A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There's this girl at work that I really like (but I can't ask her out cause she holds a higher position than me *this is retail* it would only work if she asked me out.)I'm getting mixed signals from her, some days she's really into me and others she talks to me but theres nothing there. This has been going on for a few months now and I'm getting pretty tired of it.I always tease her real bad, make fun of her but she always laughs at it and has a smile on her face. So I want to know if she really likes me or not, this is a bit childish but do you think changing my attitude towards her may have an effect. I was thinking of losing the playful attitude and treating her like a real manager. Then, if she really liked me she might act on this and if she didn't, then I'd know and I could move on. I know this is really childish but hey I'm a guy and this girl is killing me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): Dont give her the cold shoulder. women don't appreciate game playing and that's what it is. you changing your personality towards her, by being cold when she did nothing on you is game playing, to get a reaction. so dont do it, its a sign of somebody unstable.Instead talk to her alone,be mature about it. Tell her you have feelings for her, but that you understand things might be difficult because she is your manager. At that stage the ball is in her court, she will respect you more if you are honest. she may let you down gently if so just put it behind you and move on.Good Luck.x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): "Then, if she really liked me she might act on this and if she didn't, then I'd know and I could move on."or she might think you don't like her even if she did like you, and then she moves on. how can you be sure that she will magically know what your agenda is? she may just think you're weird and emotionally unstable if you suddenly change behavior for no reason that she can discernand actually you should not even try to date her because she's your manager. Most workplaces have regulations against this and you could both lose your jobs. if you do want to date her, then you should quit your job first. And then just be direct and ask her out instead of playing mind games.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): Most people do not appreciate excessive teasing so ease up on that. She may laugh it off to save face, or to avoid unwittingly encouraging you (some folks like getting a rise out of others which is why people will pretend it doesn't bother them).
Do not play hard to get or hot and cold. Women assume (sometimes mistakenly) that men will be direct and confident in expressing interest in them. If you act as though you're not interested, that is what she'll believe.
Start with cutting back on the teasing and just have conversations. See how she responds to that.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (25 May 2011):
 yes, that probably would be a good way to find out how she really feels. it's not ideal, but sometimes that's the best way to truly test her feelings. she'll be upset by your change of attitude if she really likes you. and you should be able to tell by her actions. i say go for it.
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A
female
reader, LoveJuliette +, writes (25 May 2011):
Um to the tittle "Give a girl the cold shoulder to see if she likes you" Not only no but HELL NO.
As far as this chick goes if you SERIOUSLY want this girl, STOP thinking about it from a work stand point of "shes higher up" Yeah No any CLASSY girl isnt going to ask and any classy man isnt going to wait for her to ask. So step up and ask her, not at work though if its possible your biggest challenge is going to be keeping your work and personal life sepparate but it is imparitive that you do if you want it to work
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