A
female
age
41-50,
*roud Lady
writes:To be brief, a couple of years after my marriage, I met him 3 years ago. I instantly felt a strange a bonding and we began to talk. Don't make conclusions there! My marriage is happy, I am truthful and, he is now married happily too! I knew I really liked him and admired some of what made him. And I knew that it was possible to like (love?) two men at the same time and wish them well. The bonding happened as we texted a lot to each other when we were in distress.(My husband knows we do get along well.)He always kept his distance with me (hence the trust), I being married, but enjoyed our little discussions. Of late, he got engaged and became aloof. I was unhappy to lose him but never really took it to heart or complained. He claimed to be happy but never really sounded so. We talked less and I got used to it, all the time missing him.A few days ago, I got to know through a common friend that he failed his promotion exams. I know the possible reasons though. He was looking forward to it so much, and to leave for another country. I am upset from then on. Of course, I can't let him know that I know about it. I really long to meet him and talk to him, which I really won't be doing. I am sorry. I wish I were someone of his to help you...
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 The female anonymous is right - he might have been told by his new wife that she was not comfortable with your friendship, hence why he has become more aloof.
You cannot love 2 men at the same time, if you are truly committed to your husband then you would NEVER have feelings for another man.
It is a good thing your friendship has ceased because now you can focus on your marriage and stop this emotional affair you were having. Yes you were not physically cheating, but you were emotionally cheating on your husband with these feelings for the other man.
Your former friend's life is none of your business anymore, he has a wife to feel upset for him now so you need to stop this immediately. Everytime you find yourself thinking about him, stop and think about something you can do to improve your own marriage. If you focus more on your husband you will soon find you forget about this other man.
If any of your common friends speak about him - ask them not to anymore as you are no longer friends with him. You have to stop yourself from hanging on to his memory, so you need to get him out of your life as much as you can.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): Just tell yourself it's nothing personal, he just realizes that now that he's engaged and will be married, his wife has to be his best female friend, not you. Also his wife may not like it if he has another female friend that he's really emotionally close to, she feels territorial over her guy, so he has to respect her wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): Maybe he has ceased contact with you because his partner doesn't feel comfortable with him having that kind of relationship with you. He has to respect his partner and I admire him for doing this.
I think maybe you should focus on your marriage more and build the kind of relationship with your husband that you had with your friend.
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