A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear All,Here's my problem - hoping for some views:I'm gay, 30, and I met a guy (also 30) online about 18 months ago, he's from the USA and I'm English. We were just friends though we got on great and sometimes talked on im for hours late into the night. We lost touch when we both had relationships with other people, but then got back in touch, and he was visiting Germany for work, so I flew out there and we met. In person, we also got on great, there were sparks as soon as we saw each other and for four days we were completely inseparable - obviously it was sexual too.This was 3 months ago, and I'm confused and quite sad, because though he has e-mailed me a few times and at first he seemed really keen, wanted to come back as soon as possible and said he missed me, he won't call me or talk to me on skype or IM since we got back, and he doesn't reply to my texts either. When I ask him why he's kept in touch so little, he just says he's 'been busy', which doesn't really ring true after 3 months especially when he is always making posts online about what he's doing in his free time! BUT when I ask him in a friendly way to just tell me if he feels this isn't for him or he doesn't want to talk to me, he ignores the email as if I had said nothing and just talks about something else!!He does email, just very infrequently, I will wait 5 days for a reply. I have now just not replied to his last message because I'm so confused. I also feel quite angry and insulted that he won't answer my question.Perhaps someone else has some understanding of this situation? I know for definite he doesn't live with anyone else and I thought he liked me. I don't want to end up sounding crazy but I'm wondering just when or if to give up and walk away...
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (31 May 2011):
 I would've walked away already to be honest. He's obviously avoiding answering the question and not being honest with you.
Sounds to me like he might well be enjoying playing the field maybe? Or perhaps he really is too busy for a relationship?
Funny how once he got what he wanted he doesn't seem all that interested now?
I would've walked away already but maybe you can try one last go? Perhaps empathise with him and say you understand it's a long distance thing and if it were just a one off that's cool... If he wants to play the field thats ok but perhaps we can still be friends?
See what he says back?
I have a feeling he's not really interested - hard to hear I know. To be certain just ask him to be honest and tell you how he feels?
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (31 May 2011):
 it's that time to walk away. it seems clear to me he's not interested. if he were, he wouldn't take five days to respond. when you care for someone, you make time for them. i would let this go and move on. because he already has.
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A
female
reader, kylieekristina +, writes (31 May 2011):
 How do you know for a fact he doesn't live with anyone else if you two met up in Germany?
I have a couple of guesses and they vary due to lack of information, and please don't be offended at my first guess. Maybe you came on to strong too fast and scared him. It sounds like the two of you connected and had a lot of hope for future fun and possibly even love. Did you push a little too fast and too hard? Only you or him can answer that.
I have a friend that was constantly "stalking" my facebook page, so much to that he would remember my plans I had made before I would. It freaked me out and I barely answer his calls now, although he was a total sweetheart. And all we were were friends, I would have really freaked if it were sexual.
Maybe you didn't come on too strong and he is a commit phobe? Or could he have met someone that lives much closer? just because he lives alone doesn't mean he doesn't have company over often.
It sounds like you are getting the brush off, and to answer your question, I would move on. There are plenty of people that would love the attention and love that you have to give. It doesn't seem like he appreciates it from you, nor does he deserve it by his actions.
You deserve to be loved and treated just as well as you are loving and giving. Find someone else sweets.
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