A
male
age
41-50,
*osephl44
writes:I'm so confused right know I've been sorta dating this girl now for almost four years now and I am madly in love with her but she also has a boyfriend of three years. And she was always sleeping around with other guys and then lieing to me about it even though I've walked in and caught her and I keep leaving her and taking her back every time she crys and now she has a baby by her boyfriend and now she's pregnant again and we believe this one may be mine and she keeps telling me that she loves me and want to be with me but she would never leave her boy friend and now all of a sudden she changed her mind and wants to get a place with me how can I tell if she is accually telling me the truth that she does love me and wants to be together or if she's just lieing to me again
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 She's not lying, in the sense that she wants you. Now, being with her is a bad idea. Find out if the baby is yours, and forget about the rest.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 March 2012):
 Look at her action for a minute, does that seem like she REALLY wants to be with you and just you? No.
Stop trusting her words, they are after all just words. She will say whatever she thinks you want to hear and well so far that has worked for her, hasn't it?
I would dump her in a heartbeat and find a REAL decent girl, this is NOT a keeper. Not girlfriend material, maybe "f"wb material. And I put the F in "" because she doesn't seem like a friend either.
But hey, if you want to date the town bicycle and share her with whomever she wants to have sex with, go for it....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 March 2012):
 Run Forest RUN!
honey she's a cheat and a liar
You don't trust her....
end it now with some dignity and find a decent girl.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 Look - she has NEVER been yours, she has a boyfriend and you are just her bit on the side. She is cheating on her boyfriend with you, you are one part of an affair, NOT a relationship. So you have never left her or taken her back, because she is not yours to have in the first place. She is another man's girlfriend, and you are just her bit on the side.
She has been cheating on her boyfriend for 4 years, what makes you think she would ever be faithful to you? She clearly has no idea what being faithful is if she sleeps around with many men behind her boyfriend's back. She will always cheat, and she will always lie - she is just going to hurt you time and time again.
You now need to be strong - you have been part of this awful mess for far too long and it needs to stop. There are children involved now, and it is not fair on either of her 2 kids to have mummy sleeping around and them never knowing who their real daddy is.
So once the child is born - ask for a paternity test. Because if she has sex with multiple partners, there could be a number of men who could be the father, let alone you.
Until the child is born, have nothing more to do with this woman. She doesnt want you, she doesnt want any one man in fact - she wants to keep using men and having what she wants, which is lots of sex with whoever she wants. She knows she can turn on the waterworks and you will come running back, you are her puppet on a string and she knows just how to play you.
This will never be a happy relationship even if she leaves her boyfriend, because she will cheat again, and the ex (current boyfriend) will still be around because of the child. So you will continue to be hurt, messed around, lied to and destroyed by this woman if you keep on like this.
Time to stop being a doormat. Time to think of these poor kids who need a stable family life, rather than a mum who is out every night having sex with a different man while daddy is at home looking after them. She is not girlfriend material. She is never going to make you happy.
Move on, dont talk to her again until you have to when the child is born. Chances are she will have already told her boyfriend that the child is his though - so you will have a fight on your hands just for her to do that.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2012): I would run a mile, she's playing you,she's definately not girlfriend material..
If she says the baby she is expecting is yours, have a DNA test done after the birth, before you take any responsibility,financial or otherwise.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 March 2012):
 What are you doing???
She's sleeping around everywhere. She's cheating on her current boyfriend with you. She's sleeping with every guy under the sun, and you're actually thinking about moving in with her? She's got way too much baggage, and if I were you, you need to get a DNA test on the baby she has.
There's no "if she is lying". She is lying. That should be the question you know the answer most to.
Stop having sex with her, unless you like cheating with cheaters.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 Clearly this is a bad relationship. She is cheating on you, as well as cheating on her other bf, then she is also sleeping with other guys as well....
Honey, pack your bags and run. In the event the child she is carrying is yours [DNA testing will testify to the paternity], you can help support the child. If the child turns out not to be yours well then move on with your life. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Risingstar624 +, writes (9 March 2012):
Women are pretty easy creatures to understand. Look at her track record. The fact that she has been leading you on for 4 years yet dating another guy tells me that this girl isn't going to be leaving this guy anytime soon. She senses that you are finally drawing a line and she is saying anything to get you to stay with her. I am very good at manipulating myself and unless she goes out and does it, you cannot trust anything that she says. Tell her that if she wants a place with you she has to leave her boyfriend first. If she doesn't do it, she's lying and will just hurt you.
Personally I don't think this girl is worth your time. Human Beings are habitual creatures, if she has a history of cheating on her current boyfriend, whenever you are her boyfriend (if ever) that will not change. She will cheat on you just as she cheats on him. Nobody is worth that. Love is a two way street and it sounds to me like you are infatuated with her, because if she loved you she wouldn't be able to be with anyone but you. Look for someone who is willing to give you the love you deserve, rather than the scraps left from everyone else she is sleeping around with.
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