The question is, what do I do now? What is my next step? How do I start over again? I'm used to seeing my children everyday....Please help!
Q. I am now 30, so is my wife. We’ve been together for 10 years now, married for 7. Our first child was born 7 years ago. We now have 4 children, or at least she does. Since the birth of her 3rd child I had always been unsure if I was the father. I ...
A. 21 December 2008: Dont know what to say really, apart from good luck, and I hope you get some peace in the end hun. You have done real well so far with it all thats for certain.
All the best xxxxxxx... (read in full...)
He is not sure he wants to be involved with someone who has kids. Should I move forward with this anyway?
Q. I am 36 and met a man who is 49. We are both going through divorces and found comfort in each other. We have a lot in common and it is very easy to talk to him. I have told him things that I never told my husband in 18 years of marriage. He is ...
A. 4 September 2008: I would stick with friends. He is probably worried about taking on a couple of teens, which in theory is what he would be doing eventually. He might be thinking best not to even go there to start with. Which is a lot better than getting into ... (read in full...)
Am I pestering her too much? I can't stand giving up!
Q. ok, i don't know if this is a petty question but, a girl i am losing my mind over has been chatting to me on msn and replying to me on texts and emails but she now leaves off the x. i put one in everytime, she started leaving them in emails but now ...
A. 4 September 2008: One way to find out, meet up. If she doesn't want to meet up, theres your answer. Its a bit of a nobrainer really.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
Am I blowing his friendship with this girl all out of proportion?
Q. I need some advice on how to deal with my boyfriend seeing his ex-girlfriend on a regular basis. Some background information.. Me and the boyfriend have been going out for a year. He dated this girl right before me, the girl broke up with hi...
A. 4 September 2008: Well i would say it varies. No break up is the same quite obviously.
But i dont think EVERY ex still has a special place in a persons heart. I mean i have split from someone i still loved at the time before, i dont think i could of dated anyone else... (read in full...)
Research that has shown negative effects of porn-watching? Why aren't we concerned?
Q. why do some people not care about all the research that has shown exposure to porn causes men to find their real life partners less attractive? I personally have experienced this when my husband started to compare me to the women in porn and a cl...
A. 4 September 2008: Because we have all got to be so p.c these days that we cant even complain about porn. Thats my guess anyway.
But i'm not sure if thinking your partner is less attractive than the porn stars is very realistic, i mean, i'm sure its true, but of cour... (read in full...)
Dating both of us in parallel? Why would someone do somthing like this?
Q. I have been seeing someone for about 4 months and recently found out that he has been double dating - seeing me part of the week and the other lady the other part. He has shared the same restaurants, jokes, smooth talking lines and everything. He ...
A. 4 September 2008: Haha @ he didn't want you anyway! No course he didn't! What a bozo! Sounds like you had instincts telling you he was trouble maybe, and you held back a bit. Ive been there before. Just cant quite fall for them can you. I dont know if something ... (read in full...)
Will he change as he gets older and seek a younger chic?
Q. Hi guys I am a lady of 35 and dating a 23 yr old MAN. my friends have a serious problem with this and keep on telling me that he is just going on a ride with me. What they do not know is the fact that I am HAPPY. I was married to a 37 year old ma...
A. 4 September 2008: He probably isn't using you at all, and certainly wont be thinking he will go off with someone else younger in the future. Trouble is, its rare for a guy of 23 to have done all his living by that age. So i wouldn't see it as long term. I was 31 when ... (read in full...)
Are we too fussy sometimes when it comes to meeting a long term partner?
Q. Having read some of the posts on here, I am curious about something. IF you are happily single and open to meeting someone for a long term relationship at some point, Do you have a check list of things you look for in a guy/girl? Have you got a ty...
A. 4 September 2008: I'm similar to you 'ask oldersister'
My children are 13 and 11 now and ive also decided i am going to wait a while and stay celebate, because i also dont fancy someone the first time i meet them, that comes in time after getting to know them, so i... (read in full...)
If I get stronger and decide to move on from my sex-buddy will he surrender to me?
Q. i am havin sex with a man that i really fancy.he knows that i like him a lot. but i am a confident woman and i can move on if i have to. he finds me sexy and says i am a good kisser. (cant be a bad thing). what i want to know is if i get stronger...
A. 4 September 2008: Whats with the game? Why not ask him if you two can go exclusive, because thats what you want now? And if he says no, he just wants casual still, if you can move on like you say, then move on?
Just a thought.
C xxxxxx... (read in full...)
Dating both of us in parallel? Why would someone do somthing like this?
Q. I have been seeing someone for about 4 months and recently found out that he has been double dating - seeing me part of the week and the other lady the other part. He has shared the same restaurants, jokes, smooth talking lines and everything. He ...
A. 4 September 2008: Because they are a playa.
Google playa. Its the main symptom of that illness.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
How can a man move on so quickly?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I were inseperable for 3 years before I went away for a couple months. We had some problems in the relationship I left, but the time away really gave me a new persepective on my relationship with him and I came back with a...
A. 3 September 2008: Quite often men move on very quick, sometimes women do too. But ive definately noticed it in men more.
My ex was telling me he loved me just over a week ago. Now he is loved up with some youngster big time and ive had to block him on my phone due ... (read in full...)
How can I end it?
Q. Ive been dating this guy for about a year on and off. We have slept together, he is 44 and I am 39, both divorced. Earlier this year I ended it because I found him on dating sites and was very upset but then I went back to him because I missed him ...
A. 2 September 2008: Sweetheart, leave this guy before he leaves you. He is active on dating sites because he is looking for someoen else. As soon as he does, you wont see his rse for dust hunni. THATS going to hurt a whole lot more!
Atleast if you get out, before he d... (read in full...)
After I took the pill, my period hasn't stopped coming!
Q. Hi, I'm currently on the pill (Not for contaceptive use, but to shorten and lighten my period) However, i first started taking it on Thursday 14th August and have only ever failed to take 1. Anyway the problem is, i'm still on my period - it has ...
A. 2 September 2008: It could just be a temp side affect. But when i went on the mini pill many moons ago, i bled constantly for months so had to stop it. Have since discovered i cant use anything with hormones in though.
Have a look on google and see if others have... (read in full...)
Can it ever work with a guy who's best friend with his ex?
Q. The guy Im seeing still meets up with his ex girlfriend - they are really good friends. I think I mind a little bit deep deep down but purely based on my own insecurities and because I like him. Can smoeone who has been in this situation tell me ...
A. 2 September 2008: Course it can hun.
I am mates with my ex husband. We divorced 16 yrs ago, but we did have a brief fling when we were both single a yr ago, was out with him and some mates saturday just gone as it happens.
Still get on fine with kids dad too, alt... (read in full...)
Age differences - should people's reactions matter?
Q. I am a 34 year old male who has just begun dating a 19 year old female. I love being with her and adore her greatly, she is mature for her years , fun, serious when neccessary and has all the qualities of my ideal woman! However, I am concerned ...
A. 1 September 2008: Nothing wrong with it if you're not looking forever.
Its legal afterall!
But if you've only just started dating, you wont of seen the real side of each other yet i reakon.
When we are teens we rarely deal with certain situations that innevitably ... (read in full...)
I am really tired of investing in friendships that pan out to nothing. What can I do to stop trusting people so much?
Q. I am really tired of investing in friendships that pan out to nothing. It is like I keep thinking I am making a new/close friend and then for whatever reason, I eventually end up never hearing from them again and I am left wondering what the heck I ...
A. 31 August 2008: Maybe you're just trying too hard? Its nice to be someones friend and offer them advice etc, but you want more out of life than to be someones sounding board. But it could be that you put that across to them so they listen to you, then they're off ... (read in full...)
My fiance doesn't love me like she used to...she wants to see other people?
Q. My fiance told me she doesent love me like she did. She came over on sunday and texted me before she came over that we needed to talk. It bothered me so much, she was going to wait until after dinner, but i begged her and she said, I think we should ...
A. 30 August 2008: What a great family you have there! Not. Why would they even want it to be ok with someone that is basically saying they want to use you for sex until someone better comes along?
This woman has a bare faced cheek sweetheart.
Are you willing ... (read in full...)
My husband has filed for divorce and I don't know what to do!
Q. I am 34 years old w/ 3 children -2 boys (16 and 13) and a girl (8). My husband and I became friends first. We talked until all hours of the night (he was still with a girl he had been with through high school- 9 years). We saw each other a few time...
A. 29 August 2008: Sounds like you have been so battered down by the kids things that you have lost yourself and probably aren't the same person you used to be. Who would be!
I expect your kids found it hard to adjust, its not like they were that young when you met ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me really bad... will he change someday?
Q. Hi, I apologize if this is long but it wil help u understand, I think neway. He has ben my boyfriend 4 almost 2yrs now. There have been sum issues but it seems 2 b getin worse. Here is sum backgrnd info on him tht mite help. ill try 2make this s...
A. 29 August 2008: Ja sure he might change. In quite a few yrs maybe! My grandad was a rotten husband to my gran. My mum told us when we got older that she used to stand between her mum and her dad to stop him cracking a chair over her mums head. But by the time he ... (read in full...)
I walked in my sister's room and she was masturbating!
Q. okay i have a 12 year old sister and one day i walked in her room and she was masturbating...like really u could tell dhe was having a oragasm..... is this normal? is something wrong with her? --Confused...
A. 29 August 2008: You have very good grammar for a 10 yr old! Hmmm...
She is perfectly normal.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I don't understand men! Why can't they just make a decision?
Q. I dont understand men. Why do they say one thing an then do the complete opposite. For example my guy an me broke up an then we take some time apart an after awile we begin talking again. When i went away we talked lots. He told me he wanted t...
A. 29 August 2008: No he's just one of those gys that isn't a 'what you see is what you get' kinda guy, and he doesn't yet know what he wants.
My ex was 34 and was the same way, some guys never grow up hun, and you are better off running as fast as your feet will carr... (read in full...)
She's texting too much and I think she's cheating on me
Q. Well lets see.... I have a girlfriend of two months and am really into her. She seems to be into me by what she says but her actions are leading me to believe otherwise. She knows that when I am with her I hate it when she texts all the time. ...
A. 29 August 2008: Hi
Hard to say, we dont know the girl! But all I can say is, when you start dating someone as you have, they have people they have struck up friendships with while they were single before you came along, and they dont just cut them off because you ... (read in full...)
I've been celibate for 5 years and I'm wondering why I can't attract men!
Q. I have been celibate for 5 years and I have been trying like mad to figure out why I can no longer attract men! I never used to have this problem - I had plenty of boyfriends and relationships throughout my 20's. I broke up with a long term partner ...
A. 29 August 2008: Hey I reakon you just haven't met the right person yet!
I'm the opposite where I meet shed loads of guys, yet dont want anything physical til I am in a relationship, and because they dont float my boat in other ways, i dont persue the 'rel... (read in full...)
I'm finally with a nice man but I'm not sexually attracted to him, why?
Q. I was a single mom of two boys when I met "Bob". My previous relationship lasted 8 years and was very violent ending in CPS taking one of my children because of the abuse. It was either my ex or my boys and I picked my boys and currently have sole ...
A. 29 August 2008: Well done on binning the ex off in favour of your kids, so many dont! Thats something I just dont get!
But this guy sounds lovely. What a shame you dont see him like that in the sexual way. All i will say is, I have a mate that went back to her reli... (read in full...)
I don't disagree to porn watching, what disturbs me is that when he watches it, he stops making love to me.
Q. Am I not as good as porn? My Boyfried doesn't realise that I know that he stays up late so that he can look at porn - he don't have an addition to it, but when he watches it, he stops making love to me. We've just had a fantastic fortnight where ...
A. 29 August 2008: Have a chat then. Explain your concerns. If you two cant do that, then its a little concerning.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I trust him, it's his ex that I can't stand or trust. Should I feel worried? He never mentions her now or keeps contact...
Q. I been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year and two months so far.He stays in northern cali and I stay in southern cali.We plan on him coming down when my family gets situated and theres a possibility of him moving in. It...
A. 29 August 2008: No. I think its finally dawned on him that she thinks she can still pull his strings, but cant. Although it would of spoken more volumes if he had just ignored her.
He might of slept with her when they first split, thats not so unusual.
But i... (read in full...)
My current boyfriend is addicted to porn and that caused me to have a fling with my ex
Q. i have been with my bf for about 2.5 years, recently I have caught on to his obsession with internet porn.Porn really doesnt bother me , we have even watched it together before, but he's sneaking around looking at this all the time(well he thinks ...
A. 28 August 2008: Sounds like you are using that as an excuse to cheat. But if you dont want to be wih your guy anymore, why not end it?
I guess he must of felt somehow that you didn't like the porn thing with him, otherwise he wouldn't be asking when you're comi... (read in full...)
Was this a 'sex on the first date' scenario? We knew each other online for months beforehand!
Q. Say you're chatting with someone online for 3 months (webcam/phone aswell), all the while getting closer and closer, you know theres something there....theres a real spark, you have really enjoyed getting to know each other and decide its time to ...
A. 28 August 2008: Then dont worry about it! Its not important is it.
If all is good, then who cares.
I would say its sex on a first date yes. But its a bonus if you had talked for a while beforehand.
Congratulations! Nice to hear a happy ending on here!
C xxx... (read in full...)
I need a major pep talk! This break up means I can't sleep, can't eat, can't concentrate. Help me PLEASE!
Q. Well, I haven't heard from my ex since Sunday night when she called looking for her things. She drunk dialed me the night before, but I didn't answer it. When I dropped off her things Sunday evening I asked her if she had called me the night be...
A. 28 August 2008: Hey, she wont be emotionally ready to meet someone new yet! Drunk dialling you indicates she still thinks about you too much! Even if she met someone the other day, the likelyhood of it going anywhere is pretty much zero!
BUT thats not the real issu... (read in full...)
I've been told that my colleague I was dating answered to personal questions about us at the office and encouraged the banter. I'm so hurt now!
Q. Another day another problem thats how my life seems at the moment....was seeing a guy at work and now found out he has been letting guys take the piss out of me...lauging when they was saying to him...she loves you she wants to have your ...
A. 28 August 2008: Hey how reliable is the mole? It it not possible its all hear say?
I mean, it might all be quite exagerated. But if i'm honest, i reakon if we could all be a fly on the wall of our other halfs work place, we would be filing for divorce toot swee... (read in full...)
How can I help my hypochondriac boyfriend?
Q. how do i cope? how do i cope my boyfriend is a hypochondriac. For example he has a bump on his head... he thinks its a tumor. He has a cyst in his cheek ... he thinks its a tumor. He has a bowel problem and thought he had cancer. When i g...
A. 28 August 2008: He has health anxiety, its not called hypochondria anymore lol
Tell him to check out no more panic .com. Then he needs to make an appointment with the gp. And get some therapy. Something has triggered it off from his past possibly. A death in the ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing for checking her emails?
Q. I recently used my wifes computer to send an email and noticed she had messages from an old friend. I investigated and realized she was having an emotional affair for over a year. Is it normal to want to check her emails? ...
A. 28 August 2008: It is now!
She's been cheating, i would want more answers than any email could give me though. Need to speak to her dont you.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
My ex won't let me date
Q. Its been a little over a month since our break up and we were together for two years. He has been texting me several times a day and calling me. He told me he wanted to be friends but the constant texting (some letting me know he was thinking about ...
A. 28 August 2008: Cut him off and dont have anything to do with him. He's quite obviously a manipulator. You dont do mates with exes, so why is this guy any different?
Because he is the pushy type thats why. And you can bet your life HE will be dating all n sund... (read in full...)
How can I become a "bad boy"?
Q. theres this girl that ive known for only two months, and she's used to date guys who are the "bad boys" per-say, and i am a guy who likes death and black metal and is a musician, she knows that i like her but she told me that i'm not her type, her ...
A. 28 August 2008: She sounds like a real good catch!
Not.
You can only be a bad boy if its already in you. You cant make yourself one. Women that like bad boys can sniff them out a mile away, there isn't a way to transform into one.
Bad boys are troubled boy... (read in full...)
My fiance cheated on me with his ex because of lack of passion! Will this work out?
Q. I dont know what to do, my fiancee who I have been with for 2 years has slept with his ex girlfriend, who he has a child with just days after our engagment party. Should I forgive him or move on? This girl is always causing trouble for us and has ...
A. 28 August 2008: I would avoid marrying this guy like the plague!
Unless you can put up with 3 people being in this relationship, i would bin him off. Now he's played right into her hands, you wont ever get rid of her i reakon.
C xxxxxx... (read in full...)
He tells me he doesn't like relationships, then continues to flirt intensively; I don't know how to read this guy?
Q. Ok last night i was hanging out on my porch with my "the boy next door crush" There was alot of flirting, touching,cuddling kind of stuff going on. I mean we were like hanging out for like an hour and a half and it was like non stop flirting. Well...
A. 27 August 2008: He sounds quite upfront to me? And likes the flirting and the chasing, but doesn't feel like he likes relationships...yet
That could all change when he meets the right girl. That could be you!
But for now i bet he just wants to hang out and have... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight by christmas, please help!
Q. Hey i wonder if you can give me some advice. I have been wanting to lose weight for some time now, i am 23, 5'6" and weight 11 1/2 stone. I have never had a problem with my weight before, until i met my partner got comfortable and had our beautiful ...
A. 26 August 2008: Not sure how to stop falling off the wagon, i have weeks where i am at the gym, the next week i struggle to get there and missed 2 weeks on the trot a while ago.
Ive lost 9lb in 6 weeks since joining the gym though, and that was after having the ... (read in full...)
The question is, what do I do now? What is my next step? How do I start over again? I'm used to seeing my children everyday....Please help!
Q. I am now 30, so is my wife. We’ve been together for 10 years now, married for 7. Our first child was born 7 years ago. We now have 4 children, or at least she does. Since the birth of her 3rd child I had always been unsure if I was the father. I ...
A. 26 August 2008: Wow, way too much to comment on all of it, but have you thought about a break apart? I know everyone is different, but my mate had a similar situation happen, and after some time apart, he ended up getting back with his wife and bringing the girl up ... (read in full...)
Are these signs he's showing signalling interest in me or just sex?
Q. The guy that I am seeing right now, he always wants to know about my personal life, like how many brothers and sisters do i have and stuff, and he never says anything about sex, but I was just wondering, he also ask me about my friends, my parents, ...
A. 26 August 2008: Trust me, this guy is doing all the right things to signal he is interested in you, not just sex. If someone is interested in your family and friends thats a very good sign.
Dont rush the sex thing, because once you get to know him, you might wish... (read in full...)
How do I get him to talk?
Q. I am actually a kind of person that loves to share. I don't normally do it with everyone but only to ones that are close to me. I talk quite a bit about my family, past, friends etc with my boy friend. He does talk to me about these too but very ...
A. 26 August 2008: You sound just like me!
I'm also very very upfront, and i even used to tell my ex about stupid little mundane things in my day, that probably bored him to tears, but he said he liked it. But he was the opposite, and i never managed to get him to o... (read in full...)
Are there any undamaged women left?
Q. I'm sick of trying to get along with a grown woman these days. Every woman I've known just makes the same mistakes in life for the same reasons. I don't even want to keep trying to find anyone different anymore. How do I find a grown adult ...
A. 25 August 2008: Its not only you guys that ask the same questions you know!
Its hard for us females sometimes to meet someone that hasn't got major issues too. If i met a guy that i fancied, got on great with and he wanted the same as me, i would probably be ther... (read in full...)
How do I break it to friends and family that I'm back with an ex they hate?!
Q. Hi I used to go out with this guy, who i really liked but he broke up with me a few weeks after me losing my virginity to him. I was angry at the time but got over it quite quickly!.....But my parents, family and close friends did not and still sp...
A. 25 August 2008: Well its your job to make them believe that. If you are sure he's a reformed character, tell them you're not daft, you wouldn't even think of getting back with him if he hadn't turned over a new leaf! Then keep your fingers crossed he doesn't let ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to friends and family that I'm back with an ex they hate?!
Q. Hi I used to go out with this guy, who i really liked but he broke up with me a few weeks after me losing my virginity to him. I was angry at the time but got over it quite quickly!.....But my parents, family and close friends did not and still sp...
A. 25 August 2008: You dont say why they hate him? Is it just because he finished with you and broke your heart? I guess thats understandable and they would be worried he would do it again. But it could of been worse and he cheated on you or was rough with you etc?
P... (read in full...)
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