A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend from two years ago used to be my best friend. All through my last relationship with someone else he was always there for me, we were inseperable and he was my best friend. After me and my last ex boyfriend broke up, me and the boyfriend from two years ago started getting closer and closer and eventually we slept together. He said that we'd still remain friends and that it wouldn't change anything. Now he won't talk to me and it's been like this for months. When we see each other at school he makes a concious effort not to talk to me or even look at me, he never makes eye contact. I don't know why he won't talk to me, but I miss him and I feel like he maybe used me for sex. I'm not sure, but I'm not sure what to do about it. He's going to university soon so I'm scared he'll leave and we'll never talk again. I've tried talking to him, but he doesn't make an effort or seem interested. I recently found out that he's written songs about me (he's in a successful but local band) and they're so heartfelt, and they were about when I was going out with a different person and we were still best friends. I've lost my best friend, but I still love him as more than that - I really need help!
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 February 2012):
 It sounds like he was very hurt you went out with someone else (hence the songs) and perhaps he slept with you out of revenge, to get back at you for hurting him. So that could explain why all of this has happened.
However it does seem very clear one way or another he used you for sex, and now isnt interested in maintaining the friendship. I think you need to give it one last shot at talking to him - be completely honest and tell him you feel used and he needs to explain why he is not talking to you anymore. Tell him you still value his friendship and dont want this to be the end of it.
If he still doesnt open up and doesnt give you any answers well that in itself is an answer - he doesnt want to be friends and that is it.
Hopefully he will explain what is going on, but I wouldnt get your hopes up, it sounds like he used you, got what he wanted and now wants nothing more to do with you. Be prepared to move on and forget all about him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): If he's your best friend and bf, then you should talk to him. that's the only way you'll ever find out why he's behaving like this. Well he may not tell the truth if you ask him, but that's the best chance you have to find out why.
my guess is that he either doesn't want to be with you anymore (like maybe he found someone new), or he's mad at you for something and deliberately giving you the silent treatment to punish you (which is a horrible way to behave to people, it's passive aggressive).
you can either approach him and ask why he's behaving like this, or you can just write him off and decide that you're no longer friends anymore because for whatever reason he decided to end the friendship and didn't have the courtesy to say why.
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