A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Two weeks ago, my neighbour kissed me. We have been texting and meeting up secretly. I feel horrible...my conscience is killing me....yet I feel completely helpless. How do I get my will power back? I know this isn't good for anyone... and not least, me. It's too much drama and worry (we are both married, yes, I know, I'm horrible) and the cherry on top is he leaves in 2 months and won't be back except for every 6-8 weeks or so. In one way this will be a relief, but in another I'm already sad about it.I'd appreciate if there were only helpful, yet kind comments. I am very aware of how awful this is and don't need any one else beating me up. I'm doing a bang up job of it myself.
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male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (25 May 2011):
Darling
it would be such misreable painfull path to go through
i've been through an emotional affair once and it is such a pain to be in one
if you continued and followed your heart it is going to be worse
i say some professional help would help a good and an honest spouse like you to avoid you from being what you dont realy want to be
secondly try to travel abroad with your husband,have fun get your self involved with work and friends and erase all of his e-mails and texts this way you can get over your this affair eventually
finally if there werent some issues in your marriage you wouldng have been into this
and i highly recomend to fix these things to avoid any unwated surprises in the future
Good Luck
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Actually you are being given the perfect chance to end the affair and move on. Yes it will hurt and you will feel sad but since he's leaving anyhow, it was probably just a foolish thing he took a risk on, knowing it wouldn't last. How can it? He won't even be around. That's when you wipe the slate clean and vow not to let yourself get into a situation like this again. By the time he returns home again permanently, his devotions will be to his family not you. It's best for you to pull the plug on your terms first. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 i believe everything happens for a reason, and his leaving is a sign. take this space away from him and use that to work on getting over him. i believe it was meant to be that way.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 May 2011):
 There is only two ways out of this for you.
One is aided by his leaving. You must cut it off. Go cold turkey. You are addicted to him like a heroin addict is addicted to the drugs.
The second way has a much better chance of success, but it is the much harder choice for you. If you can't cut off the relationship with this other guy, you must tell your husband about it. Expose it. Usually the lovey dovey addiction shrivels when exposed to the sunlight. Trust me, eventually it will get exposed anyway unless you stop now forever.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 May 2011):
Why are you risking your marriage for some guy?
Why are you having an affair?
Those are the two questions that you need to answer. What has driven you two the point where you are willing to risk everything for nothing?
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