25 and single so no, I'm nowhere near to settling down.
You're right, that wouldn't be love, but it would be cheating on your wife, so how could you even suggest that?
I think I'm starting to agree with aunt honesty that maybe you're the... (read in full...)
Is this an emotional affair? ?
Q. Is this an emotional affair? ? ? Last March- my husband of 27 years (M) was working at a customer's house (he's a contractor), and one day a woman (T) who lived across the street came over to bum a cigarette from one of M's workers. She a...
A. 25 January 2017: I really don't think he's going to change, he's had multiple chances and lied to you about it time and time again.
I think you've done well to put up for it as long as you have done. It may be time to start looking at separating.... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to notice me in a positive way and in a sexual way
Q. My boyfriend seems to not notice me in a positive way or sexual way. I don't know if it's because he's more attracted to his video games or I'm just not attractive enough, but either way it's lowering my self esteem. What can I do to make him notice ...
A. 25 January 2017: I agree with Honeypie.
I don't think he's mature enough, I love playing video games but there's no way on earth would I be spending my time on them if I had a girlfriend to entertain at my house.
If he's not fulfilling your needs then he's ... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate!
Q. Here I am..again. Now trying to stop loving my wife. During the last 6 months 3 of her former FWB have written e-mails to her remembering their pleasure moments...I found out reading those e-mails (not spying , given we both have open access t...
A. 25 January 2017: You're really not listening.
Love is not related to orgasms and squirting. You have the attitude of a teenager with how you're speaking.
Yes, your wife may of had better sex than with you. So what? What can you do about that? She didn't want ... (read in full...)
What's the purpose of relationships when all it does is give someone power to hurt you?
Q. Three years ago I was dating someone and it ended very horribly. She left me for another guy and it left me distressed beyond anything I had ever felt. I treated her with respect, listened to her when she spoke, and did what I thought was love her...
A. 24 January 2017: I used to share the same outlook as you after I had my 'heart broken' for the first time when I was 18. I asked out a girl I had been seeing and she said no and my world imploded, I thought I'd never get over the misery that I was feeling and in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend prefers to be with my brother and housemate than with me.
Q. My boyfriend will spend more time with my Brother and Housemate then he does with me. My brother and housemate has been committing on my body appearance lately and my boyfriend doesn't say anything. I use to be extremely under weight but i'm now ...
A. 24 January 2017: You're clearly not happy and he isn't willing to talk about the situation so what other options do you have?... (read in full...)
Is it degrading to let a guy ejaculate on you?
Q. When I was 15, my mother sat me down and had "the talk". She is very open and liberal, so we ended up talking about everything from sex and birth control to relationships and life in general. One of the things she was adamant about was that por...
A. 23 January 2017: it's how YOU feel about it, not how anybody else tells you to feel about it.
If you like it, then what's the problem?... (read in full...)
Just found out that my LDR is happily married. Do I confront him?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months.. We are in a LDR, but he's very caring, sweet and romantic...keeps in touch. But one thing that continually bothers me is that he never calls me at night! Two days back, I was viewing his profile on s...
A. 23 January 2017: Block him and move on with your life.
I wouldn't even waste my time speaking to him about it, who knows how many other girls he could have in this same situation and even if you confront him he's still married, he's not going to leave his wife for... (read in full...)
My boyfriend prefers to be with my brother and housemate than with me.
Q. My boyfriend will spend more time with my Brother and Housemate then he does with me. My brother and housemate has been committing on my body appearance lately and my boyfriend doesn't say anything. I use to be extremely under weight but i'm now ...
A. 23 January 2017: I agree with the others. I think it may be time to give him his marching orders.... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of getting my blood work done and it's crippling me emotionally. I can't function anymore!
Q. I really need help. I don't know how I am ever going to do this? I do blood work every year as part of an annual physical. It has been awhile since I've done it. I have been putting it off since last August because I am deathly afraid there is ...
A. 23 January 2017: So instead of getting checked as soon as possible you're putting it off and just hoping there's not a problem there?
Say there is a problem and you're putting it off repeatedly, you're wasting valuable time that you could be getting treated.... (read in full...)
When should I tell this guy about my health problems?
Q. I've got a couple of health conditions that impact day to day life, one with my breathing and one to do nerve damage causing a lot of pain. I've started seeing a new guy and don't know when I should bring these things up in conversation, like should ...
A. 23 January 2017: It's nothing to be embarrassed about but I think if you feel like you have to tell him it would be a good idea to mention it sooner rather than later.
That way if for whatever reason he doesn't want to continue seeing you because of it you've n... (read in full...)
When should I tell this guy about my health problems?
Q. I've got a couple of health conditions that impact day to day life, one with my breathing and one to do nerve damage causing a lot of pain. I've started seeing a new guy and don't know when I should bring these things up in conversation, like should ...
A. 23 January 2017: It's nothing to be embarrassed about but I think if you feel like you have to tell him it would be a good idea to mention it sooner rather than later.
That way if for whatever reason he doesn't want to continue seeing you because of it you've n... (read in full...)
My boyfriend prefers to be with my brother and housemate than with me.
Q. My boyfriend will spend more time with my Brother and Housemate then he does with me. My brother and housemate has been committing on my body appearance lately and my boyfriend doesn't say anything. I use to be extremely under weight but i'm now ...
A. 23 January 2017: Have you raised the issue with him?
If you don't tell him you're not happy then how is he going to know?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents are strict and I'm not sure what to do anymore
Q. Hi everyone, I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if this is a bit unorganized. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and besides the ups and downs we are very much in love with each other and even plan to have a f...
A. 23 January 2017: My bad, I read 'an only child' as 'only a child too'.... (read in full...)
I like this guy I'm dating, but the sex is nice but not amazing. How do I discuss this with him?
Q. I have just started dating a truly lovely guy, he is adorable and I really enjoy spending time with him. The problem is, things aren't totally electric in the bedroom. I'm quite a sexual person and chemistry and sexual connection is really important ...
A. 23 January 2017: Talk to him. Unless you tell him it's not up to scratch he thinks everything is fine.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents are strict and I'm not sure what to do anymore
Q. Hi everyone, I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if this is a bit unorganized. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and besides the ups and downs we are very much in love with each other and even plan to have a f...
A. 23 January 2017: Your bf isn't a child, neither are you. You're both adults and can do whatever you please.
His parents can't stop him from doing anything. What are they going to do? Lock him in his room so he can't leave the house?
If you guys want to go on ho... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate!
Q. Here I am..again. Now trying to stop loving my wife. During the last 6 months 3 of her former FWB have written e-mails to her remembering their pleasure moments...I found out reading those e-mails (not spying , given we both have open access t...
A. 23 January 2017: Female anon is right. Orgasms and love have nothing to do with each other at all.
I have an ejaculation problem where I really struggle to finish during imtercourse. Only 3 people have made me do it in my life, but I'm not in love with any of t... (read in full...)
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