Is he gay and if not, is he dateable?
Q. I know a good looking, cultured, intelligent, highly educated, employed guy in his 40s. I am very attracted to him. However, he is kind of effeminate. He could be a metro. I found out that he lives with another guy and that they have lived ...
A. 2 June 2011: lol there's really no way of knowing unless you come right out and ask. him having been married twenty years ago definitely doesn't make him straight. in fact, there's probably currently lots of people who are still married and secretly gay. just ... (read in full...)
He told me he's missing my company. What does that mean?
Q. Hey, what does it mean if a guy says "I'm missing your company"? My bf of 7 months has been away on a stag weekend (his friend is the stag) for 2 days now, and he sent me a text to say goodnight and that he is missing my company...what does that ...
A. 31 May 2011: yeah, you're definitely misinterpreting him. lol. he's trying to be sweet and let you know that while he's gone, he misses being with you. it's a good thing.... (read in full...)
My wife admitted to cheating, but she can't bring herself to end it with them!
Q. My wife and I had a loving marriage 8 years back. I love her very much. She is a very sexy lady and she has had a large number of admirers because of this. Now she is interested in them and sleeping with them when I am not around. When I caught her, ...
A. 31 May 2011: ha. pass the time. i'd tell her she can pass the time while hitch hiking the hell outta my home.... (read in full...)
I cheated on my long term boyfriend, but I don't feel guilty at all!
Q. well... i've been in a relationship for almost 5 years, and so far, it's been ok... Lately we've been fighting a lot, mostly beacuse, even though we've been together for a really long time, he doesn't trust me. Sometimes it seems like he's the on...
A. 31 May 2011: well obviously he's spot on for not trusting you. a smart move on his part. he obviously saw something in you that was bothering him, and turns out he was right. his girlfriend is a cheater.
and it's not total BS to say he trusts you but not othe... (read in full...)
Is he just trying to keep in my good books?
Q. Hey everyone, ive been talking to this guy since september last year and we have never met, we met on the site plenty of fish. Anyway ive always wanted to meet him but hes always busy saying working or hes a big football fan so going to football all ...
A. 31 May 2011: he really means it or he wouldn't have taken the time to tell you that. honestly, he's probably feeling extremely insecure to meet you. after you've been in touch for the better half of a year, he's developed strong feelings and attachments to you. ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this break up??
Q. how do i get over this break up?? my boyfriend of 7 months broke up wit me 2 weeks ago and i dont feel like its gettin any easier.. we have been friends for 4 yrs and he was chasin me for them yrs.. i didn give in because i was afraid of gettin h...
A. 31 May 2011: it's hard because the asshole won't give you any honest answers. which is crap. you do deserve an explanation. and he needs to give you one. it's difficult to move on without one. it's just that final closure that helps us to move in the right ... (read in full...)
A choice between two people!
Q. Hi! I have sort of a dilemma, and was hoping I could get some advice.. I have been dating with person x for a period of 2 years now. It has been a very rocky relationship with lots of break-ups and problems the main being that he lives with his...
A. 31 May 2011: well it's simple: you follow your heart. but if i were your boyfriend and you were having to think about who you wanted to be with, i'd make the decision really easy for you. i'd leave you before you had to make the final choice. because that's ... (read in full...)
When or if do I give up and walk away?
Q. Dear All, Here's my problem - hoping for some views: I'm gay, 30, and I met a guy (also 30) online about 18 months ago, he's from the USA and I'm English. We were just friends though we got on great and sometimes talked on im for hours...
A. 31 May 2011: it's that time to walk away. it seems clear to me he's not interested. if he were, he wouldn't take five days to respond. when you care for someone, you make time for them. i would let this go and move on. because he already has. ... (read in full...)
Girl I am seeing is very moody and never makes an attempt to control her moods!
Q. The girl I am seeing and I got into big fight the other day. She is very moody and when she is in a bad mood she makes no attempt to cover it up. So if she is sad or excited or angry or impatient...she lets it all out! Needless to say it makes ...
A. 30 May 2011: to me, there's a time and a place for everything. personally, i would be mortified if i were with someone and they blurted out their feelings in the middle of the grocery store or while out to dinner. but i'm a very laid-back, keep-to-myself kind of ... (read in full...)
Wife in Girl's weekend . Do they have to call their husbands?
Q. My wife spent the weekend with her friends, she just called me on Saturday night for one minute saying that your cellphone was working in the area and she was using her regular cell phone.Sunday she didn't call me at all( she could find a to place ...
A. 30 May 2011: me being me, i would want to call here and there just to say hi and i love you. other than that, i'd probably just leave my phone alone. but since there's a history of cheating during these weekends... honestly i don't blame you for being weary. ... (read in full...)
The guy I dated briefly said that I scared him with my questions!!
Q. I dated this great guy for a month. He said on the third date that he like me very much, we also had such a great time togheter, lots of laugh,and a great chemistry. We were also very attracted to eachoter, even though we didnt have sex (he said it ...
A. 30 May 2011: without knowing exactly what questions you asked him, it's impossible to give good feedback. but my guess is that you probably asked questions about the relationship and quite possible probed a bit too much, or expressed feelings too quickly. ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone says 'I need to work on myself first'??
Q. What does it mean when someone says 'I need to work on myself first'? I can't think of what this means at all and how they do that..........
A. 30 May 2011: most likely in relation to the fact that they believe they have issues within themselves that they need to fix first before they can give themselves fully in a relationship. but really, what this means in actuality? they aren't interested. it's... (read in full...)
My bf is getting too rough in bed. What does it mean and what do I do about it?
Q. Me and my bf have always been rough in bed. I do anal and gag and stuff and we both like it. But these past few months it has got a little weird. He hurts me. He shoves his member down my throat and it is agonising. When i climax he covers my mouth ...
A. 28 May 2011: this may very well be your boyfriend, you just didn't know it. he may just now be getting more comfortable with you to act out on these sexual fantasies. either that, or he's discovering for the first time how much he enjoys rough sex like this, and ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend punched me in testicles, so I punched her in the hip. Now for some reason, she won't talk to me. What do I do?
Q. I need your help. I'm 15 and my girlfriend's 14. We're in the same year and basically the other day we were in my house after school just chilling, we were having one of our fun little arguments but then we started toy fighting and I floored her and ...
A. 28 May 2011: well first line of business, just how hard did you hit her when you reacted? i mean, did you flat out sock the hell out of her? or did you just react and kind of hit her, but not too hard? my gut feeling is that you more than likely hit her pretty ... (read in full...)
Needy and controlling girlfriend makes me feel guilty about everything I do!!
Q. I have a very needy and controlling girlfriend who makes me feel guilty about everything I do. The thing is she does it with her voice, tone, and physical body language in the way she reacts to things I do. She then gets silent if I just ignore her ...
A. 28 May 2011: doesn't really sound so much to me that she's had a tough upbringing, so much as that her rich parents just didn't spoil the crap out of her. which to me, is a good thing. it doesn't sound like a reason why she'd turn out being such a brat.
she's... (read in full...)
I broke up with her but she wants me back
Q. Last wensday, my girlfriend and I broke up. I'm the one who ended it. I'm 18 years old going into college for computer science Right now she is begging me to come back, I really still do have feelings for her, but I can't go back because my paren...
A. 28 May 2011: well first line of business, this girl didn't mentally abuse you. forgetting your birthday and wanting you to skip your friends grad party to go to her commencement is not remotely close to being mentally abused. i'm sure she just wanted you to be ... (read in full...)
Little blood in urine - please help!
Q. I'm 19. Today, I went down on my girlfriend and licked her vagina a little bit. I also rubbed my fingers outside of her vagina. Everything was alright. I didn't put any of my finger inside of her. And we didn't have sex. Then she got home and told...
A. 27 May 2011: well if she had a tampon in she obviously must be on her period. could the blood in her urine not have been from that? either way, it's clearly not from anything you did while messing around. if it's not from her period, she should see a doctor.... (read in full...)
Should I invite this old crush home when my parents are away, even though I have a boyfriend?
Q. Hello everyone, well here is my story.I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4.5 years. We love eachother so much and I am grateful of our relationship. We go out with our friends once in a blue moon but would rather stay home, cuddle and chill ...
A. 27 May 2011: no. no, no, no, no. lol. and no again. don't you even think about thinking about doing this. if you love your boyfriend like you claim, you will NOT see this guy and lie to him about it. i know what it's like to enjoy the flattery and attention of ... (read in full...)
The girl my cousin is dating likes me! What do I do??
Q. Today I found out my cousin's fling likes me and my cousin is really depressed and I want to talk to her about it, but I don't know how. I feel really bad because my girlfriend told me she liked me but I thought she was being paranoid. I also want ...
A. 27 May 2011: oh lesbian drama. i feel ya girl. haha. it's simple. your cousin is family, and family always comes first. let this girl know that you won't allow anything like that to come between you and your cousin. also, you have a girlfriend, as well. and if i ... (read in full...)
Why did my friend go ballistic on me after we slept together and I asked if we could more than friends?
Q. I slept with my very close friend of 7 years, and wondered if it was a start point to go further. I got the courage to ask and was expecting a sad no, hoping for an excited yes. I wasn't expecting the complete embarrassing rejection that i...
A. 27 May 2011: she's probably upset and confused and accidentally took it out on you. upset because you're important to her as a friend, and she's scared that by sleeping with you, it may have ruined everything. if you two have been good friends for seven years ... (read in full...)
My conservative wife wears low-cut tops that show her bra?
Q. OK, this is going to sound odd, because I certainly find it odd. My wife is in her 40s. She has always been very decorous. Serious professional, dedicated mother, married for 20+ years. A virgin when we got together. Very conservative sex...
A. 27 May 2011: honestly, as long as she's not prancing around for other men, and she's not harming anyone, does her reasoning for doing it really matter? maybe it just makes her feel sexy and attactive for her own benefit. which is great for her self-esteem. ... (read in full...)
Should I believe him when he says he loves me?
Q. I really believe my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore. We have been together almost three years, have a child together, and I am about two seconds away from walking out the door. We are at our last straw with couseling and because he picked a sex ...
A. 27 May 2011: he probably does love you. as you love him, despite all of the problems you two are having. when relationships get to this breaking point, sometimes people don't know what to say or do anymore. they're at a complete loss and just kind of freeze and ... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm psycho, how do I let go?
Q. My ex and I met 2 years ago through a mutual friend. We ended up becoming really good friends who had similar wants and desires out of life as well as a relationship so it was pretty natural when our friendship turned into more. We would talk all ...
A. 27 May 2011: you haven't done anything wrong. not by a long shot. he's in the wrong by being completely unreasonable as to what it takes to keep an adult relationship alive. you said it yourself by mentioning that it's inevitable to have a disagreement, and the ... (read in full...)
Should I Sue Her?
Q. Okay here is my previous post and question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-if-she-is-genuine-and-it-is.html My girlfriend and I have broken up now.I have spent more than 20k on her in the past 8 months. I bought her various gifts fr...
A. 27 May 2011: well, this woman sounds like a professional con artist. unfortunately, it doesn't sound like she did anything illegal. everything you did for her, you did out of the good grace of your heart, assuming she loved you and just wanted to be with you. ... (read in full...)
Could there be any tips or advice on how to get over my guy making out with a girl last summer on top of a dumpster?
Q. So I am finally with the man of my dreams... We have had our ups and downs... good times and bad times.. and yet, we always managed to work things out, through communication, open mind and trust for one another. He's the first man in my life that I ...
A. 26 May 2011: my advice would be this: it was on top of a dumpster.
i wouldn't be too jealous.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend "needs her space" and doesn't know if she wants to be with me or not.
Q. Hi so my girlfriend and I have been together for a year now and she does not know if she wants to be my girlfriend at the moment. She says she needs her space and she is in school as well which stresses her out completely. Well about a month ago we ...
A. 26 May 2011: there's really nothing you can do at this point except to just decide whether you're willing to give her her space and see if she comes back to you, or just go ahead and leave the relationship yourself. but the worst thing you can do at this point ... (read in full...)
My GF thinks I cheat on her and is subjecting me to immense physical and mental abuse!
Q. hey guys n girls, longer story....help me.... im sorry if im not typing correctly to be honest im so depressed and sad. ok 3 yrs ago me and my gf got into a very big fight and she smacked me in my face then later she hit me with a bottle. I left h...
A. 26 May 2011: wow. so this girl is nuttier than squirrel turds, man. you need to get the hell away from her. nobody has any right to damage your property for any reason. you should have had her crazy ass thrown in jail for that. afterall, you were mourning the ... (read in full...)
Can a woman give herself completely to a new love, despite having had many lovers in her past?
Q. I am 31 years old and dating this girl (27 3rd year surgical residency) which I absolutely love we are both very sexual beings. The problem is that we have different views on sexuality, even though she says that we don't. I have only had one sexual ...
A. 26 May 2011: what in the world makes you feel so high and mighty that you can have had sex with your ex, but she wasn't allowed to do the same? you admit that you've been with someone before her, so she's not your one and only either. seems like a double ... (read in full...)
Married woman's marriage in trouble. Can I be there to pick up the pieces?
Q. Hey guys. First time here. Hoping you can help. I have feelings for a woman who is married. She is going through some hard times in her marriage right now and seems to be struggling about whether to stay with her husband. We have been having ...
A. 26 May 2011: back off and leave her be. women very rarely will leave their husbands for another man. you'll more than likely get hurt. she has a moral as well as legal obligation to her husband. if she took 100% of her effort and invested it in rejuvinating her ... (read in full...)
Partner gave too much information!
Q. My partner has admitted in very graphic detail a 3some he had in his past. This plays on my mind a lot. How do I get over what I know? ...
A. 26 May 2011: i've had ex's that have given graphic details of past sexual experiences, as well, and it did bother me. we know that they've had sex before us, more than likely, but when we hear the graphic details, it can often become too much, as we get mental ... (read in full...)
He's a lovely guy but his clothes are not stylish and he smokes. What do I do?
Q. Ok, i feel quite bad asking this because its all common sense but we all have preferences. I met this guy last weekend, I wasnt even meant to be going out, I was just meeting my sister in the pub for a few. Her boyfriend was in there watching t...
A. 26 May 2011: while i understand the smoking thing, as i'm a non smoker and prefer a non smoker myself, his clothes really shouldn't matter that much. some of the best guys i know have absolutely no fashion sense just because they are who they are and they just ... (read in full...)
Can a narcissist and a co-dependent person have a relationship that works?
Q. Hi. I am a co-dependent person. For those who do not know what this is, it is a person who feels the need to please other people in order to get his own validation. I have had treatment for this but still ahve strong codependent tendencies. Last...
A. 26 May 2011: can two emotionally unhealthy people make a healthy relationship work? well. that's a new and interesting philosophy. but no. while two negatives do equal a positive in mathematics, not in love. you say you're seeking counseling but still are co... (read in full...)
I get so frustrated about my bf's habit of walking away from our arguments!
Q. Is it a bad thing to walk away from a fight? Or an argument? Instead of staying around and sort things out? My boyfriend and I ended up in an argument, where his final response was that he couldn't say anything right because it seems I get hurt...
A. 25 May 2011: everyone handles things differently. in my case, i do the same thing as your boyfriend. it's not meant to be offensive. in fact, it's a learned reaction. i've personally learned that if i try to talk out my frustrations while i'm still angry, i will ... (read in full...)
Is it wise to give a girl the cold shoulder to see if she likes you at all?
Q. There's this girl at work that I really like (but I can't ask her out cause she holds a higher position than me *this is retail* it would only work if she asked me out.)I'm getting mixed signals from her, some days she's really into me and others ...
A. 25 May 2011: yes, that probably would be a good way to find out how she really feels. it's not ideal, but sometimes that's the best way to truly test her feelings. she'll be upset by your change of attitude if she really likes you. and you should be able to tell ... (read in full...)
Found naked pics of a guy on my wife's camera. I'm not sure how to handle this...
Q. My wife and I are married 4 years this summer. Everything seems to be great, my problem is something from the past. I just bought my wife a new laptop and digital camera last Christmas. Her old camera she had when we met and was about 5 or 6 yea...
A. 24 May 2011: i would take the pics with you so you have them as evidence, and tell her exactly what you were doing when you found them, so that she can't try and turn it around on you for snooping in her personal belongings. then as calmly as possible ask her if ... (read in full...)
Found naked pics of a guy on my wife's camera. I'm not sure how to handle this...
Q. My wife and I are married 4 years this summer. Everything seems to be great, my problem is something from the past. I just bought my wife a new laptop and digital camera last Christmas. Her old camera she had when we met and was about 5 or 6 yea...
A. 24 May 2011: i would take the pics with you so you have them as evidence, and tell her exactly what you were doing when you found them, so that she can't try and turn it around on you for snooping in her personal belongings. then as calmly as possible ask her if ... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair. Not sure I want to. How do I get my will power back?
Q. Two weeks ago, my neighbour kissed me. We have been texting and meeting up secretly. I feel horrible...my conscience is killing me....yet I feel completely helpless. How do I get my will power back? I know this isn't good for anyone... and no...
A. 24 May 2011: i believe everything happens for a reason, and his leaving is a sign. take this space away from him and use that to work on getting over him. i believe it was meant to be that way.... (read in full...)
What constitutes a pedophile?
Q. Is a person considered a pedophile if they just have sexual thoughts about children and teenagers much younger than them? Or do they actually have to sleep with a minor to be a pedophile?...
A. 24 May 2011: it usually starts out as thoughts that eventually will transcend into the acting out of those thoughts. it starts somewhere. but you're not labeled a pedophile until you physically act out on it.... (read in full...)
I feel I had an unnecessary abortion, how do I stop crying over this??
Q. Im an emotional wreck after having a termination 3 months ago. My boyfriend and i planned the pregnancy and he promised me he would step upto the mark, move into my place and that we would get married as soon as i got pregnant. I had no reason to...
A. 23 May 2011: i'm so sorry this happened to you. that's truly a heart-breaking situation. i genuinely hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you leave this guy. because he left you all alone at your most vulnerable state. being scared and expressing hesitations ... (read in full...)
Would most girls be ok with their boyfriend going to strip clubs?
Q. hey, i'm 20 and ive been with my boyfriend for 2 an a half years. he is going to bournmouth uni in september and i'm worried about him going to strip clubs. he has never been to one before. Would most girlfriends be ok with their boyfriends going...
A. 22 May 2011: nah, i wouldn't worry too much about it. i wouldn't be thrilled with it, don't get me wrong, but i wouldn't be too upset. only if he began frequenting strip clubs would i then begin to have a problem.... (read in full...)
I had sex with my ex-bf and am now confused as to what he wants.
Q. Me and my ex boyfriend have been dating for a year and we recently broke up for good and I still love him. We broke up because we were both stressing about things and decided to take a break. The reason we never got back together is because ...
A. 21 May 2011: in all honesty, sounds like this relationship has a lot of issues. why was he under the assumption you messed around with his friend? and why then, would that prompt him to be such a guy, who would hook up with your friend, just to hurt you? no... (read in full...)
Is he gay and if not, is he dateable?
Q. I know a good looking, cultured, intelligent, highly educated, employed guy in his 40s. I am very attracted to him. However, he is kind of effeminate. He could be a metro. I found out that he lives with another guy and that they have lived ...
A. 26 April 2011: it's possible. but i'm willing to bet my left arm still that he's gay. ... (read in full...)
Is he gay and if not, is he dateable?
Q. I know a good looking, cultured, intelligent, highly educated, employed guy in his 40s. I am very attracted to him. However, he is kind of effeminate. He could be a metro. I found out that he lives with another guy and that they have lived ...
A. 24 April 2011: this guy has GOT to be gay. and to answer your two questions: 1. was he hinting at being gay since he's in a similar situation? YES. haha. 2. if you weren't gay, would you let your colleagues continue to think you were? most definitely not. i... (read in full...)
Is he gay and if not, is he dateable?
Q. I know a good looking, cultured, intelligent, highly educated, employed guy in his 40s. I am very attracted to him. However, he is kind of effeminate. He could be a metro. I found out that he lives with another guy and that they have lived ...
A. 22 April 2011: who cares if he hasn't lived on his own? he sounds gay though, but that's just my opinion. i mean, just how effeminate are we talking? yes some men are metro. but there's a fine line between metro and just flat out gay. if he's super effeminate... (read in full...)
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