A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! Maybe this will be pretty obvious to you but I'm terrible when it comes to relationships and understanding men.I like this friend of mine (we were friends first) and he knows I like him, and we've kissed before but we were always drunk and stopped it because we knew I was getting hurt. when we talked about it he said I'm special, a nice girl and I don't give myself the value I should but he's trying to forget his ex and he's frustrated that he still loves her (it didn't end well and he knows she doesn't deserve him, but they still talk and are close friends, thing I don't get but he does what he want to do). We agreed that I would focus in our friendship and if something changed with him he would come to me and tell.So in the last 2/3 weeks, we occasionally go to my house and lay down on my bed to watch a series we started watching together.. at first we started with doing c.....? at each other but lately we moved on to back massages (from the neck to lower back, clothes on but hands beneath the shirt)... It was him who started with this, and massages (I was like if he's doing to me I'll do it to him too..)So my question is: do you think he's ready to move on and try something with me?
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drunk, his ex, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 September 2017):
 I think you should cut contact with this guy. It is clear he was only using you to be intimate with. If he cared about you he would not have treated you so badly and with such disrespect. I think you need to cut contact and make better friends who don't treat you so badly.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (19 September 2017):
 Why do this to yourself?
Surely there's other people you can speak to? He's shown his sleazy nature and I can't imagine it stopping. The feelings you have for him are likely to come back when you're seeing each other in person again.
What you have isn't a friendship, it's him trying to sleep with you whilst his GF is out of the picture and you hoping for more. You're enabling his behaviour by going along with it. What's the point? He's a waste of time, block him, delete and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, it's been a long time I know but when I finally got some calmness in my life I couldn't find the website and then i didn't remembered my credentials but here i am. So, news... Lets see if I can explain, I hope I won't be too confusing :) basically I'm in a big mess, well was because I'm good now. About a month after I posted this question here we started getting physical (kisses, some things more intimate...) once in a while, but nothing serious... We were okay for about 3 months until he started to be a bit distant and cold, but when I asked if something was wrong, he said no. Until one day he showed up with this girl and they are dating now. The problem is when we were fooling around he used to say things that were ambiguous (like "I wanna be with you but I don't have the courage because you used to friend with my ex", "I fucked up my life, don't fuck up yours"... his ex was always annoying him, telling him that I was important to her when she stopped talking me, crazy bitch basically. A friend of mine has the theory that he was tired of putting up with his ex and found a girl as an easy way out) and a month ago, when he was already dating for like 2 months, he was a bit drunk and was asking me if I wanted him to grab my ass and pick me up to his lap, and if I hadn't put a stop in that I don't know where he was going... We continued to talk because we have a good friendship, sometimes it was a good conversation but other times he just created shit where there isn't. And it got worse after I told him that I didn't want anything with him anymore, because I don't want a guy who plays with me, only thought about him, and the worst part, even after having a girlfriend sleeps in the same bed with me and cuddle and grabs me (this only happened because I didn't knew he was dating)In the present time, because of our work, we are miles away from each other (and he is miles away from his girlfriend), we talk with some regularity which I try to reduce by taking longer time to reply to his messages; our conversations are normal and I finally feel like I don't feel anything for him but friendship (and I'm really happy about it, I was getting tired of giving value to someone who doesn't deserve it, despite the fact that even if I still liked him, I didn't wanted anything with him) but I must confess that I'm bit afraid about what's going to happen when we return to live in the same city, which is happening in a month and a half...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (31 January 2017):
Yeah speak with him about the ex. Let us know!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both! I'll talk to him the next time we're alone to find out where he is with his ex and with me. Then I'll let you know how it went and maybe make more questions
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (28 January 2017):
 I agree, if you're going to be getting physical on a regular basis you owe it to yourself to find out where you stand/ what he's after- a relationship or just something casual.
You WILL get hurt if you go along without finding out. You obviously like him a lot and getting physical is going to intensify your feelings for him. So better establish now what the situation is and if he wants a relationship... If its just physical, then distance yourself- because you'll always want more, and he may never return that.
Wish you well. Maybe possibly in the future but you really don't want a rebound, it's not worth the pain. Cut the cpntat right down and just focus on meeting other people. You're incredibly young
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (28 January 2017):
You need to find out where he's up to with his ex.
Its very possible he could start using you for sex whilst he's still hung up on his ex. Unless he's over her and you BOTH want to go down the path of a relationship I'd be very careful of how physical you get with him.
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