A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi so my girlfriend and I have been together for a year now and she does not know if she wants to be my girlfriend at the moment. She says she needs her space and she is in school as well which stresses her out completely. Well about a month ago we started fighting about communication because whenever I would try and talk to her about how I would feel she would run away or make fun of me saying I was too needy. She also thinks I am jealous which I might have some tendencies but they are not extreme. Very minimal and just arose because I am starting to feel insecure in us. I don't know what to do she says she loves me but how does she not know what she wants? And wont let me talk to her about anything.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011): Hi,
Yes she has always been stressed out by school and I have dealt with her being stressed out to the max frequently. But until now it has not severally affected our relationship. I tried to get her to give me a time line but she couldn't because she said she likes where she is at right now. Does not bother to take into effect how it effects me so I am going-to come up with some sort of a decision for her I guess.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (26 May 2011):
 there's really nothing you can do at this point except to just decide whether you're willing to give her her space and see if she comes back to you, or just go ahead and leave the relationship yourself. but the worst thing you can do at this point is to invade her space after she's asked for it, no matter how much it's killing you. and believe me, i know it is.when someone asks you for space or a break, it's so hard not to just run up to them and beg for reasons why and ask what's going on. and to some extent, i believe it's very selfish to ask someone for a break, as it puts the other person through hell in the meantime.do yourself a favor. decide if this girl is worth it to you to wait around for. if she is, then let her know your feelings. send her an email or facebook message, as not to invade her space, letting her know you respect her desire for some time to sort her feelings out. but that you just wanted her to know that you love her very much and hope that you eventually can work through this together. if you don't feel as though she's being fair to you and that you're unwilling to put yourself through the waiting game for her, let her know that you're finished with the relationship and not to bother taking time to figure things out, as there is nothing left to figure out, since you've made your own decision to move on.i really hate to say this, but i'm going to be brutally honest with you. in my experience, when somebody has asked me for a break/space, it meant only one thing: the person was not into the relationship anymore and/or was seeing someone else. i'm not saying this is the case for your particular situation, but that's always how mine played out. consider this though. if someone is happy and content in the relationship, what reason would they have for taking a break? they obviously feel something is very wrong.i truly hope everything works out for the best in the end. good luck to you. stay strong.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (26 May 2011):
Well it doesn't sound like it's going to last if I'm honest. This could be her distancing herself from the relationship in preparation for it's inevitable end. It doesn't sound like she is willing to talk about it either.I don't think it would make much of a difference at this point but when did she start school? Has there been some reason for any added stress there? Or has she always found it stressful but is only now bringing that in to the relationship?If I were you I'd ask her for a direct answer about what she wants. Ask her does she want to continue with this relationship or not. Tell her if you don't get a direct answer by a certain time you're going to consider the relationship ended.If claims she wants to continue but doesn't change and still won't talk about it then I'd leave her as she's stringing you along and it's preventing you from finding a relationship you would be happier in while she sits around making up her mind.
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