A
female
age
30-35,
*anita
writes:my boyfriend hasn't spoken to me for two weeks..he suddenly went silent after we argued over the fact that I wasn't ready for sex .we have only gone out for almost a month.I like him but I don't want to base my relationship on sex....do I call him or not?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2017): Here is the deal just because you wait to have sex doesn't mean that the relationship will work out. Plus if your being such a prude, and this guy see this you could cause to him to start thinking thoughts like "wow is this girl going to be this way whenever she feels i am being to sexual"
Guys love sex and if you really like him just talk to him about your concerns.But there are a lot of fish in the sea and like said holding out doesn't guarantee relationship success, and believe me you want your guy to see you as a sexual being, as well a respectable human being. Since he has not left yet he already has respect for you, so give it up or giddy up because the one wasting time is you.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 February 2017):
 No..let him pout in silence. If he's not an idiot he'll call you to say he's sorry. If he is an idiot and doesn't call then you're better off.
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A
female
reader, vanita +, writes (2 February 2017):
vanita is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow....thanks alot guys...with all your answers I now nkow am right...he even tried to give me the "I am ready to marry you anytime talk" but I guess he forgot am past 16 ...I now get the fact that he is just a manipulator...I hope someday I will meet the right guy..
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (2 February 2017):
 I completely understand that you will miss him, as you liked him and thought you had something going, but remember this: you liked and miss the person you BELIEVED him to be, not the person he turned out to be.
Well done for not giving in and having sex when you were not ready. He would have left anyway so at least you have so much less hurt to deal with.
Keep your standards high - you are worth it - and someone will come along who will be right for you. This guy wasn't.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 February 2017):
 I'd break up if I were you.
No respect for you whatsoever.
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A
male
reader, VitaminZ  +, writes (2 February 2017):
Don't speak to him again. He doesn't care about you. He only wanted sex from you. That's it. If you let him, he will crush your heart. Stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (2 February 2017):
 He's not your boyfriend... He's a horny boy that wants sex and ONLY sex from you... It shows without sex he's not invested in getting to know a woman... Please wake up, it's sad but true there are a lot of scumbag users out there, you've been given the gift of common sense. Dont call him!
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-left-me-because-i-wouldnt-have-sex.html
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2017): No, do not call him.
He is pressuring you for sex much too early.
You are not ready.
Stand your ground.
I suggest you move on to be honest. Because it looks obvious that all he wants is sex from you, and not a relationship. Do not let him use you. You will be sorry. After sex, you will become more attached and it will be harder to let him go. Because you will have to let him go as he is not a keeper. Better to let him go before you give your body and soul to him and your virginity. He does not deserve it. The right guy would wait. He would be patient. And he would be KIND. He would not cut you off like that for 2 weeks. Talk about mean and immature. He is only concerned about his feelings and not at all about how you feel. Or how he is hurting YOU. Do you want a man who does not give a shit about your heart and soul and only in what's between your legs? Who wants that kind of a man? He is being passive aggressive and trying to pressure you into calling him by ignoring you. He will have won if you do that. He will have gotten his way. Play him at his own game. Leave him in the dust where he belongs.
He sounds like a loser.
Never, ever compromise your values or who you are to please any man!
Never!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 February 2017):
 I wouldn't call him.
I know that you like him but it seems like his silence is supposed to either make you GIVE IN and drop your panties (because HE wants sex) and make you feel bad for not being ready or the silence is because he is "ghosting you" (which means he has dumped you without bothering to tell you).
NONE of those reasons are VALID behaviors.
You aren't ready for sex, so maybe... HE is NOT the guy for you and you are NOT the girl for him.
I mean can you really see yourself with this guy long term who throws a "silent" fit everytime you have a different opinion or stand up for yourself?
I think I would send him an:" I wish you good luck, don't call again or contact me ever as I don't think we would work out."
After that? BLOCK him.
It's TOTALLY OK to not be ready after ONLY a month of dating, or 6 months or whatever YOUR standard is.
What is not OK is to get PISSY about you not being ready.
That is immature and selfish.
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