A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I guess I'll start from the beginning in September my dad became very unwell I was originally born in London but live in Ireland in Dublin as my parents split up when I was younger.Since I found out my dad was sick I've been travelling to London where he lives back and forth on my days off as well as working 56-60 hour weeks.Around March I made the decision that I would move to London and transfer through my job so I could spend more time with my dad as I knew these would be my last moments with him.during that time I met a guy online who is really nice and we been speaking more or less each day since that time but have really only gone on two dates because of the distance and because of the priorities I have to my dad.He is a really nice guy I don't really know what the relationship is yet. Or if this will be something more than dating.My original plan was to move over on May 10 and have a week with my dad and then join work however things didn't go to plan and I ended up having to come to London on short notice today to be with him in his final days. I'm a very private person so this guy does not really know the ins and outs of what I have moved for and why i am moving to London I have mentioned that my dad was unwell but not in detail or to the extent of what the situation is.I now know that these next few days and weeks will be hard however I don't really know how it should be with this guy I haven't told him that I'm in London. I don't expect anything from him however I just find the situation awkward to bring up on the conversation that I'm now in the country I also don't want him to feel like he has to step up in some way because this is something that is still very fresh between us and we still don't know what that is. I guess my real question is is it going to be difficult for me to continue dating this guy if I'm going to have some personal problems going on at the same time? Will it scare him away that I'm going through something like this? I know I'm overthinking it but that's just the kind of person I am I have to think of every situation and scenario possibleThank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2017): In the realm of "personal problems" this is not the kind of thing that should scare someone off. A violent ex, or a background of drug use, would be different. This simply shows what a wonderful person you are through the care and concern you have for your father.
As long as you don't make it sound like you are putting emotional demands on this fellow, there should be no concern. If he can't handle this, he is not the guy who will be with you to share the joys and sorrows of life.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (9 May 2017):
 I am sorry to hear that your Dad is so unwell. These things are never easy to deal with. It sounds like you are very clued on for your age and have everything under control. However at the moment you should focus on your Dad and being their for him. If this guy contacts you then be honest with him. Tell him what is happening and why you won't be around for a while. I understand that you don't want to scare him away. But if he is a decent guy he will see you are having a very difficult time. It is only new with him so just explain that you are in London because your Dad has took very ill and that you will contact him once you return or if you want to keep in contact with him when in London then do. Just be honest with him honey that is all you can do. No point hiding things from him if you like him enough to date him.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 May 2017):
 Firstly, I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing something like this at such a young age.
If you like this guy and can see potential in something happening between yourselves then I think it would make sense to let him know of the situation and that you're very occupied at the moment. If he's genuine, I'm sure he will be fine with that and be able to wait as is necessary.
Best wishes to you and your dad
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A
male
reader, Phil052 +, writes (5 May 2017):
 I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. It's such a good thing that you have moved back to be close to him in his final days. I hope you and your dad spend some precious time together.
As for your date, just be honest and explain the situation to him. He sounds like he is a nice fella, so he should understand that your dad is your number one priority, but it might be possible also to get out for a couple of hours to meet him. It will be difficult for you if you get no break from looking after your dad.
I wish you and your dad all the best over the next few weeks x
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (5 May 2017):
 Honesty is the best policy. If you don't feel able to date him then tell him that too.
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