A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just started dating a truly lovely guy, he is adorable and I really enjoy spending time with him. The problem is, things aren't totally electric in the bedroom. I'm quite a sexual person and chemistry and sexual connection is really important to me. The sex is nice, but not amazing. I think that this is due to two things, firstly I think he is a little bit inexperienced. Secondly, I think he has trouble maintaining a hard erection. He does a lot of weight lifting and my gut feeling is that this may be something to do with it. I really like this guy, but I want to have great sex. I don't know what to do or how to talk to him about this without offending him. Help!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 January 2017):
 Guide him. Without flat out telling him the sex is no good, Show him what you like and what you want him to do. He may be inexperience but I am sure it can be fun learning new things. Introduce new ideas, talk to him about spicing things up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2017): I don't have a good answer for you. Been there- it is difficult because there are flaws to almost everyone, his just happen to be in the sack. Obviously you care for him quite a lot. Wait and see if things improve. However, realize they may never, or maybe only slightly. Then you have to ask yourself, am I OK having an amazing relationship with a caring man (not a lot of people get), however the sex will always be lacking? Or is this a dealbreaker? Unfortunately when I was in your situation my relationship did end. For other reasons, but I think this was in the back of my mind. I miss that man for all his other great qualities and someitmes regret that choice. However, another thing to consider is that, if the erection problems keep up, it may affect your own self confidence. Not that it has anything to do with you, but again, over time, you may long for the feeling of being desired by a rock hard dick :P All things to think over carefully...Good luck, wish I had a better answer for you.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (23 January 2017):
 If you enjoy him out of the bedroom too, he is worth giving a few second chances. Sometimes men are clueless in bed, so speak up and def flirt and tell him how you like things. If he is going soft, maybe he is a bit nervous. Just continue to let him know you like him and be relaxed. Enjoy the foreplay more. Maybe introduce dirty talk or more intimate conversations to see where that takes you. Weightlifting wont cause him to lose erections, it may be that he takes some sort of vitamin (hopefully not steroids!) that may be making him lose erection. So talk to him about it. Good luck !
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 January 2017):
 Talk to him. Unless you tell him it's not up to scratch he thinks everything is fine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2017): Just talk to him in a nice voice there is alot of things to make ur sex better try different Position in bed
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2017): Just tell him dammit, some guys may get offended because they think they are professionals in bed, but at the same time we don't want you to leave us for someone else. Take control of your own pleasure, we can't read your minds, every girl is different, help us out.
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