A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm so hurt right now. Im new here and was looking for some advice and someone to make me feel a little better too. Well ok so I was ''talking'' to this guy for about 3 months we wasn't serious but I like him so much. Well today I learned he took an ex back and he didn't even tell me I found out off of Facebook. He hasn't spoken to me all day long today when we speak to each other on a daily basis. I still want to be his friend I care for this person so much I don't want to lose him altogether. Id really like to tell him about how I'm feeling but I'm afraid he won't care about my feelings. Idk how to feel right now :(
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Why do you want to stay friends? Please answer that question honestly.
My bet is that you want to stay friends in case it doesnt work out with the ex he is now with, so when they break up you can get him back. And if that is what you are trying to do, then this really isnt going to work.
Look, he has made his choice - he doesnt want a relationship with you, he wants to be with his ex. You need to accept this and move on, there is no point in hanging around waiting for him in case the relationship ends.
You are only going to leave yourself in limbo if you are staying friends with him, you will still have feelings for him and these wont go away if you are still friends.
The best thing you can do is accept he doesnt want to talk to you anymore, accept he doesnt want to be with you and he has a girlfriend. Delete his number, delete him from Facebook etc and move on.
I hope this helps and good luck1
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): I'm sorry you feel so hurt right now...
Welcome to this site, you will find lots of wise Aunts and Uncles who will show you we care.
It sounds like you may have feelings of more than friendship for this guy. You say you were "talking" for 3 months, what did you talk about? You said it wasn't serious, but YOU like him. Did you know how he felt?
He seems to have moved on, and is back with an ex. If you spoke daily he probably would have told you what was happening, but maybe it was all so hectic and exciting he never got a chance. It is quite cruel for you to find out like that (Facebook) when you have deeper feelings, but he probably didn't feel he owed you an explanation if you were just "talking" and nothing serious was going on. Did you talk about general topics, or feelings? i.e. was there a romance/potential romance, or just friends/platonic?
If he saw it only as friendship, now that he is back with his ex, that is consuming his time and energy. I'm sure he will return if it was only friends, and will update you. However, you needed to share how you felt, because he may have no idea you are hurt (again, depending on what you spoke about the 3 months)
You may not lose him altogether, if you play your cards right. That is, if he sees it only as friendship, you have the option to remain his friend and know about him and be in his life for friendship, or you must move on if you can't handle being his friend only, as he has chosen someone else.
I think fill us in a little more on exactly what went on the 3 months, and we can guide you better...
In the meantime, please don't feel like it's the end of the world. Give it time and I'm sure you will get more clarity. Don't send him lots of messages and texts asking what is going on. Be patient, wait for him to update you of what is going on. Or tell him what you saw on Facebook, and for him to explain. Then take it from there. Share how you feel, he may not know. Sometimes hints don't work, you have to share your thoughts and feelings.
Keep sharing with us, so you don't feel alone.
Best Wishes,
xxxx E
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