A
male
age
36-40,
*hilip88
writes:This has been bothering me for a fair few years. Even more so that my wife has tried to help. I have unfortunately never cum from a blowjob, ever.I think it bothers me so much because i really enjoy them. Its like listening to your favourite song but turning it off at the really good bit.Anyone elce got this problem.Anyone know the solution.I'm willing to try anything tbh.Tha ks x
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blow-job, oral sex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Philip88 +, writes (3 May 2017):
Philip88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for all your responses, i appreciate them greatly.
I've attemted to seek out therapy already but that kinda didnt work. I got put on a waiting list in February 2014 and im still waiting lol. Thats the NHS for you.
As for my brother, he's dead.
Not really much i can do about that.
As for my original problem, i guess I'll just have to live with it, or i could ask my wife if she'll tickle my prostate and see if that works hahaha!
If you don't laugh your demons will xx
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2017):
 I am unsure if your past and this problem are connected, but I will take a guess that they are. It is usually some mental block that is stopping you from reaching orgasm. Yes you may be enjoying it but your mind is not fully letting go. Seek help for your past. It really is important to do so. Many people think they can survive sexual abuse by burying it, but it always comes out, it needs to be dealt with. You don't deserve to deal with this alone, and your brother doesn't deserve to get away with it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2017): Your past with your brother is likely playing apart, so get help if you haven't already.
The anonymous with a different approach makes a very valid point- maybe those giving you the bjs aren't that good. You say your wife has tried to help, well done to her, so it might be the reason.
I find it difficult to orgasm during oral. It sometimes do, but often, I don't. Now, I know that this is because of three things- my wife doesn't like doing them so the fun is kind of killed off. I'm cicumcised so the head of my penis is less sensitive. This means sex and bjs take ages. Finally, I masturbate more often than I should. I know that if I leave myself alone for a while, I'm more likey to come.
Perhaps it's a combination of all the above for you. Don't let it bother you though- I know it can be frustrating. Learn to enjoy the act as it is!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2017): My approach might be different.
Only one woman has made me come from Oral sex: myone time ex GF i dated for 3 years. She could make me come from Oral sex through out our relationship. After that, i am yet to meet anyone. In my opinion, you are meeting women who are not very skillful in this department. If you meet the right one, she might be able to get you off.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (24 April 2017):
 I'm with chigirl.
Your brother took your innocence and ruined your childhood and you're doing yourself an injustice by letting him get away with it. I'm sorry you had to experience what you did.
Inform the police and get therapy. You shouldn't surpress things like that.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 April 2017):
 I understand what you are hinting at. And I am sorry you had to experience that. I would recommend you face this negative experience, rather than surpress it. Report your brother. Cut the contact with him. Get into therapy. Memories do come back as you grow older. These things are the most difficult to heal from, so allow yourself the time it takes to heal. Im actually seeing a lawyer today... Pressing charges of abuse against my father.
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A
male
reader, Philip88 +, writes (23 April 2017):
Philip88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks chigirl for your reply
Infact you are quite right about one thing i had overlooked. I had a unfortunate childhood that i wont get into too much, but lets just say my brother used me for his education. This is probably a massive facter. It's easy for me to mention on here but in real life i have repressed those memories for a long time.
Never thought of it that way thanks.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (23 April 2017):
I am not a man, but having had my fair share of boyfriends I can tell you, you are not alone. I've seen this with others. Why it is, I don't know, but as long as you enjoy a blowjob, then why would you need to orgasm from it? Enjoy the bj, then have your big finish through some other means. Maybe try to use your hand on yourself to finish while she helps you out with her tongue? Or just finish doing something else entirely. This isn't really a problem.
A boyfriend of mine with this issue, he almost came in my mouth once, and then he STOPPED deliberately, because he was nervous I wouldn't like it if he came in my mouth. Worried about the taste, I guess, or about surprising me with it and making me upset. I told him, honey, when Im down there I can tell when you're about to come, and if I don't move my mouth then it's because I don't want to move my mouth, and you need to relax. But he was never close again after that, and he told me he had also NEVER reached orgasm through bj's. So in that case, I think it's all built up in his head, that he doesn't want to orgasm from a bj, so it doesn't happen because he has always tried his best to avoid it from happening... Such "habits" can be hard to change.
So, in the past, have you experienced anything negative when it comes to bj's? This could be why. Such as a woman telling you she doesn't like the taste, or talking you down in another way etc. Such things and little comments, you know, they can really get attached in ones head and ruin an otherwise great sexlife.
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