A
male
age
30-35,
*irdwriter
writes:I've been talking to a girl for the last 4 years on and off and we have been friends. For the last 3 and a half years, we've messaged for something like 2 months on, and 4 months off. Just last August, we started messaging back and forth at least weekly, and last month almost every day. We've met a comic convention, and continuously met up at other conventions (some sheer luck and others planned). Despite how briefly we get to see each other in person, we both connect emotionally and strongly at that. More often than not, whenever I did want to ask her out, she'd be with another boyfriend. As far as I know, she broke up last year with her ex and hasn't dated anyone else.We enjoy a lot of the same things, we've sent an entire conversation of nothing but pictures back and forth to each other (most of them before we fall asleep and us smiling back and forth to each other).She's also moving from her college north of me to a college south of me and I don't know who she is moving in with, but it does make me nervous and mildly defeated as well because she's moving in with is a another dude (she says that he's a "friend," but I am not sure).She's a very shy individual with a bit of anxiety, so "just go and simply ask her out" is out of the question as she would get very nervous... but if I took her out without phrasing it as a "date" the pressure would be off. I can handle that part...... but what I don't know is if she likes me enough or not to go on a date, or if she's just being super nice to me? Perhaps I am horrible at picking up various social cues/body language, but I'm willing to take the risk of rejection if I know she likes me enough.I guess what I am asking is... Does she like me enough to go on a date with me?
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broke up, her ex, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 Having anxiety should not be an excuse not to ask her out. Does she know that you like her? If not then start there. Be honest with her and tell her you like her and see how she responds.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (7 May 2017):
 We don't know her as a person so it would be impossible for us to be able to tell if she likes you, this is why you will HAVE to make the move or else you're never going to find out.
I think you're making excuses by saying you can't ask her out because she has anxiety. How else are you going to know whether she wants to date you or not?
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A
male
reader, birdwriter +, writes (7 May 2017):
birdwriter is verified as being by the original poster of the question Specifically, what more on details can I provide you to make it an easier question to answer?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 May 2017):
We couldn't possibly answer that from the information given.
The only way that you can find out is by doing what you said is out of the question. How is asking her on a date out of the question? Do you not think her previous boyfriends asked her out on a date?
It shows romantic intent and by just asking her out for lunch or something else then she may think it's just a friendly thing and this is where it could get confusing what both your intentions are.
Ask her out. All she can do is say yes or no and that way you have your answer. There's not really much else you can do.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 May 2017):
There's no way for anyone to know that, so ask her out. If you can handle rejection this shouldn't be an issue.
Since there's a pretty good chance she'll say yes, whether or not she's romantically interested, you need to figure out how you'll attempt to steer this perpetual friendship into something more.
Not knowing her it's difficult to make suggestions. But eventually you'll have to make a move since she obviously won't do it.
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