A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I 've been friendly with this girl that I work with.We have few things in common and we've had few good conversations.Her and I like to go to shows at art galleries so one day during conconversations,I asked her to come along to this show that was opening the following day.I explained that I was going and she seems cool.She said sure and we exchanged numbers.in any event,we solidified our plans but on our set date,she canceled because something had came up on her end. I said okay,let me know when you're free so we can go next time.She says ok but she never got back to me so I texted her a week later but I never got a response.I asked her about it when I ran into her few days later but she said she left her phone at her evening classes and she was going to retrieve it the following week.I hardly see her since she comes in casually. I texted her again after few weeks asking when she's free but I got no reply.I worked with her few days later and brought how she ignored my text.She didn't say much other than asking when I texted her.We chatted then I asked her again when she's free and she said she isn't sure.We're both females and I'm not interested in her romantically . She just seemed like someone I'd love to hangout with outside work and I just wanted someone to go with,who's into the same things as me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2017): It's so painfully obvious that you are chasing down somebody who has absolutely no interest in becoming your friend.
Move on already.
Gravitate towards those who reciprocate your interest.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 February 2017):
 I don't think she is interested in becoming friends with you. Not replying is her way off saying no. She just does not want to be honest with you. Stop trying with her, its not worth the effort.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 February 2017):
 I think she is a flake, and also she is NOT interested in friendship.
She said yes initially because she felt she HAD to and then canceled and after that, she just didn't put in an effort. The whole I left my phone and school... Yeah, I don't know sounds like a bad lie or excuse.
Could be that she has some anxiety issues OR she is not good at telling people no.
Either way, I'd stop trying.
The BALL is in her court, so IF she really DOES want to hang out and do stuff with you, SHE has your number.
Look elsewhere for friends. She isn't going to be one. She will be a co-worker and nothing more.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (2 February 2017):
 I think she was ok while you were just chatting at work but, once you wanted to take the friendship outside work, she decided - nobody except her knows why - this was beyond what she wanted.
If you have given her so many chances, and she has just not taken then up, then I think you need to assume she is not interested. I must admit I am a person who has seldom met anyone via work who I want to be friends with outside work. Many reasons for this are that I usually have nothing in common with people at work except work, I feel I spend more than enough time with them without socializing with them, and lastly, there are things I share with friends I would not share with work colleagues, so the line gets blurred if you are friends with a work colleague (if you see what I mean).
Despite your shared interests, this girl does not want you as a friend away from the workplace. Sad as it is, you need to respect her wishes and leave her to it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 February 2017):
 Stop asking her, she isn't interested in pursuing a friendship and you're probably making it very awkward for her by keep asking.
Some people like to keep their work like and personal life separate, me included. I wouldn't like to hang out with anyone from work.
You've asked her plenty of times now and you've still not hung out, don't you think you would of at least met up once by now if she wanted to?
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (2 February 2017):
 I hate to say it but some people are flakes. I'm VERY bad at texting back, and could definitely make more effort with people... I'm talking about friends here.im just someone who's forgetful/ absent minded...
Its particularly people I dont know well... Try just asking her out one on one, just for a coffee or something, if she makes excuses, take that as a sign she's too busy/ preoocupied in life/ no time for making new friends... Of you have stuff in common, dont take it personally...
If you do get to know her maybe be aware she may be flaky/ cancel a bit... Some people can be pretty lazy lol
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