A
female
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*ackie69
writes:Well...not been on here for a while. I am engaged, pretty happy with my partner of 5 years then my mother goes and mentions my ex who split with me when times got hard on my family farm and I got very depressed and lost everything. Things got nasty and he text me one day didn't want us anymore after 3 yrs.So mother mentions him today...makes me upset as makes me cross, so I look on facebook and see he has just got engaged to a girl very similar to me in many ways.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 May 2017):
 You are surrounded in love, but yet you still have not seemed to let go off the past. You need to close that part off your life for you to fully move on. It sounds from your update that you still have a lot off bitterness and emotion attached to the past. Please try and get help for the past before you bring it in to the future. Are you sure you are not marrying this man because he gives you everything you are meant to have? Are you sure you really love him? You are not settling because he is good to you? Just have a think and make sure that what you are doing with your life is what you want, and not to prove a point to your ex.
A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (10 May 2017):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all the answers. I have sat down and really looked at the situation. I have a man in my life that loves me, takes me abroad without notice to places I love and treats with great respect. I love him.
I then remember the man I didn't fall out of love with but who left me when I was broken and so low I nearly took my life for how abusive he was. But of course in my head I though was all my fault. It will come back on him one day and I will be the one who is in bliss. As my life isn't miserable anymore and I am surrounded in love.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (10 May 2017):
Have you dealt fully with the fact that he left you when things got hard? Because if you had it shouldn't upset you when your mum mentions him. I mean he was a part off your past, but be glad he is not part off your future if he is so unreliable. You have agreed to marry someone else are you sure you are ready for that?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 Just like YOU moved on with someone else, so did your ex. Nothing strange in that. OR did you expect for your ex to remain single to the end of his days?
He wasn't for you. He couldn't handle hard times.
In your mind's eye just WISH the ex well, don't carry around bitterness from the past. There is NO point to it.
If you are happy now and he is happy now, that is a good thing. Doesn't mean he has changed (the ex) or that YOU weren't GOOD enough for him, somehow. All it means it you two weren't meant for each other and took different paths.
BE sure that the path you are ON is the one you WANT to be on. And the partner you have the one you want to grow old with. Focus on YOUR life. Not some "blast from the past". Who cares? He wasn't man enough back them to try and make things work. HIS loss...
Let it go.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 May 2017):
 I'm with YCBS.
This guy is in the past, don't worry about him and tell your mother never to bring him up again as it's something you don't wish to talk or think about.
Also, the pretty happy part? Why is that? You may want to reconsider marrying someone that you're only partly happy with until you have talked about what it is that's making you feel this way. Don't marry someone you're having doubts about in the hope that things will sort their self out.
They won't.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (9 May 2017):
 I hope she is rich and never hits hard times. You saw his true colours when times became hard. Thank your lucky stars it happened BEFORE you got married.
I notice you say you are "pretty happy" with your partner. Perhaps you need to look at your relationship and see what you can do to make it "very happy"?
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