Like what
he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message | | | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
|
| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
|
My girlfriend's cousin seemed so flirtatious... am I imagining it?
Q. My girlfriend's cousin lives abroad. When we went to meet her, I got on with her and found her very friendly and enthusiastic. After a while I got that instinctive... is she flirting with me? feeling, but figured I was imagining it because my girlf...
A. 12 January 2017: I'm with slippers I remember your previous post.
Are you hoping to read different answers? Sounds to me like you're hoping she was flirting or you'd of let it drop last time.
You have a gf, what would it matter if she was flirting? ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of our anxieties and start to date?
Q. I really like this guy I met online. We have spoken a lot and he's asked to meet me. I am extremely shy and it (has) taken me a while to get comfortable with meeting new people. Sometimes it stops me meeting people because I get so worried about ...
A. 12 January 2017: Don't go to his house until you've met him a few times and you feel you're comfortable enough.
Even if he's legit and further down the line you do go to his house, tell someone exactly where you are.
From a guys perspective, him asking you t... (read in full...)
Did I over-react when I was upset about his weak excuse for canceling his visit?
Q. My long distance bf who lives 3 hours away was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only ...
A. 12 January 2017: Stop fighting for him to give you time. Let him be, he didn't have the balls to tell you he was seeing someone else, which in my books is an asshole move. He was keeping you around just in case it didn't work out with the other girl.
Do as honey... (read in full...)
Is it normal we haven't got into a fight yet? And is it good or bad?
Q. Okay so basically I've been told by a couple of my friends that its not good my boyfriend and I haven't actual fought yet. We've been together for a little over four months, we irritate and annoy each other at points but we haven't actually...
A. 11 January 2017: I've heard this so many times. Why would you WANT to argue? Your friends opinion is silly and if you haven't fallen out with your bf yet then that's just the way it goes and that's a good thing if anything. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop him bringing up my ex'?
Q. My boyfriend constantly keeps on about my past. I'm 4 years older than him and had a long-term relationship with someone else before we met. He's only ever really had flings and more casual relationships before me. We've been together 4 years but ...
A. 11 January 2017: If I were you I'd ask why the sudden start in bringing it up. Very odd behaviour if it's only recently started happening.
There must be a reason why he's doing it so might as well find out why.... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: Sounds like she's done you a favour. Making you miss your child growing up so that you can have the pleasure of her company?
I wouldn't even be worrying about her, if I were you I'd be trying to make amends with my son and trying to get into his... (read in full...)
Don't want this to get out of hand. Should I let this messaging everyday friendship develop?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm a 19 year old female, looking for some wisdom, perhaps telling me what I instinctively know myself but I just need somebody else's perspective. I've recently gone to university and made a great male friend, and currently...
A. 10 January 2017: I don't think he will change for you, he's a very young guy and probably doing the exact same as what al of his friends do.
I think slowing the contact down a little may be a good idea if you feel like you're going to fall for him more.... (read in full...)
How should I act towards him for the best outcome?
Q. A while ago I kissed someone from work who I had liked for a while. He told me he had feelings for me and we began texting. -But then later said because his ex works at the same place nothing could happen. And then kissed a different co wor...
A. 10 January 2017: Just forget about him.
Don't text him or speak to him about anything unless it's work related, look at the amount of drama it's caused. He clearly has something still going on with his ex so just leave them to it.
Let this be a lesson to never ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react when I was upset about his weak excuse for canceling his visit?
Q. My long distance bf who lives 3 hours away was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only ...
A. 9 January 2017: Lame excuse.
If anything you'd think he would want to get out of the house and have a laugh with his gf.
Doesn't sound like he's too bothered about the prospect of the relationship ending so I think it would be a good idea to go through with ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lost his job, became depressed and now won't speak to me!
Q. I'm in a pretty bad situation. I dated a guy for 6 months long distance and were very serious- he met my family, I spoke to his, our parents talked- we were on the marriage track. 4 months into it he told me that he was unemployed. It threw me for a ...
A. 9 January 2017: The more you message him the further and further away youre pushing him. Neediness is NOT attractive in the slightest. If he's not responding, what can you do? Leave him to it.
Why are YOU begging HIM for forgiveness? What have you done wrong? A... (read in full...)
We enjoy each other's company but nothing seems to be starting! Any advice, aunties?
Q. In April last year I met a guy at a local sports club I go to and over the course of the last few months we've built up a friendship and now regularly see each other outside our sports club. We're both single and in our 30s and at the start of las...
A. 9 January 2017: He mustn't be interested in you that way. He's clearly not shy as you've spent time together alone before. I think if he wanted to date you he would be more proactive about it.... (read in full...)
We enjoy each other's company but nothing seems to be starting! Any advice, aunties?
Q. In April last year I met a guy at a local sports club I go to and over the course of the last few months we've built up a friendship and now regularly see each other outside our sports club. We're both single and in our 30s and at the start of las...
A. 9 January 2017: He mustn't be interested in you that way. He's clearly not shy as you've spent time together alone before. I think if he wanted to date you he would be more proactive about it.... (read in full...)
Do women dream about male virgins too?
Q. Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...
A. 9 January 2017: I don't think a woman who's not a Virgin would actively seek out a man who is a Virgin. I'd imagine a female to want a man who knows what he's doing as sex can become very awkward if one of the parties doesn't really know what they're doing.
Possi... (read in full...)
Why was my BF not receptive enough to my naughty Snapchat video?
Q. I sent my BF a racy Snapchat video. I don't want to say exactly but it was definitely "naughty" and involved private parts. Well, it took him 2 hours to see it and respond. He said... "Mmmmmm. How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing t...
A. 8 January 2017: I have my snapchat notifications turned off so I don't see them pop up ever, meaning I don't reply to some people for days, possibly even weeks.
I really think you're worrying over nothing.... (read in full...)
What should I do about my ex-partner and eventually getting him back?
Q. How do I get my ex boyfriend back?? I was with him for one year but friends for years before that. I have previously been in an abusive relationship(6 years ago) The partner at the time lied and lied to me that he wasn't cheating, to the point...
A. 8 January 2017: You really need to concentrate on yourself first, that's the main priority. Once you're in a better place then you can think about fixing things with your ex but please don't get your hopes up as you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.... (read in full...)
How long does a relationship 'break' last?
Q. How long do relationship 'breaks' generally last? My fiancé has suggested two weeks but then said it could be indefinitely, I feel she is messing with my head. ...
A. 8 January 2017: As the others have said, I don't think it's looking promising. How could you possibly need a break if the relationship is going well?
My guess is she's got cold feet about the wedding but doesn't have the heart to tell you.
If I were you I'd j... (read in full...)
Am I being over sensitive? or is my reaction understandable?
Q. Feeling fed up! So I'm about to turn 30 in 2 days time I've spent the last year dreading the time coming I don't know why - I know age is just s number etc however my 2 best friends have been insisting that we must do something to celebrate my ...
A. 8 January 2017: Yeah I think I'd be quite annoyed also if you didn't really want to plan anything then they made you change your mind only to come up with excuses not to.
Aunty bimbim made a good suggestion of a film night or maybe just have a little gatherin... (read in full...)
Why was my BF not receptive enough to my naughty Snapchat video?
Q. I sent my BF a racy Snapchat video. I don't want to say exactly but it was definitely "naughty" and involved private parts. Well, it took him 2 hours to see it and respond. He said... "Mmmmmm. How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing t...
A. 8 January 2017: I think you're blowing this way out of proportion.
As wiseowl said, I've been sent pictures and videos before off people i wouldn't expect to send that kind of stuff and it caught me off guard and I didn't really know how to respond.
Maybe h... (read in full...)
Is it just the sex he wants?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 3 months now, but we don't meet often, only once per 1 or 2 weeks, depending on our work schedules. We do go on dates when we meet, not just sex. He remembered my bday even though I have only mentioned it once and he ...
A. 7 January 2017: You don't want a relationship maybe he doesn't either, this is the first time he's done this, but I don't see why you're so offended by it considering you have sex everytime you see each other anyways. You're saying all he has to do is take you to ... (read in full...)
Uncertain what the silence could mean
Q. I met this woman on OKCupid and we started writing to each other. I noticed that she logged in only once a week but she did respond whenever she logged in. The messages were also good. If I wrote 2 paragraphs her reply was also 2 paragraphs, if I ...
A. 7 January 2017: If someone wants to speak to you they will do. Nobody in the world is busy to an extent they can't reply to a text.
She's not interested.... (read in full...)
I can't get over this girl that rejected me 3 months ago!
Q. I can't get over this girl that rejected me 3 months ago because, I smoke pot, drink, go to parties and deal a little bit of weed and molly to make a little bit of some extra cash when i'm not at school. I tried to hide that I was feeling sad from ...
A. 6 January 2017: Dude, I remember you asking your questions before. You need to realise that She IS NOT INTERESTED.
Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help and the only person that can get you out of this slump is yourself. I've been exactly where you are,... (read in full...)
Why is my ex boyfriend still so angry at me?
Q. why is my ex boyfriend still so angry at me? He broke off our relationship six months ago for no reason that I could see. When I asked him all he could say was that he wanted someone who was the same every day. Makes no sense as I am always i...
A. 6 January 2017: Who cares?
He's your ex. Leave him to it. If he wasnts to spend his time resenting you when you've done nothing wrong then allow him to.
Move on with your life and stop wondering what you've done wrong.... (read in full...)
Heartbroken, but I want to forgive him. What are my options? Found out my Bf has been cheating.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. Lately he has been acting weird and always on Snapchat and never responds to my text but responds to me on Snapchat. One day he left his Snapchat logged in on my iPad and I became curious. ...
A. 6 January 2017: What's to say he won't do it again?
Surely there's someone out there for you that won't put you through this pain? Don't forgive him just because you don't want to be lonely. Cheating is the biggest disrespect in a relationship.
Think long an... (read in full...)
Will my virginity lose him?
Q. Hello, I have only known my boyfriend for a week and we seem to have a connection. The only problem is I don't want to have sex with him as I have never had sex before. I feel as though I'm not ready for it. I feel as though he does. He said to ...
A. 6 January 2017: You've known him for one week? You're definitely not in love.
If he ever pressures you into something you don't want to do then he's not the right person for you I'm afraid.... (read in full...)
His behavior has me asking if he is bisexual!
Q. Hey everyone, Thanks for taking the time to hear me out. I met my boyfriend in college almost 3 years ago. We've gotten along great and haven't had any serious issues...until now. I've just recently noticed that his behavior is a little od...
A. 5 January 2017: He's bi curious at a minimum. There's absolutely no way he's fully straight having these thoughts.... (read in full...)
I fancy my friend's housemate!
Q. I really fancy my friend's housemate. She doesn't. But he is super nice to her and I wonder if he fancies her. She does not see him like that but it makes me feel sad. Is he just being friendly? I feel that everyone always fancies her over me and ...
A. 5 January 2017: So why don't you ask him out?... (read in full...)
She's broken up with her girlfriend and I've always thought we could have something special together, what should I do?
Q. Yesterday I bumped into an old friend, someone I haven't seen much of this past year, but someone I have always, since we first met, had very strong feelings for. In the entire time that I have known her she has always had a long-term girlfriend, ...
A. 5 January 2017: Sounds like she probably wants to be single for a while with the comment she made. But if you feel like something could happen then why don't you start hang out again ?
What have you got to lose? If she rejects your offer then at least you have... (read in full...)
His behavior has me asking if he is bisexual!
Q. Hey everyone, Thanks for taking the time to hear me out. I met my boyfriend in college almost 3 years ago. We've gotten along great and haven't had any serious issues...until now. I've just recently noticed that his behavior is a little od...
A. 5 January 2017: He's 100% bi but doesnt want to admit it. What straight man would ask for a threesome where his gf can't be touched by the other man but he can?
He's very much in denial... (read in full...)
I don't want to nag, but my boyfriend won't shower. Solutions? How should I respond?
Q. I'm 26 and I've just got into a relationship with a guy who's just turned 25. We've been seeing each other for months and we've been official for less than 3 weeks. As you can imagine I'm still in the honeymoon phase but he's straight away made him...
A. 5 January 2017: You tell him straight. Either you shower or I'm gone. That's absolutely disgusting behaviour.... (read in full...)
I am in love with my casual sex guy!
Q. I'm in love with the guy I am seeing for casual sex, I cannot get over him and the thing is I'm getting mixed feelings about it, like he doesn't ask how's it going normally , he only talks when he wants sex but during sex he wants to cuddle, what to ...
A. 5 January 2017: You need to move on, if you carry on speaking to this guy you'll end up heartbroken. You will NEVER get together with this guy or else you already would be.
Block him from your life and move on. ... (read in full...)
He likes and comments on my social media but blanks when invited out!
Q. Okay so I met this guy on social media but I don't get him.... seems we have a lot in common and when we've spoken convo flowed well. He follows me on two types of social media as I do him. Sometimes now he don't reply to conversations......
A. 5 January 2017: Sounds like he's flaky.
If he was fully interested he would accept your invitations out.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't include me in his birthday plans
Q. Is my boyfriend trying to distance himself from me? Or is he trying to break up with me slowly? My boyfriend is acting like a jerk and didnt invite me to his birthday celebration. We spent NYE together and everything was normal. He was ...
A. 4 January 2017: Only he can answer this one.... (read in full...)
I don't like feeling so alone!
Q. I need some advice on being lonely. I posted his question once before and would really appreciate some more help pleasseeeee I've been feeling so lonely that I cry myself to sleep every night. I feel that I have nothing to live for. All I do is...
A. 4 January 2017: I've seen you ask this question 3 times now and you have received good advice each time. Have you tried everything that's been suggested? I don't think you could have and still be having this issue.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in love with my boobs, but is he in love with me?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to be TOTALLY fixated on breasts?. I know guys like them, but my bf is totally fixated with my breasts. It might sound like a womans best dream, but when he cums he dosnt want to just cum normally, like any other man. he ...
A. 4 January 2017: Some people just really like boobs. Same as others liking bums, legs, feet. I don't think it's anything to worry about really.
Does he make sure you're satisfied during sex? Or literally take care of himself then that's it? Because then it's a p... (read in full...)
He is two different boyfriends in one. Mr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He's making me feel scared. what should I do?
Q. MODNOTE FREE UK resources added by the Moderator: http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/if-you-are-a-woman-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx Phone 0808 2000 247 in UK and http://www.refuge.org.uk/what-we-do/our-services/helpline/ ...
A. 31 December 2016: Leave immediately. Nothing you can do can change how he treats you.... (read in full...)
How can I meet this guy?
Q. So there was this guy I fancied and asked him for a drink but he ignored me....... anyway I'm over him now but just discovered a friend of his. He was on a the to series first dates and I had this instant attraction to him when I watched it just ...
A. 31 December 2016: Unless you message him how does he know you exist?
What do you have to lose?... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex is deliberately calling me on purpose? Is he seeking my attention? Or is it likely that the calls were an accident?
Q. We were together for 7 years, and broke off 4 months ago. He missed call me today (on social media) at 8am. And I texted "u called?" He said it was accidental. So I didn't reply. Then he missed call again at 130pm. I texted this ":/" Then h...
A. 31 December 2016: Social media suggested Facebook to me.
Even in whatsapp you need to click either on the contact name or the chat conversation and then another few clicks to make the call, so that would have to be some real unfortunate accident.... (read in full...)
I've given her support over the years. But now she seems to have dropped me. Should I just accept her rejection and move on?
Q. My friend is mad at me after constantly asking me for advice and not liking my advice. Okay I have this friend from college - we met in class 3 years ago and kept an in-class friendship, we messaged almost every day on Facebook but we live 3 ho...
A. 30 December 2016: I only read half of this.
What are you getting out of this friendship? She doesn't help you when you need it, ignores your requests to hang out and then gives you grief when you help her.
Sounds like everything is on her terms and she only tak... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex is deliberately calling me on purpose? Is he seeking my attention? Or is it likely that the calls were an accident?
Q. We were together for 7 years, and broke off 4 months ago. He missed call me today (on social media) at 8am. And I texted "u called?" He said it was accidental. So I didn't reply. Then he missed call again at 130pm. I texted this ":/" Then h...
A. 30 December 2016: Yeah, I don't think I've ever accidentally called someone on Facebook in about 7 years of using it.
Why do you still have each other on there? Block him and it won't happen anymore.... (read in full...)
What do I do? Don't want to split up. Yet also don't want a Bf who behaves like a cheater 2.
Q. hiya everyone me and my fiance have been together for 3 years. A few month ago he started to add women on facebook the women he added were the type of women he said he would like as a girlfriend. I asked him why he was adding them (he hardly uses ...
A. 30 December 2016: You need to make a decision.
You cant just go on in a relationship with no trust can you? Always having niggling doubts in the back of your mind wondering what he's up to.
You need to weigh up the pros and cons, only you can decide whether h... (read in full...)
He is moving too fast, talking children, houses and marriage. He already has three kids.
Q. I need some advice I met this guy years ago down the pub via mutual friends he admitted he liked me never felt that same way. He then stopped speaking to me due to new gd etc and now has 3 kids with her who is now an ex September those yr he sees ...
A. 30 December 2016: You tell him straight.
'Look x, we are not in a relationship so I don't appreciate you telling people that we are. I also find it very uncomfortable that you're planning a future for us when we're not even dating. I would like it if you would ba... (read in full...)
| *91's friends
These are mutual friends, so *91 has
added them and they have added *91!
|
