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When should I tell this guy about my health problems?

Tagged as: Dating, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've got a couple of health conditions that impact day to day life, one with my breathing and one to do nerve damage causing a lot of pain. I've started seeing a new guy and don't know when I should bring these things up in conversation, like should I hold back about most of it and slowly let him know more when it's relevant or just be straight up from date No. 1?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (24 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntJust let him know whenever you feel like doing so. It is your health and your business. However if your breathing is effected and you may take some sort off attack while on the date and need inhalers or anything then you should give him the heads up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2017):

As you say, probably you could slowly start mentioning one thing at a time. Doesn't have to be on the first date, maybe on the second, third or fourth you could introduce. However, it could be on the first date if you get into deep conversation and end up talking for hours! I think you just need to feel out the situation and then decide. But don't leave it too long.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2017):

If your medical issues require an epipen, you are diabetic on insulin, or asthmatic; or any medical disorder that requires an immediate injection or dosage of medication; he should be told as soon as possible. In the event of a sudden attack or episode; so no one is caught off-guard, or should you need his assistance.

He doesn't need to be told anything if you're only chatting online.

If you are casually seeing someone, not certain of any real attraction, or just getting acquainted; you can take your time revealing very personal medical information. Never hide it or be embarrassed. It would probably embarrass you more to have a sudden attack on a date, and he has no idea why.

If you are seeking treatment under a mental-healthcare professional or therapist, but you're healthy and functional; you can delay this personal-information until you are well-acquainted.

Casual-dating does not require a lot of detailed information about yourself. You are entitled to your privacy. Until you have some measure of trust, and know the person, you have no obligation to reveal such information.

Withholding information about potentially lethal sexually-transmitted diseases is illegal in some countries; and can result in criminal prosecution. That is the only time you are obligated to notify a potential sex-partner of your diagnosed STD. Any other time, it is at your own discretion.

It is unwise to withhold information about yourself for fear of losing someone. It is better to establish how they feel about you before going into too much detail. It is only fair to allow someone to fall in-love knowing anything that might cause serious complications; and they must be left the option to decline commitment, if it goes against their set criteria for a mate. Love is only real when it is based on truth and honesty.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2017):

N91 agony auntIt's nothing to be embarrassed about but I think if you feel like you have to tell him it would be a good idea to mention it sooner rather than later.

That way if for whatever reason he doesn't want to continue seeing you because of it you've not developed strong feelings for him and it would be easier to get over him.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2017):

N91 agony auntIt's nothing to be embarrassed about but I think if you feel like you have to tell him it would be a good idea to mention it sooner rather than later.

That way if for whatever reason he doesn't want to continue seeing you because of it you've not developed strong feelings for him and it would be easier to get over him.

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